Black Heart
by FantasyGirl1992
Summary: We all know that Sirius Black never had much time for girls, but a certain young lady may have changed his mind. There's only one problem: Rosa Glancy is a Slytherin. Can Lily help Sirius to overcome his prejudices and admit to what he wants? Flits between James and Sirius' POV, with occasional flashes of Remus. Rated M for possible future lemons.
1. The Marauders Meet

**Disclaimer: All characters you recognise belong to JK Rowling.**

James Potter slid down the window to bid one last farewell to his mother, who was standing on the edge of Platform 9¾, looking stricken. His father was at her side, his hand gently supporting the small of her back as she struggled to keep herself from weeping.

"Don't cry, mum," said James, "I'll be back at Christmas."

She let out a dry sob and James quickly became annoyed. "Mum, seriously. People will see."

A shadow of pain flickered across Mrs Potter's face, and James instantly felt a stab of guilt. He knew that his mother, who doted on him, had been dreading this day as much as he'd been looking forward to it.

"Honestly, Mum, I'll write. You won't even know I'm gone." Then, before she could cry again, James leaned out of the window and pecked her on the cheek, hoping that no one would see him doing so.

His mother forced a smile, and at that moment a whistle blew and she was forced to take a step back as the train began to move off. James remained hanging out of the window, waving back at his parents for as long as they were still in sight.

"Oi, Potter. You really need a whole compartment to yourself?"

James withdrew his head from the window and turned to see a boy he vaguely recognised. Sirius Black, he knew, was from an old, pureblood family – and a Slytherin family at that.

"Gryffindor carriage," he grunted at the boy. "No snakes in here."

"That's all right then," said Black, and settled himself down in a seat.

"But you're a snake," said James, before he could stop himself.

"Not if I can bloody help it," replied Black, pulling a magazine out of his pocket. James was startled to see that it was a Muggle magazine, though he didn't recognise the strange contraption photographed on the front.

Black clearly saw him looking. "It's a motorbike," he said authoritatively, leafing through the magazine. "Muggles ride on them."

"Like cars?" asked James. Cars, at least, he was familiar with.

"Sort of," said Black, "But better. Cool kids have them."

"Oh." James was a little out of his comfort zone, and he didn't like it. He was used to people at home listening to him, and respecting his opinions. Black was giving the distinct impression that he was enjoying knowing more than James.

At this moment the compartment door opened again, and a small, somewhat spotty boy stuck his head through. "Can I sit down? Everywhere else is full."

James groaned inwardly. He could sense that this boy, whoever he was, was not going to be the coolest kid in school, and he wasn't sure, in that case, that he wanted to be associating with him.

Black, however, had made the decision for him. Without looking up from the magazine he waved a hand lazily and said, "Be my guest."

The boy scurried into the carriage and sat down, opposite James. "I'm Peter. Peter Pettigrew."

"Potter," said James distantly, and turned to gaze out of the window. Maybe if he didn't talk to the kid…

"But what's your first name?" asked Pettigrew, earnestly.

"James." James didn't move his eyes from the cityscape flashing past them.

"James Potter," said Pettigrew. "Are your family wizards?"

"Yeah," said James. "Old pureblood family."

"Oh good," said Pettigrew, eagerly.

Black made a noise, and James and Pettigrew both turned to look at him.

"What?" asked Pettigrew, looking anxious.

"I just don't see what's so great about old pureblood families," growled Black.

Pettigrew looked crushed. James just shrugged. "Nothing. I was just saying. Since he asked. Anyway," he added with a sneer, "You can hardly talk."

Black made another noise, deep in the back of his throat, and didn't reply. Pettigrew looked from one to the other, looking increasingly nervous.

Fortunately, at this point the door opened once again, and a tall, thin boy peered through. "Are there any seats in here?"

"Go for it," said James, glad of the interruption. "I'm James."

"Remus," said the new boy, and perched on a seat by the door. "Are you all first years?"

"Yeah," said James. "This is Peter, and this is Sirius."

Remus nodded nervously to both, but didn't say anything.

After a few moments, Sirius broke the silence. "So, Remus," he said, flicking over a page of his magazine as if already bored of the conversation, "Would you like to weigh in on the topic of pureblood superiority?"

"No one said…" began James, but the words were barely out of his mouth when Sirius looked him straight in the eye for the first time. James felt a jolt of surprise at the ferocity in the other boy's glare, and fell silent.

"Actually I'm half-blood," said Remus. "Mum was Muggle-born. Is that a problem?" he asked, looking from James to Sirius in trepidation.

"Not to me," replied Sirius, who had gone back to the magazine.

"Me neither," said James quickly, and Remus, looking relieved, flashed him a quick smile.

Everyone was quiet for a few moments.

"Do any of you play Quidditch?" asked Peter after a while. The silence was clearly making him uncomfortable.

Remus, who seemed less concerned by the quiet, simply shook his head. Sirius screwed up his face, apparently indicating that he thought Quidditch was a waste of time. James, however, was delighted to have the opportunity to talk about one of his favourite subjects.

"Oh, yes," he said casually, "I've been flying for years. I love Quidditch."

"What position?" asked Peter, his eyes lighting up in fascination. James noticed Sirius' mouth curl into an amused sneer, but decided to ignore him. "Chaser, mostly. I can do everything reasonably, though."

For the next fifteen minutes, James presented an enraptured Peter with a series of flying anecdotes. Remus, too, listened with polite interest. Sirius, however, remained glued to his magazine, though James thought he caught the odd flicker of derisive amusement passing over the other boy's face, and it annoyed him.

After some time, the door the compartment opened yet again, and a red-haired girl walked in, followed by a rather gangly boy with black hair. The girl surveyed them all, with the defiance characteristic of someone who is pretending not to be very, very nervous.

"There's just about room in here, Sev," she said to the dark-haired boy, who looked less than impressed. "Are you all first years too?"

"That's right," said James, a little annoyed to have been interrupted from his monologue.

"Which house?" said the boy, suspiciously.

"Gryffindor, if we get the choice," said James. "Got a problem with that?" He was aware, out of the corner of his eye, of Sirius lowering the magazine, taking a sudden interest.

"No," said the boy who was apparently called Sev."If you'd rather be brawny than brainy…"

"But… but…" gabbled Peter. "Where else would you want to go?"

"That kid's a snake if ever I saw one," said Sirius darkly.

The girl looked from Sirius to James and back, then turned to the other boy. "On second thoughts, Sev, we'll find somewhere else."

The boy, clearly relieved, couldn't get out of the carriage fast enough. The girl, however, paused to give Sirius a disgusted look.

"Not even there yet and you're pretending houses make a difference," she hissed.

"A snake's a snake," said Sirius coldly. "You one of them to?"

"I won't know until I get there," she snapped, and went to leave.

"Wait." James had surprised himself. She turned, her eyes flashing. "What?"

James was not sure, now that he'd done it, why he'd asked her to wait. "What's your name?" he asked, unable to think of anything better to say.

"Lily Evans," she told him, with narrowed eyes.

"James," he said in return. "James Potter."

"Well, I'll see you around, James," she replied. Then her eyes turned to Sirius. "Or not."

And with that she disappeared.

James pulled a face. Remus, who had been quiet throughout the encounter – and throughout the journey, come to that – suddenly spoke. "That seemed a bit unnecessary, Sirius."

Sirius looked slowly up from his magazine to meet Remus' eye. Clearly he hit Remus with the same glare he had unleashed on James earlier, because Remus flinched, shrugged apologetically, and looked away.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Peter asked James another Quidditch question and James, pleased to return to his comfort zone, took the cue. He continued talking for some time, until Sirius suddenly put down his magazine and interjected: "For the love of God, Potter, give it a rest."

"What?" said James, surprised and injured. No one had ever told him to be quiet before.

"Quidditch isn't everything," said Sirius.

James was about to continue protesting, but he was interrupted when the carriage door opened once again and a girl walked in. Like Lily, she was red-haired, but unlike Lily, she was alone.

The girl walked into the carriage, glanced at each of them, then waved for Peter to move over. He did so, staring at her as if mesmerised. The girl reached into her robes and pulled out a book, and without a word began to read.

The boys looked at each other, incredulous. Sirius was the first to speak. "No, of course we don't mind if you join us," he said, his voice dripping with irony.

"Good," said the girl, without looking up. The boys exchanged more glances. After a few moments, Peter piped up. "I'm Peter."

"That's nice," said the girl, her eyes still fixed on her book.

"And this is James," continued Peter, unfazed. "And Sirius, and Remus."

"Charmed," said the girl.

"We're all first years."

"Yes."

"Are you?"

"Yes."

James was losing patience. "You're being very rude, you know," he chastised the girl. Peter's face lit up at James' support.

"Actually, it's your friend who's being rude," said the girl. "He can see I'm trying to read." She slammed the book shut. "And now you're being rude too."

"We're not the ones who just wandered into a full carriage and interrupted everyone without introducing ourselves," replied James hotly.

"Although since you just interrupted another of Potter's Quidditch stories, that's a rudeness for which I'll be eternally grateful," drawled Sirius, earning himself a glare from James and a quick smile from Remus.

"Do you play?" Peter asked the girl.

"I don't know," she said calmly. "I've never tried."

"How can you never have tried?" asked James, flabbergasted.

"My parents are – what do you people call them? Oh yes, Muggles," said the girl, unconcernedly. "So there weren't any broomsticks around when I was growing up."

James was about to retort, but Sirius cut across him. "What's your name?"

"Rosa," said the girl, "Rosa Glancy."

"And what house do you want to be in, Rosa Glancy?" James was stung; Sirius was taking more interest in this girl than he had in James for the entire journey.

"Well, I don't really know a lot about them," said the girl absently. "So I suppose I'll just wait and see what happens."

With that she opened her book again, clearly hoping to indicate that the audience was over. James and Sirius looked at each other. Sirius raised an eyebrow, and James couldn't help but grin a little. "Can I look at that?" he asked, nodding at the discarded magazine.

Sirius shrugged and handed it over, apparently bored of its contents.

The rest of the journey passed uneventfully, and before they knew it they were arriving at Hogsmeade. The four boys joined the throng of students bustling to get off the train, and somehow they lost Rosa in the crowd. James wasn't particularly bothered, and though he thought he saw Sirius looking around for her, he couldn't be sure that that was what the other boy was doing.

As they spilled out onto the platform, the boys were greeted by a bellowing shout. "Firs' years! Firs' years with me!"

A giant of a man was standing in the middle of the platform, holding a lantern and yelling over the chaos. James glanced at Remus, who nodded, and they started to push their way towards the man, Peter scurrying behind them, Sirius languidly bringing up the rear.

The older students dispersed, leaving a crowd of eleven-year-olds gathered around the huge man. He smiled kindly at them all, but James was sure he wasn't the only one who felt a little intimidated. In fact he could feel Peter trembling beside him. Sirius, however, looked positively bored, and James was damned if he was going to show his own fear in front of the other boy. Instead, he simply muttered, "Pull yourself together, Peter."

The man was gesturing for hush. "You lot come wit' me, I'll see yer right," he said, and turned, waving for them all to follow him. They fell into an uneasy line behind him, no one sure what was coming.

The man led them out of the village and down a winding pathway. After a minute, James realised that they were walking alongside the shore of a lake, and noticed a little jetty just up ahead. A number of small boats were tethered next to the jetty.

"You have to be joking," he murmured, barely aware that he was speaking aloud, and Sirius turned to sneer at him. "Not scared, are you, Potter? Hardly Gryffindor material if you are."

"I'm not scared," snarled James, and as he did so, a hush fell over the crowd of students, so that everyone heard him.

The man turned and beamed at him. "Glad ter hear it. After you then, lad."

Silently cursing Sirius, James stepped forward, his head held up with a confidence he did not feel. Aware of everyone's eyes on him, he strode out across the jetty and stepped into one of the boats.

As he sat down, he realised that Sirius was right behind him. "Nice one, James," he said, and James felt a twinge of excitement to hear Sirius use his first name. Remus following Sirius, and Peter scurried in at the rear. James looked around him to see the other first years flowing into boats. He caught sight of Lily, being helped into a boat by the Sev boy. They were followed into the boat by Rosa. James glanced at Sirius and saw that he too had seen them.

Suddenly James wasn't thinking about the other boats anymore, because his had begun to move. Fortunately it wasn't raining, but it was cold and windy and spray from the lake speckled itself across his face. The four boys huddled together for warmth, whilst simultaneously pretending that they were doing anything but.

However miserable the weather, the appearance of Hogwarts castle on the other side of the lake made all four of them stare in awe. Vast and imposing, the gothic structure towered over them, and James heard Peter give a little gasp. Even Sirius, studiously unimpressed by everything, had his mouth hanging slightly open.

There was a jolt as the boat gently grazed the shore on the other side of the lake. The first years staggered out of the boats, cold and damp, excited and terrified all at the same time, and regrouped on the bank. The giant man was still with them, and he hollered for them all to follow him. They obeyed, none of them saying a word to each other.

Soon they were all tumbling into the Entrance Hall of the great castle, and James gaped around him, taking in the towering staircases and the suits of armour dotted around the place. The walls were crowded with magical portraits waving and winking down at him, and a dark-haired woman, perhaps in her late forties, was standing on the steps regarding the gathering and waiting for silence. It came quickly.

"Greetings, first years," she said, in clipped, Scottish tones. "I trust you have all had a good journey and are ready for what lies ahead of you. The Sorting Ceremony will begin momentarily. I will read out your names in alphabetical order, and each of you is to step forward and try on the Sorting Hat. The hat will assign each of you to a house, and once it has done so, you are to join your housemates at the appropriate table."

With these words she disappeared seamlessly into the crowd, and the students waited in stunned silence and she made her way through them and through the double doors to the right of the main staircase. As the door closed behind her, a bubble of chatter arose.

"How does a hat know what house you should be in?" asked Peter nervously.

"Who knows. But it's never wrong," said Sirius confidently. "And it'll put me in Gryffindor, no question."

James was beginning to wish he had Sirius' confidence. He knew his father would be disappointed if he didn't follow his footsteps into Gryffindor. His mother would be happy enough if he was a Ravenclaw like her, but the shame of being in Hufflepuff would be unspeakable, and as for what they would say if he had to tell them they'd raised a snake… It didn't bear thinking about.

The door to the Great Hall opened and the woman reappeared. "Follow me, please," she barked over the noise, and a hush descended. The students began to shuffle into the Hall behind her, and gathered in a clump in the middle of the room. James was very aware that the whole school was staring inquisitively at them, and he didn't like the sensation. He was used to being looked at, but usually it was with adoration, not the patronising probing he was receiving now.

At the front of the Hall stood a stool, and on it perched a rather battered looking wizarding hat. The whole school had turned now to stare expectantly at the hat, apart from Sirius, who was inspecting his fingernails with apparent disdain.

After a few moments, a tear in the brim of the hat opened and it began to sing.

_Within this castle, Hogwarts school,_

_We have a strange tradition._

_The school comprises houses four,_

_And to me falls the division._

_Our four founders differed in_

_Their thoughts on how to teach,_

_And their houses show the values_

_That were so prized by each._

_For Ravenclaw, she sought the wisest_

_Students that presented to her;_

_While Gryffindor, instead, he prized_

_The brave over any other;_

_Slytherin valued pride, and cunning,_

_And most of all ambition;_

_And Hufflepuff, she took the rest,_

_And completed the tradition._

_In life each founder chose his own_

_From the candidates who gathered,_

_But what of once they'd all moved on?_

_Who would choose thereafter?_

_Back then I was a humble hat,_

_Perched on Godric's head,_

_But he realised that with some tweaks,_

_I could choose instead._

_And so this is my duty,_

_Though I sometimes find it queer;_

_It is for me to help you find_

_Your homes while you are here._

The Great Hall erupted with applause. James, who had been warned of the sorting hat's songs by his parents, joined in. Peter was clapping earnestly, Remus simply slapped his hands together once or twice, and Sirius was still staring at his hands, apparently without interest.

The Scottish woman marched to the front of the hall, and summoned a scroll out of thin air. She unravelled it, and began to read names.

"Abbott, Clara."

A small, mousey girl scuttled forward. The woman lifted the hat off the stool and set it down on the girl's head. After a matter of moments, the hat cried out, "Hufflepuff!"

"Makes sense," said Sirius without looking up. "All the Abbotts are Hufflepuffs."

James was starting to wish that Sirius would take the whole thing more seriously. After a few more names, however, the woman was calling out "Black, Sirius!" and Sirius was forced to stop admiring his own hands (and what about them was so fascinating James could not possibly comprehend) and saunter forwards through the crowd. He flopped into the stool and sneered as the hat dropped onto his head.

He was there for about thirty seconds. During the wait, James was sure he saw a flash of annoyance – or something deeper than that – in his expression, but then the hat called out, "Gryffindor!"

Sirius grinned, and made his way back up the aisle. As he sat down at the Gryffindor table, he caught James' eye and winked.

The Scottish woman continued reading names, and James, knowing he wouldn't be for a while, had almost zoned out when suddenly she was crying out for "Evans, Lily!"

The girl from the train made her way carefully to the stool and perched on it, looking nervously. The hat had barely touched her head when it announced, "Gryffindor!"

A few feet away from him, the boy she had called Sev flinched. In the same moment, he saw Sirius bury his face in his hands. However, the woman was now asking "Glancy, Rosa" to step forwards and on hearing her name, Sirius looked up again, suddenly interested.

The hat took a long time over Rosa. After some minutes, it finally called out, "Slytherin!"

Rosa stood and made her way over to the Slytherin table. James felt a hint of surprise, then saw that Sirius' head was once again in his hands. He wondered why Sirius was so bothered.

Another few names came and went. Remus, whose surname, it transpired, was Lupin, was sorted after some deliberation into Gryffindor, and went to join Sirius. Peter was on the stool for considerably longer, longer even than Rosa, but in the end he too was sent to the Gryffindor table. And now, finally, it was James' turn.

As the hat was placed upon his head, he caught Sirius' eye, and found himself thinking, as hard as he could, _Not Slytherin, not Slytherin._

"No," said a little voice just beside his ear, "I think you're right about that. Actually, I think it's quite obvious where you belong. I daresay your father will be proud to hear you joined him in GRYFFINDOR!"

The last word was shouted out for the whole school to hear. Sirius punched the air and James grinned in relief, hurrying over to join his newfound friends.

"Well done, mate," said Sirius, grinning manically. "Good year for the lions, I think." This was whispered under the sounds of the sorting ceremony, which continued at the front of the hall. "Pity about Evans, she looked like she could get annoying…" _Only because you were trying to wind her up,_ thought James, but he decided not to say anything, nodding in agreement instead. "And that Rosa's a shock, she didn't look like a snake."

"What exactly does a snake look like?" asked Remus quizzically.

"I know a snake when I see one," said Sirius derisively, as if it were a stupid question. James, however, felt like Remus had a point. He glanced up at the Slytherin table and saw, to his surprise, that Rosa was looking over at them, a thin smile playing about her lips. He was about to smile back when he remembered that she was a snake, and he had no business smiling at snakes. Instead he turned to watch Lily Evans' friend, "Snape, Severus," making his way towards the Sorting Hat.

The hat took even longer over Snape than it had with Peter. Eventually, however, it announced, "Slytherin!" Snape made his way over to the Slytherin table, taking a seat a few spaces down from Rosa. As he sat, his eyes sought out Lily, but accidentally rested on James.

James felt a jolt as unbridled dislike flashed across Snape's face. He looked away as quickly as possible, turning to talk to Remus. He could see in Remus' expression that he had observed some of the exchange, but the other boy didn't ask questions, for which James was grateful. If nothing else, he had no idea what the answers were.

As the ceremony came to a close, the Scottish woman set the hat down on the stool for the final time and made her way up to the top table, taking her seat on the right hand side of the Headmaster. It was then that James realised at last that she must be the Deputy Headmistress, Minerva McGonagall, who had been at Hogwarts with his own parents. He must make sure she realised who he was, he thought vaguely, but didn't dwell on the idea, as Headmaster Albus Dumbledore was getting up to speak.

"I'm afraid I must trouble you all with a few words, before the excellent food you are about to consume renders you all insensible," said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling merrily. "First of all, welcome, or to the great majority of you, welcome back. I must either remind or inform you all that the forest on the edge of the grounds remains, as ever, out of bounds, and that there is to be no magic in the corridors. I say it every year but one or two of you always seem to forget." Opposite James, Sirius gave a slight chuckle. "These little matters aside, I don't wish to detain you any further from what promises to be a truly memorable dinner. Have a good year, one and all!"

As food began magically to appear on the table before him, James looked up at Sirius, across to Peter, and then to Remus next to him. _Yes,_ he thought. _This year could well be a very good one indeed._


	2. Four Years Later

"Here we go again," said James, falling into a seat on the Hogwarts Express beside Sirius.

"Not before time," muttered Sirius, who was doodling on the back of a copy of that morning's _Daily Prophet_. James and Remus exchanged a look. They both knew that Sirius loathed his home, his family, and everything about the summer holidays, but they also knew that he didn't like to talk about it.

"OWLs this year, though," Peter reminded them anxiously.

"We'll be fine," said Sirius breezily.

"_You_ will," replied Remus, who had a copy of _Intermediate Transfiguration_ open on his lap.

"And you won't be, Mr Prefect?" taunted James. Remus shrugged and went back to his book.

"We all will be," Sirius went on confidently. "By then we'll all be animagi, and if we can do that we can do anything."

"Quiet, Sirius!" scolded Remus, closing the book and tucking it into a pocket in his robes. "I have to go, prefect meeting."

James and Sirius followed him out with a sarcastic round of applause and cheers. Peter, ever struggling with irony, clapped with true enthusiasm. Sirius rolled his eyes at James, who grinned.

Remus hadn't been gone long when James noticed Lily Evans walking past their compartment, Snape in tow. "Oi, Evans," he yelled, and she stopped, and opened the door a crack. "What is it, Potter?"

"Come sit with us, Evans," said James. "You know you don't have to keep hanging round with that snake."

"Go to hell, Potter," spat Lily, and slammed the door shut again.

James shrugged as Sirius sniggered. "You know, James, I don't like Snivellus any more than you do, but you might get a bit further with Evans if you stop being so openly horrible to him in front of her."

James scowled. "Wish I knew what she sees in him."

It was Sirius' turn to shrug, and go back to his doodling. Peter eagerly took up where Sirius had left off. "Who knows, James? He's snake scum; she could do so much better. Like you. I don't know what's wrong with her."

"Yeah," responded James distantly. For once he wasn't in the mood for Peter's sycophancy. Fortunately, he was provided quickly with another distraction, as Rosa was passing the carriage.

James sensed Sirius stiffen beside him. His friend's initial interest in the red-head had descended into studied dislike ever since the Sorting Ceremony four years previously. James couldn't quite see why. Yes, Rosa was a snake, but she wasn't like the other snakes in their year. She wasn't quite like anyone else in their year. She kept herself to herself.

Rosa paused at their door, peering in through the glass. There was space for her in the compartment, but her eyes met Sirius' and instead she moved on. Sirius made an aggressive, guttural noise. "That's it, snake, keep walking."

"You know, you might get a bit further with Rosa if you weren't so openly horrible to her face," said James. This was an old taunting point, which had developed some time in the previous year. Sirius' dislike of Rosa was deliberate and unwavering, and he accordingly hated it whenever James implied that his coldness masked somewhat warmer feelings.

Sirius made a disgusted noise, opened the _Prophet, _and buried his face in it. Peter laughed gleefully as the door opened once more and Remus returned. "Did I miss anything?"

"The love of Sirius' life popped by," said Peter eagerly. "And Evans."

Remus raised an eyebrow. Sirius somehow managed to read the _Prophet_ more intensely, clearly demonstrating his distaste for Peter's comments.

"Both prefects, actually," said Remus.

"Of course Evans is prefect," said Sirius, not looking up. "Evans the perfect prefect."

"She didn't say anything to us," said James.

"Probably because she knew that nothing was less likely to impress you," Remus pointed out fairly.

x-x-x-x-x

A few weeks later, Sirius was in the library, alone. This was somewhat unusual; he rarely went anywhere without James, and visited the library even less frequently. Earlier that day, however, he had crashed into Rosa coming out of a transfiguration class, causing both of them to drop their books. He had scrabbled around on the floor collecting his things, and she had done likewise, to the undying amusement of James. James hadn't let it go all day, and Sirius, reaching boiling point, had stormed out of the Gryffindor common room and found himself in the library, looking for anything that might help him, James and Peter in their quests to become animagi.

He heard someone moving amongst the neighbouring shelves and groaned. It was late, and he had been relying on the fact that no one else would be around at this time. Still, there was no reason to suppose whoever it was would disturb him.

"I'm sorry about earlier."

Damn. It was Rosa.

"My fault," he muttered, not looking up from his books.

"Well, yes," she said, "It was. But it's polite to apologise, isn't it?"

He looked up, annoyed. "So what? You want me to apologise to you, is that it?"

"Well," she replied, steadily meeting his glare. "It would be the polite thing."

"Oh, go to hell, snake," spat Sirius.

She smiled thinly. "Have it your way." And with that, she was gone.

x-x-x-x-x

"Sirius!"

Sirius turned. He was on his way to a Muggle Studies class, a subject none of the others had chosen. He was taking it purely to annoy his family.

Lily Evans was marching down the corridor towards him, wearing the thundery expression she normally reserved for James. Sirius wondered what on earth he had done wrong.

"Why are you always so rude to Rosa?" snapped Lily, coming to a halt directly in front of him.

"Er, what?" asked Sirius, thrown.

"She told me what happened in the library the other night."

"Since when were you friends with Rosa?"

"She's a prefect now too. And a good one, actually. Anyway, you're avoiding the question."

"She's a snake." Sirius felt irritation rising. "Isn't that enough?"

"You know it bloody isn't, Black." Sirius frowned slightly. Whilst Lily unwaveringly called James by his surname, she didn't often last-name him. He guessed she was really pissed off.

"Look, Lily, just because you've got some weird thing going on with Snivellus you can't expect the rest of us to love the snakes," he said, struggling to reign in his temper. "You know they're all on a fast-track to You-Know-Who anyway."

Lily recoiled, obviously stung. "That's not true," she snarled, "And you know it."

For a moment, he thought she was about to slap him. Instead, she just eyeballed him for a few moments, before turning on her heel and marching away.

Sirius' head was spinning throughout the next lesson. Fortunately it was only a single, and he was able to rush off quite soon to his Charms class, where he was joined by the other Gryffindors. He slunk past Lily, who was still glowering at him, to join the boys at the back.

"What've you done to annoy Evans, Sirius?" asked James, who had noticed her glares, as Sirius slid into a seat beside Remus. Sirius, not wanting to bring up Rosa, just shrugged.

As Flitwick clapped his hands together to command everyone's attention, Remus prodded Sirius in the arm, and pushed a scrap of parchment towards him. Sirius saw that his friend had scrawled a single word: _Rosa?_

He nodded imperceptibly. Remus had never joined in with James' teasing about the Slytherin girl. Remus turned over the parchment and scribbled a further message. _Lily said she was going to have a word._

Sirius just shrugged, no knowing how else to respond. Remus sighed, and murmured a quick charm to erase the words on the parchment. Sirius was grateful. James would never let it go if he knew they'd been talking about Rosa.

The Charms lesson was uneventful. Lily kept throwing contemptuous looks back at Sirius; a fact which did not escape James' notice. As the lesson ended, James leaned over to mutter in Sirius' ear. "I don't know what you did to her, mate, but looks like I'm not public enemy number one anymore – so thanks!" James stuffed his books into his bag and hurried over to where Lily was packing her own things away, chatting casually with Clara Abbott.

Sirius watched, amused in spite of himself, as Lily once again shot James down, and his friend traipsed back, looking dejected. "She just said I'm as bad as you are."

"Bad how?" asked Sirius, suddenly anxious that Lily might have told James about the argument with Rosa. James just shrugged. "Merlin knows. Anyway, she said no."

"Face it, James," said Remus, who had yet to pack away his books and was still scribbling furiously. "Until you stop taunting Snape, this thing with Lily is never going to happen."

James grinned. "Oh, it will, Remus. It will."

x-x-x-x-x

As Hallowe'en approached, a bitter cold began to set in. The cold, however, never bothered James, who was always willing to stir the Gryffindor team, of which he was now captain, into action. The first match of the year, against Slytherin, was approaching, and James' fervently competitive nature knew no bounds, especially where snakes were concerned.

The day of the match dawned bright and clear, but colder than Sirius could ever remember. He made his way lazily down to the common room, where roaring fires greeted him. Less welcome was the sight of Peter, wrapped from head to toe in Gryffindor colours, bouncing up and down by the Fat Lady's portrait. "Come on, Sirius, we'll be late!"

"Do we have to go?" moaned Sirius, as Remus appeared, a red and gold scarf wrapped several times around his long neck. "We all know we're going to win anyway, why does it matter whether we watch or not?"

"Of course we have to watch!" exclaimed Peter. "James'll kill us if we don't."

Biting back a reply that dying would be worth it so long as they were warm, Sirius strode back up to the dormitory to get his Gryffindor scarf and a coat. The three then made their way towards the stadium, their teeth chattering audibly.

As the Slytherin team strode out onto the pitch, Remus nudged Sirius in the ribs. He knew why; Rosa Glancy played Chaser for the Slytherin team.

But now the Gryffindors were coming out, and Sirius, Remus and Peter stood with the rest of their house to cheer and applaud. Despite the weather, most of the school had, as usual, come down to watch the match. The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws remained neutral for now, as neither had yet played and the outcome of this match could not affect them. The Slytherins and the Gryffindors, however, faced one another from opposite ends of the stadium, bloodlust in their eyes.

"Keep an eye on Peter," Sirius muttered to Remus. "He looks like he's about to wet himself."

Sure enough, the little Gryffindor was bouncing up and down in his seat, unparalleled excitement on his face as Madame Hooch, the young flying mistress, strode into the middle of the stadium, holding the case full of balls.

Down on the pitch, James stood at the head of the Gryffindor team, his heart racing. He surveyed the Slytherin team with disdain, confident enough that his side could beat them easily. Well, maybe not all that easily, but victory was definitely within their grasp…

Madame Hooch blew her whistle, and threw the Quaffle up into the air. James kicked off immediately, sensing rather than seeing his team rise up around him, and snatched the Quaffle out of its trajectory as it arched up over the pitch. Rosier, the giant Slytherin captain, was bearing down on him immediately, and James swerved to the left to avoid him, but found Rosa there, blocking his path, ready to tackle. James glanced down and saw Alice Macmillan hovering beneath him, so he dropped the Quaffle, trusting her to catch it and swoop off in the direction of the goal posts. This she did, and Rosa abandoned James, diving after her. James arched round to the right, ready should Alice need his help to avoid the Slytherin Chasers, but she was too quick for them. The Quaffle flew through the right-hand hoop and the crowd below gave a below of appreciation.

Even as he celebrated, James couldn't help feeling a little resentful. He always liked to get the first goal of the match.

Down in the stadium, Peter was still watching on tenterhooks. Remus, never a great one for Quidditch, had his nose buried in _The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 5._ Sirius, without even realising it, was watching Rosa. Her annoyance at James' trickery was evident, even from the ground. _Serves you right, snake,_ Sirius thought with some satisfaction.

The game continued for some time. The sides were about equally matched, whatever James might have thought before they took off. Despite himself, Sirius was soon transfixed. However much he might protest about Quidditch, he secretly cared about the sport nearly as much as James did. He hid this fact from the world simply because it annoyed James to see his best friend so apathetic – and, if he was honest, because he wasn't the best flyer himself. That wasn't to say he couldn't do it, but Sirius was not one to pursue something he didn't instantly excel at, and flying had turned out to be one of those things.

His brother, Regulus, on the other hand, was swooping across the pitch above him, seeking out the Snitch. Every time Sirius noticed him, he felt another pang of annoyance. As if his parents needed a further reason to prefer Regulus to him.

Up in the air, James was getting impatient. His team simply weren't performing well enough, and if they weren't careful the snakes would snatch victory from underneath their noses. As he whizzed past Luke Harrison, one of the Gryffindor Beaters, he spat out "Be ruthless, Harrison."

Then Alice tossed the Quaffle to him and James was zipping down the pitch. A shadow fell across him and he glanced up to see Rosa bearing down on him, ready for the tackle. James gritted his teeth and urged his broom to go faster.

There was a sickening crunch just behind his ear and a groan of horror from the crowd below. James didn't dare look back lest he lose the Quaffle, and spun the ball past the Slytherin Keeper, who seemed temporarily to have stopped functioning.

The stadium did not erupt with the usual noise at the goal, and James indignantly skidded to a halt in mid-air and turned back to see where the crunch had come from. At first he couldn't see anything, but then he glanced down and saw the little heap of green and red.

Sirius hadn't realised that he had leapt to his feet with a yelp when the Bludger, directed by Harrison, had hit Rosa in the side of the head. He stood now in the stands, gripping the railings until his knuckles turned white, as her tiny limp form lay sprawled on the ground. Madame Hooch had called for a timeout, and the Slytherin team were all plummeting to the ground, gathering around the pile of robes.

James too alighted on the pitch and hurried over to the scrum of players. Madame Hooch was at the centre, waving people away. James just had long enough to ascertain that the red he had seen was her fiery hair, not blood as he had feared, before Harrison, understandably in a panic, crashed to the ground beside him.

As James sought to calm Harrison, he saw Rosa sit up, rubbing her face with the heel of her hand. The crowd as one let out a breath, and Sirius, still unaware of what he was doing, sank back into his seat.

Madame Hooch summoned a stretcher out of the air and lifted Rosa so that she was hovering a few feet above the ground. James could hear her protesting loudly, saying that she didn't want the hospital wing, she wanted to go on with the game. But McGonagall had arrived, and was ushering the airborne stretcher out of the stadium, carrying the still-arguing Rosa with it. Hooch gathered the Slytherin players around her. James knew that she was giving them the option either to continue or forfeit the match; and he knew what the stubborn Rosier would chose. He hurriedly gathered his team around him.

"If they play on – and they will – we've really got no excuse. Alice, Frank, we need to pick up our game, get those goals in. And Boot, hurry up with that snitch, the sooner we end this the better. Stop snivelling, Harrison, knocking people off their brooms is your job, there's no use being shocked just because you managed it for once. Everyone ready?"

His team gave a murmur of assent. James was unimpressed. "I _said,_ is everyone _ready?"_ he barked, and the team gave out cheers of agreement. James was still less than convinced, but Hooch was beckoning him over, so he left his team to it and went to her.

"The Slytherin team wish to play on," the referee informed him, "But I will be awarding them a penalty." James began to protest but she waved him down. "Frankly, Potter, you're lucky that's all they're getting, so hop to it."

James slunk dejectedly back to his team. "They're getting a penalty," he informed them gloomily. "Make sure it's their last chance for a goal, eh?"

Up in the stands, Sirius was replaying the last few minutes in his head and thanking Merlin that James hadn't been around to see his reaction. He wasn't sure why he had been so worried when the snake girl began to fall; but there was no getting away from the fact that he had been worried. Fortunately, Peter had been bouncing around in nervous excitement and had failed to notice, and Remus, although he had seen the whole thing, could be relied upon never to speak of it again.

Above them, Rosier was missing his penalty. James' squad swept into action with renewed energy, and Sirius could tell that unless his little brother caught the Snitch soon, it would all be over for the snakes.

Just as the thought crossed his mind, Regulus swooped into a dive. Sirius groaned. Much as he hated his brother, he had to concede that once Regulus saw the Snitch, the chances of him not catching it were very slim.

But Boot, the Gryffindor Seeker, had been flying below Regulus, and when Regulus dived, so did Boot. Sirius, Remus and Peter all got to their feet, peering out for the glint of gold that would tell them where the Snitch was and who would get to it first. The two Seekers were parallel now, and there was no way of telling, from down in the stands, who had the advantage.

Then Regulus straightened up, his fist clenched above his head, and the crowd went wild. James, twenty feet above, swore loudly. Regulus had carried his team to a 210-90 victory.

James landed on the ground with a thud, a few feet from Rosier. Clenching his jaw, he stepped forward to shake the Slytherin captain's hand. As he had expected, Rosier took the opportunity to try to break James' fingers in his powerful grip.

As he slunk past Madame Hooch afterwards, she beckoned him over. "For the record, Potter, it would be considered sportsmanlike to visit Miss Glancy in Hospital Wing at some point. Now go and warm up."

x-x-x-x-x

"Can you believe it?" snarled James in the Common Room a few hours later. "To top it all off, I have to go check on the snake."

Sirius was aware of Remus' eyes on him, but didn't meet his friend's gaze. "That's out of order, mate," he said to James. "It's not your fault she fell. What self-respecting Quidditch player falls off her broom?"

"One who's been hit on the side of the head with a Bludger," pointed out Remus fairly. "Looked like she was going to be okay though."

"Of course she is, so why do I have to pretend to care?" James complained gloomily, staring into the fire.

"We could come with you," Remus suggested. He said it casually, but again Sirius sensed that Remus was looking at him, hard.

"I wouldn't put you all through it," James laughed bitterly. He glanced at his watch. "Best get it over with."

James left the Gryffindor tower alone, and made his way over to the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey ushered him in, and pointed unnecessarily to the only occupied bed.

Rosa had no other visitors. For some reason, this bothered James, though it would never normally occur to him to feel sympathy for a snake. He knew that if he had fallen off his broom today, Madame Pomfrey would have had to chase the rest of the team out with an axe – and even that wouldn't have stirred Sirius, Remus and Peter from his side.

He went and hovered awkwardly beside her bed. "Thought I'd come check you were okay," he said grumpily.

Rosa looked thoughtfully up at him. "I'll be fine, thank you," she said. The directness of her gaze made him uncomfortable.

"Well, good," he said in reply. "Harrison's very sorry about the whole thing."

"He was just doing his job," she said calmly. "I hope he wasn't _very_ upset."

James thought back to the last time he had seen the distraught Harrison, being dragged up to his dormitory by Frank and Alice. "He's fine," he lied. Something in him worried that the snake would derive some sick satisfaction out of knowing how badly Harrison was taking the whole thing.

"Well, I'm glad." She was still staring at him. James stared back, not sure what was now expected of him. He didn't want to hang around, but he felt like it was too early to leave just yet.

She sensed his unease. "You can go now, if you like," she said.

James knew it would be rude to seem too eager. "Oh. Right. Yes, I suppose you want to rest."

"That's right," she said, although she neither sounded nor looked particularly tired.

James nodded, tried for a smile that came out as more of a grimace, and turned to go.

"Thanks for coming to see me," she said, as he retreated. He glanced back. To his surprise, she was smiling slightly.

"That's alright," he mumbled.

"No, really. It was very kind. James."

James swallowed hard. He hadn't expected to hear his first name coming from her. "Really, it's fine. Rosa."

With that he hurried out, not wanting to be caught up in another round of awkward conversation.

x-x-x-x-x

Sirius woke up in the middle of the night, sweating heavily. His dreams had been pervaded by the image of a small red and green figure, falling through the sky. He gasped as he awoke, and lay shivering in his bed, breathing heavily.

After a few minutes, he sat up, an idea forming in his sleep befuddled mind. Silent as a cat, he crept over to James' bedside cabinet and rummaged inside, looking for the Invisibility Cloak that he knew was concealed within. He found it and wrapped it hurriedly around himself, stealing out of the dormitory before he had a chance to change his mind.

He padded through the castle, making as little noise as possible. The trouble with Hogwarts was that it was so full of winding passageways that you never knew how close you were to someone who was likely to give you a detention for being out of bed in the dead of night. If only there was some way of knowing who was around you, thought Sirius, as he arrived outside the Hospital Wing and hesitantly pushed open the door.

The room was thankfully empty, Madame Pomfrey presumably asleep in her office. The only occupied bed was Rosa's, and she appeared to be fast asleep, thought it was hard to tell as she was lying on her side with her back to him. Sirius carefully let the door shut behind him and crept towards her, his bare feet making no sound.

She was definitely asleep, he could see the rise and fall of her breathing, too slow for one lying awake. He hovered at the foot of her bed, gazing at her. At last it dawned on him that what he was doing was crazy. What had he expected to see? Looking at her now, he was none the wiser as to why the sight of her falling had bothered him so much.

Then she rolled onto her back and opened her eyes, staring straight up at him. For a split second, Sirius forgot that he was under the cloak as her piercing stare sent waves of shock through his body. But then she closed her eyes, clearly unable to see him, and her breathing steadied again.

Sirius stayed very still for a long time, unwilling to move lest he should wake her. Finally he allowed himself to leave. He snuck out of the Hospital Wing, and then hurried back to the Gryffindor tower, his mind racing.

"Venomous Tentacular," he hissed at the Fat Lady, who was asleep in her portrait. "Quite so," she said sleepily, and swung forwards without opening her eyes, therefore not noticing that Sirius was still concealed under the cloak. He stepped into the empty common room and ripped off the cloak, folding it up small as he made his way up the steps to the dormitory.

James, Remus, Peter and Frank were all still fast asleep, just as he'd left them. Sirius hurriedly stashed the cloak back in James' cabinet and crawled into bed, where he lay for a long time before his thudding heart and anxious thoughts would let him sleep.


	3. A Christmas Wish

**AN: As will become obvious in this chapter, I've taken a lot of artistic licence with what the process of becoming an animagus actually involves. I do not for a moment imagine that this is actually what JKR was envisaging. **

As November descended across the castle, the weather only got colder. This did not, of course, faze James, who was stung after his team's defeat by Slytherin and was training them with almost unprecedented ardour. Between Quidditch practices and his lessons, he could barely find time to torture Snivellus, although whenever an opportunity presented itself, he would grasp it with both hands. Equally, he continued to ask Lily Evans out at every available moment, though he was starting to get tired of being shot down.

With so much to concern him, it completely escaped James' notice that his best friend had become unusually surly and quiet. Sirius had thrown himself into the only distraction he could think of: focusing on becoming an animagus.

Unfortunately, the process was not going well. Sirius had read every book he could on the subject and was none the wiser - nowhere could he find anything resembling instructions on how to perform the difficult magic. Eventually he decided that the best way forwards would be to get out of the castle and try some experiments. He would have preferred to have James with him, but James was constantly busy. Peter was useless and Remus, despite the fact that it was all for his sake, was beginning to have second thoughts about the idea.

"It's dangerous, Sirius," he said, when Sirius asked for his help. "And illegal. I think you should give it a rest."

Sirius, of course, was not one to give up on anything, ever, and the fact that what he was trying to do was dangerous and illegal acted as an incentive rather than a deterrent. So one particularly cold morning, towards the end of November, he wrapped up warm and headed down to the lakeside, where he had alighted from the little magical rowing boat some four years previously.

There was a smattering of trees on the shore, creating quite a secluded spot. Sirius was confident that with the weather as viciously cold as it was, he would not be disturbed. He sat down at the foot of a tree, wincing as he felt the cold, hard ground beneath him, and pulled a book out of his robes. He found his wand as well, and began to flick through the book, to the passages he had underlined (Madame Pince would kill him). Biting his lip, he reread a section, then set the book aside and held up his wand.

"What are you doing?"

Sirius leapt up, swearing, and spun around. Rosa Glancy, of all people, was standing in the middle of the pathway leading down from the castle, looking at him quizzically.

"I… I was just…"

"Actually, never mind," said Rosa. "I don't need to know."

He hoped that with that she would leave, but she didn't. Instead she walked towards him.

"Why are you here?" snarled Sirius, aware that, frustratingly, colour was rising in his cheeks.

"I didn't make you tell me," she said calmly, and sat on the ground a few yards away from him, rummaging in her pocket for a book. "But since you ask, I often come here to read."

"But it's freezing!"

"Hasn't stopped you."

"But I'm…"

"Doing something you're not supposed to be? Yes, I guessed."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to." With that, she opened her book and buried her nose in it. Sirius stood in the clearing, speechless and unsure what to do next.

"Just carry on as if I'm not here," said Rosa, without looking up. She was searching her robes again, and pulled out her own wand. Sirius flinched. He wasn't sure what he was expecting her to do, but the sight of an armed snake set him instinctively on edge.

"Oh, calm down," said Rosa irritably, and she moved her wand in a sweeping motion, casting a wide circle over both of their heads and muttering something under her breath. Suddenly Sirius felt a steady warmth descend over him.

"How did you do that?"

"An acclimatisation charm. It alters the temperature of your surroundings to a comfortable level. Unfortunately it only works if you're stationary," Rosa explained, all without her eyes leaving her book.

Sirius didn't know how to respond. Despite himself he was grateful, but this didn't change his annoyance at the Slytherin girl's intrusion. Still, she didn't seem to be paying him much attention…

He settled himself down at the foot of the tree again. The book had recommended trying some simple transfiguration first, to "warm up," as it were. He scanned the ground for pebbles, and with a flick of his wand and a quiet mutter he transformed them into a pile of buttons. That was fine, but it was also easy, first-year stuff. He flicked his wand again and the buttons turned into small frogs, which sat, quivering and confused, upon the dirty ground.

He had successfully created a living thing, but now for something a bit bigger. Murmuring the right charm, he engorged the one of the frogs, and then, with a wave of his wand, he replaced the huge frog with a yapping terrier. With a final wave of his wand, the terrier transformed into a huge, shaggy black dog of indeterminate breed, which sat on its haunches and stared expectantly at Sirius.

"That's quite impressive."

Engrossed in his transfiguration, Sirius hadn't noticed Rosa setting aside her book. That wasn't all she had discarded; she had removed her coat, and was leaning back against the ground, supporting herself on her elbows. Sirius couldn't help but notice the swell of her small, pert breasts, which in that position were thrust upwards slightly. As soon as he had noticed he was scolding himself. Who cared how good her filthy snake body looked?

"I thought you weren't watching," he snapped, trying to hide his embarrassment.

"I wasn't at first. But once that terrier started yapping you got harder to ignore." She nodded to the big, black dog. "He's nice, though, isn't he?"

"He is," Sirius conceded, in spite of himself. The dog had a hauntingly human expression, and seemed to be waiting for him to do something.

Rosa stood up, and slowly approached the dog. She ran her hand through his shaggy coat, and he sat, very still, letting her.

"You made him out of a pebble?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Nothing. It just really is impressive."

"Yeah, well."

"Not what you were going for?"

"Not exactly," Sirius admitted, not knowing why he didn't just leave, and put an end to this ridiculous conversation.

"He has your eyes," she observed vaguely.

Sirius swallowed hard. "I hadn't noticed."

"Yes you had." She dealt him a piercing look. "I know what you're trying to do."

"You do?" He gulped in spite of himself.

"You're trying to make a target form."

"A what?"

"A target form. You know, like a blueprint."

"I don't know what you…"

"A target for you to transform yourself into. You're trying to become an animagus."

"I've never heard of a target form," Sirius told her truthfully. It wasn't mentioned in any of the books he'd read.

"Really? You haven't researched this very well, have you?"

"Why would I have? I don't know why you think I'm trying to become an animagus," said Sirius, trying to summon a derisive sneer. "It would be dangerous. And illegal."

"Somehow I think that would make the idea more inviting, to you," said Rosa coolly. "Still, if you don't want my help…"

She backed away, and bent to retrieve her book from the floor.

"How could you help me?" The scorn came more easily this time.

"I had a chat with McGonagall about the whole thing. Took me a while to get her to tell me, I could only do it after convincing her I was only asking out of curiosity and not so I could become one."

"Were you?"

"Was I what?"

"Only asking out of curiosity?"

"Of course."

Sirius wasn't sure whether he believed her, but he didn't press further. If nothing else, his pride would not allow him to seek help from a snake. He was already irritated that she had given him the pointer she had.

Rosa had sat down on the ground again, flicking back through her book. Sirius debated what to do. He didn't want to continue with his experiments in front of her, if only because he didn't want her to see that he really didn't have a clue what he was doing. On the other hand, if he really did need a target form, he quite liked the idea that this dog was it. It really did have his eyes.

The question was what to do with the dog if he left now.

Sirius reached out absent-mindedly and scratched the dog under the chin. It stared up at him with doleful eyes.

"Alright, Snuffles?" said Sirius, hardly aware he was speaking aloud.

Rosa gave a snort. "Snuffles?"

Sirius looked up, annoyed with himself. "What?"

"Never mind." She surveyed him over the top of her book. "You know he'll turn back into a pebble at some point, don't you?"

Sirius scowled. "I know."

"I mean, it's good transfiguration, but nothing's permanent."

"Yes, I know!" Sirius was getting truly annoyed. The more the dog looked at him, the more he wanted it to stay as it was indefinitely.

"Which does, of course, make him eminently portable," observed Rosa casually.

Sirius realised with a pang of irritation (and something else? Could it be gratitude?) that she had just solved his dilemma. He flicked his wand and the dog transformed back into a pebble. Feeling a little ridiculous, he picked up the pebble and slipped it into his pocket. Gathering up his book and wand, he rose to leave.

"See you, Sirius," said Rosa, without looking up.

For a moment, Sirius wanted to say goodbye to her too. But then he reminded himself that even if she had just given him more help in his pursuit than the entire library put together, she was still a snake, still the enemy, and he did not exchange casual greetings with snakes.

So instead he gave a grunt, and trudged off. As he reached the perimeter of the acclimatisation charm, a sudden chill descended on him, and he shivered as he walked away.

x-x-x-x-x

James was returning from Quidditch practice late that same evening, frozen to the core, when he turned the corner into the Fat Lady's corridor and found Lily Evans, apparently deep in argument with Snape. Neither of them spotted him and James backed up, retreating round the corner to eavesdrop.

"You know I don't like you hanging around with them, Sev."

"What, other Slytherins?" Snape's voice was menacing. "You're as bad as Potter."

"Not because they're Slytherins!" Lily protested angrily. "You know I don't give a damn about that. But they're all just waiting to join You-Know-Who, aren't they? And surely you can see why I have a problem with that?"

"You don't have to worry about the Dark Lord." Snape's voice was softer now.

"Yes I do, Sev. I'm a mudblood!"

Around the corner, James clenched his fists, suddenly furious. Snape's voice hardened again. "Don't call yourself that."

"Why not? They do, don't they? Avery and Mulciber and Rosier and Wilkes."

"Not when they know I can hear them." Snape seemed to be struggling to contain himself.

"And you think they don't behind your back? Sev, how can you be so naïve?"

"How can you not trust me?" Snape's voice was still quiet, but something in him seemed to have snapped. Suddenly James realised that footsteps were approaching him, and before he had time to pretend he wasn't listening in Snape rounded the corner, catching him off-guard. Snape spat in his face. "Enjoy that, did you, Potter?"

James was not thrown for long. "Immensely, Snivellus. About time she saw you as the snake you really are."

Snape didn't reply, but his expression said it all. James thought he was about to spit on him again, but instead Snape swept off down the corridor, leaving James to run after Lily, wiping the other boy's saliva from his face as he did so.

As it was, she hadn't moved. She was standing in front of the Fat Lady's portrait, looking as stunned as if Snape had slapped her. James knew instinctively that she hadn't overheard his own exchange with the snake.

He strode purposefully to her, allowing his features to melt into an expression of intense concern. "You okay, Lily?"

He reached out his arms, intending to envelope her in a hug; for once she looked like she might actually succumb. His hope was misplaced, however. As he approached she took a sudden step back, a scowl shadowing her face. "Get off me, Potter. What gives you the right to touch me?"

James' own features hardened. "Have it your way, Evans. If you're going to let the snake break your heart it's no concern of mine."

And he snapped the password at the Fat Lady and stepped inside, leaving her alone in the corridor, defeated and shaking with rage.

James burst angrily into the Common Room and found Sirius, Remus and Peter sitting in armchairs around the fire. Remus' nose was buried in _A History of Magic,_ a book James had never bothered to read since he lived next door to its now somewhat senile author, and she had spent many an evening babysitting trying to get him to sleep with bedtime stories from its pages. The technique had always been remarkably effective. Peter was trying unsuccessfully to transfigure a button into a beetle (he had succeeded in causing it to sprout four spindly legs), and Sirius was staring moodily into the fire.

Sirius' evident gloominess irritated James to an unreasonable extent. "What've you got to be so miserable about?" he snarled at his friend.

"I could ask you the same question," Sirius spat back with unexpected vitriol.

Remus sighed and closed his book as Peter, struck with sudden anxiety, dropped his wand with a clatter. "I think that's a record, even for you two. What's wrong with you both?"

His question was answered with regards to James when the portrait swung open and Lily Evans stumbled into the common room, her eyes brimming with tears. James looked away hurriedly, his face stony. She looked as if she might say something, but apparently thought better of it and hurried through the Common Room and up to her dormitory.

Remus rolled his eyes. "I don't know if these moves usually work on girls, James, but where Lily's concerned it might be time to try a different tack."

James flashed him a glare, but unusually, Remus didn't back down. "Go to bed, James." He reopened his book and submerged himself in it, not permitting any response.

James, stunned, glanced at Sirius. Normally he would have expected Sirius to leap to his aid, even after an argument – however much the two might bicker, they always presented a united front when challenged by the rest of the world. The other boy, however, had returned to staring sullenly into the fire.

Peter, of course, was more willing to offer his support. While he adored both Sirius and James, his loyalty would always be to the latter. "Give James a rest, Remus, I'm sure it was Evans' fault…"

James hesitated, trying to decide how to regain control of the situation. Then he decided he simply couldn't be bothered. Resigned to the fact that the evening was a lost cause, he traipsed up to the dormitory, realising with a sinking feeling that Peter, who evidently thought he was trying to make a statement by storming off, was scampering after him.

Once the other two had disappeared, Remus looked up from his book and turned to Sirius. "By the way, James is a prat but you're just as bad. What's wrong with you tonight?"

Sirius just shrugged. Remus' brow furrowed. Normally something that antagonistic would have elicited a far more explosive response.

He closed his book again. "I'm going to the library," he announced, not really expecting a reply. Then he noticed that Sirius was holding something small and grey in his left hand, playing with it as it flitted about his fingers. "Sirius, what's that?"

Sirius looked up at him as if he couldn't really see him. He opened his fist to reveal a small pebble. "Snuffles," he said, simply.

Remus blinked at him. "Of course," he said, unable to think of anything else. Casting a worried frown over his friend, he turned to leave the Common Room.

"Remus?"

He turned back. "Yes, Sirius?"

Sirius had turned away from the fire and was frowning at him, but Remus could see in his eyes that his mind was miles away. After a long pause, Sirius gave his head a little shake. "Never mind." With that, Sirius turned his back on Remus, and went back to staring into the fire, the pebble dancing over his long fingers.

Remus, thoroughly confused and not entirely unconcerned, left.

Sirius was now alone in the Common Room. He sat for a long time, staring at the pebble.

x-x-x-x-x

It seemed that James had truly blown things with Lily. In Potions next morning she walked straight past him without even bothering to throw him a contemptuous glance. If you had asked James a few days before, he would have said that this could only be a good thing, but when she slunk by on her way to join Snape, she looked suddenly smaller and more vulnerable than she ever had before. James realised that he had really upset her, and knew that this would be harder to recover from than all the times he had made her angry.

"The way I see it, at least it shows she cares enough about you to get upset when you're cruel to her," said Remus, who had noticed that James was spending more time staring at Lily than on his Strengthening Solution.

James knew that Remus meant well, but he didn't really want to talk about it. What he really wanted was for Sirius to insult Lily, so that he could agree and channel his energy into disliking her, instead of focusing on his intense sense of guilt. Unfortunately Sirius, whilst showing no signs of being angry with James any longer, had barely spoken all day, and was working on his potion with unusual intensity.

To make matters worse, James could see that Snape didn't seem to be talking to Lily either. She was sitting staring miserably into her cauldron, as Snape doodled in his textbook, something he seemed to do a lot. Normally James would have been delighted to see Snape so cool with Lily, but today he would have liked to see at least one person show her some sort of kindness.

Slughorn had apparently noticed that his favourite pupil was upset, as he was fussing around her like Peter was accustomed to doing for James. James suspected that this was doing nothing to make Lily feel better. Slug's attentions, while well-meaning, were usually misplaced and tended to make his chosen few ridicule rather than respect him.

Remus was observing both of his best friends with increasing concern. James seemed uncharacteristically dejected, completely failing in his usual habit of bouncing back from whatever the world threw at him. He even seemed to be feeling guilty, a concept usually so alien to him that Remus worried he would be completely unable to cope with it. But at least the source of James' misery was identifiable; Sirius' behaviour was even more bizarre, and completely without explanation. Remus wondered what had happened to the pebble, and why on earth his friend had referred to it as "Snuffles." He sincerely hoped that this lunacy would subside quickly, and that he wouldn't be forced to go along with Sirius' apparently keeping a piece of rock as a pet.

As for Peter, his world had clearly been shattered by James and Sirius' row and subsequent preoccupation. The poor kid didn't seem to know which way was up, and his eyes flitted nervously from one to the other, waiting for the leadership he so desperately needed. It occurred to Remus that, as the only rational thinker left of the group, he was by default the top dog for now. As the cliché formed in his mind he smiled wryly at its inappropriateness.

Speaking of which, he reflected, there would be a full moon tonight. Quite literally top dog, then.

x-x-x-x-x

As the full moon came and went, Sirius was annoyed by his persistent failure to complete the process and become an animagus. He wondered how many more months Remus would have to endure alone before he, James and Peter could join him, and resolved to make it as few as possible.

With this in mind, he spent more and more time by the lake. He would carry the pebble Snuffles out with him, and transform it into the shaggy black beast. He no longer needed to do so in stages, like the first time; Snuffles would appear in his true form, as Sirius had come to think of it, after a single wave of his wand.

One thing bothered Sirius, which was that he had never consciously tried to create Snuffles the first time he had done so. When he had transfigured the terrier, he had been distracted – he tried to tell himself it was not by the swell of Rosa's chest – and not picturing the end result. Snuffles had sprung into being without encouragement or planning. And yet, Sirius knew instinctively, he was perfect.

Unfortunately, once he had summoned Snuffles, he had no idea what to do next. He would spend hours shivering on a frozen tree stump (he had never mastered Rosa's acclimatisation charm) staring at the dog, wondering what his next step should be.

This was how Rosa found him a few days before the school broke up for Christmas. The snow had started to fall, and flakes the size of galleons were whipping around his face. He didn't hear her approach, too distracted by the depth of Snuffles' baleful gaze.

"Can you still not turn into him yet?" she asked, and he looked up, startled. "What do you mean?"

"Still pretending that's not what you're trying to do?" she sneered. "Fine. Don't let me disturb you."

She cast the acclimatisation charm and Sirius was sincerely grateful for the sudden warmth, though of course he would never have said so. He was feeling increasingly silly, sitting on his tree stump staring at the dog. He knew he wouldn't get anywhere today. With a sigh, he waved his wand and Snuffles shrunk back into a cold, hard stone.

He realised suddenly that Rosa was standing over him, a few feet away. As he met her eyes he found himself unable to look away. Her gaze was quite as captivating as Snuffles'.

She approached slowly, almost as if he was a wild animal she was scared might suddenly leap at her. In truth he wasn't sure he could have moved if he'd wanted to. Come to that, he wasn't sure whether he wanted to move or not.

She knelt on the ground in front of him, so that her face was level with his. "Tell me honestly, Sirius," she said quietly. "Do you really not want to be able to turn yourself into Snuffles? Are you telling me that if you had one wish, that's not what it would be?"

Sirius, without planning to do it, or even knowing what he was about to do, leaned forward and kissed her.

He had never kissed a girl before, and he knew instinctively that he was doing it too roughly. Their lips collided rather than met, and he felt her withdraw by a minuscule amount, as though he had hurt her. The sting of rejection momentarily crushed him, but then he realised that she was just pulling back, not away, and she was kissing him in return. Her movements were gentler than his had been, and he slowed his pace to match hers, aware only of the tingling sensation as her lips brushed against his.

The kiss lasted only moments, but to Sirius it felt like a lifetime. A she pulled away, she was smiling, but Sirius felt as though his whole world was crumbling around him and his expression made this obvious. Strangely the mixture of confusion, horror and pleasure she saw in his face only seemed to amuse her, and she chuckled softly.

"Or maybe you'd wish for something else," she mused quietly, before jumping up, grabbing her bag, and running away up the path to the castle.

Sirius remained perched on his tree stump, his heart and mind both racing. He couldn't decide whether what had just happened was the most bizarre and confusing development imaginable, or something he'd been waiting for from the moment he laid eyes on Rosa on his first day of school. Too many thoughts and feelings were coursing through his mind for him to consider now; if nothing else, with Rosa's departure the acclimatisation charm was quickly disintegrating and the snow was beginning to fall around him again. Sliding Snuffles the pebble back into his pocket, he gathered himself and trudged slowly back up to Hogwarts. He didn't want to go too fast lest he should bump into Rosa. He had no idea what he would say to her if he did.


	4. Snuffles

**AN: In this chapter my imagination ran away with me a bit while I was formulating the process for becoming an animagus. I would apologise but the results were quite amusing.**

As the weeks had passed, the tension between James and Lily had alleviated a little. In fact, she had returned almost to her usual defiant self, but James was sure he detected an insecurity that had not been there before whenever she glowered at him. Her glares were less frequent, too – she only cast one his way when she truly could not avoid meeting his eyes.

She and Snape, on the other hand, seemed to have reconciled thoroughly. This grated on James like nothing else. She had forgiven Snape for aspiring to join You-Know-Who's followers, but couldn't find it in her heart to forget a few harsh words from him.

As James forced himself to set these worries aside, he had become gradually more and more aware of the fact that had been bothering Remus for some time; Sirius was not himself at all. He seemed alternately dozy and restless, and was growing increasingly irresponsive. James had invited him home with him for Christmas, but Sirius, for reasons he had not explained, had chosen to stay at the castle for the holidays. James tried not to feel hurt by this. He knew there was never any chance of Sirius returning to his home in London, but for the past few years he had come back with James to the Potters' for Christmas, not to mention Easter and huge chunks of the summer. James knew that his parents were delighted that James had, of his own volition, had found the brother they had never been able to give him, and Sirius likewise had embraced the Potters as a family he could actually love.

This Christmas, however, Sirius was choosing to stay put, and the more James thought about it, the more it bothered him. Sirius was not one for heart-to-hearts, but he was not good at concealing his feelings either, and anything that was bothering him would usually burst out quite quickly. The idea that Sirius was keeping a secret from him upset James more even than Lily avoiding his eye.

Unfortunately, James never had the chance to confront Sirius on the issue, because almost as soon as he had noticed that something was up, he, Remus and Peter were being bundled onto the Hogwarts Express down to London, and Sirius was still in the Gryffindor Common Room, engrossed in his own thoughts.

He hadn't spoken to Rosa since the kiss. They had had one last class together, Potions, during which he had tried very hard not to look at her, unsure himself of how he would react if they made eye-contact, much less if she had smiled at him or otherwise tried to communicate. Even so, he had been unable to stop his eyes flickering in her direction, however momentarily. She never looked at him once, or at least not as far as he noticed.

Remus, however, had spotted that his friend looked over at Rosa nearly as often as James looked over at Lily. And he had noticed too that Rosa, unlike Lily, was looking back.

Remus had wondered whether he ought to say something to Sirius, but there hadn't been much time before breaking up and he knew Sirius wouldn't want him bringing it up in front of James. So Remus, too, sat on the Hogwarts Express thinking about his friend alone at the castle, and wishing there had been time to ask a few questions.

Peter, meanwhile, bumbled onto the train vaguely aware that all was not right, but hoping that natural order would be restored soon, more for his own sake than for that of his friends.

Sirius had made up his mind that by the time his friends returned to school, he would be an animagus. He had made leaps and bounds, largely thanks to Rosa, that he had not yet shared with the others, and was reluctant to do so as he did not wish to share the source of his information. If he mastered it over the holidays while they were all at home, he could pretend to have figured it out all by himself.

With James, Remus, Peter and Frank all gone home for the holidays, Sirius had the dormitory to himself. He was grateful for this, as the snow was still falling thick and fast and he really had no desire to traipse down to the lakeside in this weather. With Gryffindor Tower almost empty, however, he could conduct his experiments in the comfort of his own room.

Snuffles, of course, had only ever been Snuffles at the lakeside spot. Although he had passed many hours in the dormitory, this was always in pebble form. Sirius thought he saw confusion in the dog's eyes when he first materialised in the red and gold room, but he seemed comfortable enough there.

Unfortunately, Sirius was unable to make much progress. He didn't really know what he was supposed to be doing next, so all he could think of to do was stare at the dog and will himself to take the same form; an endeavour in which he consistently failed.

Christmas Day dawned bright and clear, the first day in two weeks when it hadn't snowed. Sirius spent most of the morning in the dormitory with Snuffles. Very few people had chosen to stay behind this year – as You-Know-Who gained power, parents were becoming keener and keener to have their children at home with them whenever possible – so there was no one else in the castle with whom he wished to spend time. He did, at least, awake to a pile of presents at the foot of his bed, albeit a somewhat meagre one: a Muggle book on motorcycles from Remus, some chocolate frogs from Peter, and a little silver pocket watch from James. His family, as usual, had sent nothing.

As the afternoon dragged on, Sirius decided that he clearly wasn't getting anywhere and would be better off joining the few remaining students and staff in the Great Hall for Christmas dinner. Resignedly he returned Snuffles to pebble form, shut him away in the drawer of his bedside cabinet, and set out for the Great Hall.

He realised as he walked in that there were so few students present, they had decided to use the top table only. Teachers and students sat alongside one another, and as Sirius walked in, Dumbledore beamed up at him. "Sirius! Glad you could join us. Do come and sit down, there's a space next to Miss Glancy…"

Sirius started. He had had no idea that Rosa was still in the castle. With so few people left, the house elves had been bringing food directly to the Common Rooms rather than having everyone gather in the Great Hall, so he had had no chance to notice her. And now here he was, being waved into a chair right next to her.

He sank into the seat, not daring to look at her. He found himself replaying the scene by the lake in his mind. She had definitely kissed him back, and smiled as she left. But on the other hand, she _had_ left. And she had ignored him in Potions the next day. And she had ignored him ever since. And he had ignored her ever since, come to that.

"Roast potatoes?" she said sweetly, and he looked up to see her proffering the dish, and smiling. That could only be positive, he thought; but on the other hand, this was hardly the time or place to talk about anything.

He had, of course, been thinking about her a lot. Unable to confide in his friends, he had resorted to telling Snuffles about their encounter, and everything else. Snuffles, obviously, had been less than helpful, but on the other hand it had been useful to mull things over, and try to get them straight in his own head.

On a basic level, he had concluded, as Snuffles listened dutifully, he was attracted to her. She was tall and slim, softly curved in all the right places, with a gleaming mane of fiery red hair – of course she was attractive physically. Then there was her mystique, her detachment from those around her, and her quiet confidence when she spoke to him. Despite his aggression she had never been fazed, and he had never met anyone else who, when met with his hostile gaze, had been able to hold it. Even James, on the rare occasion he attracted it, had to look away. In truth he was fascinated by her, and even alone in his dormitory he had wished he could kiss her again. Sitting beside her now, pretending to feel nothing, was driving him wild.

And yet. And yet, and yet, and yet.

She was a snake. There was no getting away from it, and every pore of his body was disgusted by the fact. His friends would be appalled. His family would be delighted, and that thought was even more of a deterrent.

Although she didn't hang around with the little gang of miniature Death Eaters. Perhaps she wasn't all snake, he thought desperately.

After all, the Sorting Hat had taken a long time over her.

And he had his own reasons not to entirely trust the hat's judgment.

All these thoughts past through his head in a matter of moments, then he remembered that she had asked him a question. "Thanks," he managed, as he accepted the plate of potatoes. He served himself, then made a stab at casual conversation. "I didn't know you were still here," he said, reaching across the table and helping himself to parsnips.

"Mum and Dad went to visit my aunt in Australia," she explained. "They're coming home tomorrow, and I'll join them then."

"Oh." Sirius had just about exhausted his capacity for small talk. He was painfully aware that her thigh was resting inches away from his own.

"Why are you here?"

"I don't really get on with my family." He didn't want to talk about it, but he couldn't bring himself to lie to her and invent a totally different reason, either.

"I see." She didn't pursue the topic, turning instead to converse with Professor Flitwick on her other side. Sirius occupied himself with his plate, wondering what he was supposed to do now. The idle chatter was frustratingly empty and meaningless. He wanted to get up and leave, taking her with him, so he could talk to her properly, tell her…

Tell her what, exactly?

"Pass the sprouts," she piped up, snapping him out of his reverie. He obliged, careful not to let his hand brush against hers as he handed them over. He wasn't sure he could take the touch of her skin against his right now.

The meal passed in absolute agony for Sirius. Maddeningly, Rosa did not seem remotely fazed by the situation. She chattered amiably to those seated around her, largely ignoring Sirius. Sandwiched between her and Joshua Reader, a shy, mousey Hufflepuff first-year, Sirius found himself willing the meal to end quickly. He wanted to be back in his dormitory with Snuffles, hiding from the rest of the world and one person in particular.

Finally, after what felt like several lifetimes, Dumbledore rose to leave. Twinkling at them all as he departed, he swept out of the Great Hall, followed by the rest of the staff. Only a dozen students were left, and as soon as the door had closed behind Professor Flitwick, and Professor Binns had drifted through them after the rest, Sirius too was getting up to go.

To his surprise, Rosa sprang up just as quickly, and he realised that she had been watching him, awaiting his lead. Silently cursing the flush that he could feel spreading across his cheeks, Sirius gestured goodbye to the other students and hurried out, trying not to make eye-contract with anyone. He could hear Rosa's light footsteps behind him, and his heart began to thud so hard he was sure the whole room must be able to hear it.

He held the door open for Rosa, his head awkwardly bowed as she swept past, and followed her out. To his surprise, she stepped across the Entrance Hall to the main doors, and pushed the left-hand door open before turning and looking expectantly back at him.

Suddenly unable to speak, Sirius followed her, wordless and obedient. He was not remotely surprised when she led him down the path to the lakeside. A flurry of snowflakes had started up again, whipping through her red hair. Sirius wished he had wrapped up a little warmer, and hoped that when they reached the bank, she would cast her acclimatisation charm before trying to talk to him about whatever it was, exactly, she wanted to talk about.

She didn't do either.

Rosa turned to face him abruptly, yards away from the tree stump where they had shared their first kiss. Slowly, carefully, she slid her arms around his waist, her eyes never leaving his. Sirius responded automatically, wrapping his own arms around her back and pulling her close. She felt so small in his arms, and he could feel that she was shivering. So was he, but he tightened his hold on her, hoping to warm her up. Her face was inches from his and Sirius bent down to meet her lips. He forgot where he was, even who he was, aware only of her soft, warm mouth and the anticipation that it would soon be against his.

Then something so bizarre happened that Sirius would never in a million years have been able to describe it to anyone, even if he had wanted to, and Rosa gave a little scream.

At first he thought he had fallen over, as he was suddenly looking up at Rosa from some way below her, as if on his hands and knees. But that wasn't right, because if he had been on his hands and knees he would have been able to feel the cold, hard ground against his calves and palms, and he couldn't. In fact, he didn't feel cold at all anymore.

Rosa had taken several steps back, her face as white as a sheet. She seemed to have regained some degree of control, however, as she sank down onto the tree stump, a weak smile forced onto her face. "Hello, Snuffles."

And suddenly Sirius realised what had happened. Somehow – Merlin only knew how – he had done it. In the one moment when nothing could have been further from his mind, he had become an animagus.

Then a terrible thought struck him. Since he didn't know how he had become Snuffles, how could he become Sirius again?

Rosa held out a hand, and Sirius instinctively went to nuzzle against it. _That's odd,_ he thought, _it's like I really am thinking like a dog._ She looked partly fascinated, partly horrified by what was happening. Sirius was struck by a strong desire to be human again, and before he knew it, just like that, he was.

Sirius stared into Rosa's aghast face and couldn't help himself. He was bent double with peals of uncontrollable, almost hysterical laughter. She stared at him for a few moments, then began to chuckle weakly herself.

"That was a mean trick," she said, as Sirius regained some sort of control over himself. "I didn't know you'd managed it."

"Neither did I!" Sirius told her excitedly. "That was the first time, and I wasn't even trying."

"Can you do it again?"

"I don't know." His brow furrowed. What if it really had been a one off? "I don't even know how I did it the first time."

"Try it," she said, a commanding note in her voice. Sirius did try. He remembered how it had felt to be Snuffles, concentrating very hard on that and nothing else.

The world mutated again, as Sirius shrunk down into the form of the great, shaggy black dog. Rosa still looked nervous, he thought from somewhere near her knees, and he looked up at her reassuringly. She laughed in spite of herself, and Sirius realised that when he was a dog, his "reassuring" look involved widening his eyes and letting his tongue loll comically from his mouth. He lifted a paw and cuffed her playfully. Somehow it didn't bother him when she laughed at him as a dog, though he was sure it would if he was shaped as himself.

She bent down to rub his head, smiling down at him. Sirius made his eyes widen, a real puppy dog stare as she fussed over him. She rolled her eyes. "All right, you daft mutt. Back to human form, I think."

Sirius obliged, and within a second was standing before her, a sixteen year old boy again. Alongside his human form, all his human anxieties and insecurities returned, as he remembered that standing in front of him was a girl he had once kissed, and very much wanted to kiss again.

Fortunately, Rosa seemed to have had the same idea, as her arms snaked around his neck. He reciprocated, gently laying his lands on her slim waist. "I just have one question," she murmured, as he lowered his mouth to meet hers. He hesitated, suddenly more terrified than he had ever been. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the question. What if she was about to stop him from kissing her?

"Are you going to turn into a dog every time you try to kiss me?"

He grinned, relief flooding through him. "I hope not," he whispered. "Maybe we should find out."

She leaned into him, standing on tiptoes to reach his face. Their lips brushed together softly, barely touching. Sirius tightened his grip, wrapping both arms around her so that she was pressed against him, and she moved her hands to lie on either side of his face, so that he couldn't have pulled away, even if the thought to do so had ever crossed his mind. Sirius increased the pressure on her mouth, so that their lips locked together. He never wanted to let her go.

He became aware that his lips were dry and chapped with the cold, and this worried him, because hers felt so soft and perfect despite the weather. Very slowly and carefully, he parted his lips ever so slightly, and licked them, hoping to return some moisture to them.

She must have felt his tongue, because suddenly her mouth was opening too, and she let his tongue slide into her mouth. Sirius, taken aback by the sudden new sensation, hesitated, running his tongue slowly over the inside of her lips but unwilling to go any further. Her tongue met his, and his retreated at the pressure, which had startled him. But she followed him, and her tongue was in his mouth, slowly exploring. He could taste her, warm and soft, and it was the most delicious thing he had ever savoured, better even than Hogwarts Christmas dinner.

Then suddenly she pulled away. He tried to follow her but their mouths came apart, and Sirius allowed his eyes to open, unable to remember when he had closed them.

Her eyes were still closed, and as their foreheads rested against each other he scanned her face for clues. She looked happy, which was a relief, but there was something else, something akin to worry, that hit him with such force it almost broke his heart.

"What's the matter?" he murmured, dreading the answer.

She managed a small smile. "Nothing. Nothing, Sirius. I just…" She tailed off. Sirius moved his arms from her waist to grip her shoulders urgently. "You just what?"

"It's just… You hate snakes, Sirius."

Her words sent a chill through him that had nothing to do with the snow. "No," he protested, without even giving the matter a thought. "It doesn't matter. None of that matters."

"But it does, Sirius. Maybe not here, not right this moment. But it bothers you, doesn't it?"

"No!" he told her fiercely, and bent to try to kiss her again. Again she pulled away. "Sirius. Please. I don't want to be some dirty little secret you're ashamed of."

And in that moment, Sirius realised something. She had been playacting, all this time. She had avoided his eye for the same reason he had avoided hers. She had failed to speak to him at dinner because she had been scared of the hurtful things he might say. She was not cool, unconcerned, confident as he had thought. She was as frightened as he was.

He stared into her eyes, trying to make her see that he meant every word he said. "Rosa. I don't care. I really don't. I'll send owls to James and Remus and Peter tonight if you want me to. I don't care who knows about this, I don't care what anyone says, I don't care about any of it. Just… please, Rosa."

He silently pleaded with his eyes, unsure exactly what he was pleading for. She stared back, hunting his face for… Well, he didn't know what. He doubted she did either. But whatever it was, she found it. She leant up again and pressed her lips to his, and Sirius drank her in, consumed with relief.

x-x-x-x-x

Alone in his dormitory an hour later, Sirius lay on his bed with his eyes closed, reliving everything that had happened. He and Rosa had wandered the grounds for as long as they could bear the cold, before returning to the castle. On their way back, she had made a request which, given their earlier discussion, he had found strange.

As they reached the foot of the castle steps, she had laid a hand on his arm and he had turned to face her. "Let's not tell anyone yet, shall we?" she had said quietly. She had then looked around as if to check no one was watching before reaching up, pecking him on the cheek, and running up the steps into the castle.

Sirius didn't know why she wanted to keep this thing – whatever exactly "this thing" was – secret but he had not protested. After all, when it did come to be time to tell people, he was going to get some very varied reactions. Remus, he suspected, wouldn't be surprised. James would be unbearable at best and furious at worst, while Peter would take his lead from James. Lily would be as annoying as James, but in a different way; she would be smug rather than taunting. And if Regulus heard he was seeing a snake and told their parents – well, who knew. They might even be proud. The thought filled him with horror until he remembered that Rosa was Muggle-born. So his parents certainly wouldn't be proud - but that just raised a whole host of new problems that he would have to face up to someday.

And then, of course, there was the day's other big breakthrough. Sirius had almost forgotten, with everything else, that he was now a genuine animagus. As the thought remerged in his consciousness, he suddenly remembered Snuffles the pebble.

He sat up and leaned over to rummage in his bedside cabinet, pulling the little stone out. He set on the bed in front of him and waved his wand.

Nothing happened.

Try as he might, Sirius could not persuade the pebble to revert to the form of Snuffles. He managed a scarf, a goblet and a cat, no problem, but the huge black beast eluded him. In the end he set the pebble aside, disappointed.

He would miss Snuffles. The animal had become a friend, and Sirius was inescapably fond of the dog's huge eyes and gentle, calming demeanour.

But then he remembered that Snuffles hadn't gone. Snuffles could be there for him any moment he wanted him to be. A broad smile spread across Sirius' face for a moment, then morphed into a long, dark nose.

Snuffles the dog curled up on his bed contentedly, and he snuggled into the pillow, trying to get used to the sensation of his long tail tickling his nose. He fell asleep like that, tired and happy.

x-x-x-x-x

When Sirius awoke in the middle of the night, however, a worrying thought was nagging at the corners of his mind. In his animal state he couldn't quite get a hold on the thought, so he morphed back into himself. As soon as he was human again it hit him, hard. In a week, James, Remus and Peter would be arriving back at the castle. They would be impressed with his achievement, certainly; but they would want to hear the whole story, and know how to manage it themselves. How on earth could he tell them, without explaining about Rosa? He didn't even know how he had transformed, the first time. What was it that had made it possible? One thing was sure – he sure as hell wasn't letting either James or Peter seek to recreate his own transformation by kissing Rosa. Not for anything. Not that they'd be falling over themselves to try, anyway.

But what _was_ he going to do? What was he going to say?

There was only one person he could ask for advice; only one person who knew, who could know, what had happened. He sincerely doubted that she would be able to help him much, but she was all he had.

He rolled out of bed and found a spare piece of parchment and a quill. How on earth was he supposed to go about this? It was hardly a love-letter – he really needed her help. But at the same time, he couldn't phrase it purely as a request for help, could he? That would seem far too cold, which was the last thing he wanted to seem.

He didn't even know how to address it.

After many attempts and frustrated groans, he managed something which, whilst not perfect, he felt he could get away with sending.

_Dear Rosa,_

_I'm afraid I need your help already. I need to be able to explain to James and Peter how to become animagi. But I don't even know how I managed it, and I can't explain what happened without telling them about stuff we agreed we weren't going to talk about. What do you think?_

_Thinking of you,_

_Sirius_

He still wasn't sure about "Thinking of you." But he couldn't sign it with love, he was sure it was too early for that, and anything less seemed dismissive. It was the best he was going to come up with, anyway, so he folded the note, scrawled her name across it, and headed out of the dormitory through the common room, on his way to the owlery.

Sirius wasn't sure whether, in the holidays, he could still get in trouble for wandering around the castle in the dead of night. Either way, he felt very exposed without James' cloak, but the cloak was with its owner at his home in Hampshire. He let himself into the owlery and found Nox, his tawny owl. Nox seemed pleased to see him. He was alone in the owlery apart from the school owls, which Sirius had always suspected of being a little haughty. He gave Nox a quick tickle and an owl treat, before dispatching him with the note for Rosa. With no reason to hang around in the owlery, he then hurried back to the Gryffindor and settled into an uneasy sleep.

He was woken a few hours later by the sound of Nox tapping against the dormitory window. The sun was peeping up over the lake, casting a soft pink glow over the snow. Sirius welcomed Nox in, and took the note the owl proffered, throwing Nox another treat to keep him happy.

_Sirius,_ read the note,

_I don't know how long this poor bird has been sat on my windowsill, apologise to him. Also, call that a love letter, you toad?_

_I don't really know what to tell you, Sirius. You said you weren't trying to become Snuffles, so what were you thinking about? Obviously I sort of know (I hope!) but exactly, what was it?_

_And why do you need to tell James and Peter anyway? What are the three of you up to? And why is Remus being left out? Too good to go along with your plans?_

_Rosa_

Sirius read the letter three times, then dashed for some fresh parchment.

_Dear Rosa,_ he scrawled,

_Apologies. You are just too wonderful and beautiful for me to find the right words to tell you on paper._

_I'm really sorry but I can't tell you why we need to become animagi. Maybe one day, but it's not my secret to share just now._

_But thank you, I think I've figured it out now._

_Your Sirius_

He hoped the "Your Sirius" wouldn't seem desperate. He just didn't want her thinking he was scared to acknowledge what was happening between them. He gave the note to Nox and sent him out into the dawn. The owl gave him a reproachful look before flying off.

It didn't take long before Nox was perched on his bedpost again, looking as though he was sincerely hoping to be allowed back up to the owlery. Sirius smiled as he read her note.

_Dear Sirius,_

_Worst. Excuse. Ever._

_And aren't we mysterious. All right, have it your way, but don't think you're going to get away with never telling me._

_Love to Snuffles,_

_Rosa_

He wasted no time with the reply, scrawling a single line on a scrap of parchment.

_When are you leaving?_

Nox resignedly carried the note off and Sirius paced the dormitory. The sun was well and truly up now, and he knew he wouldn't be getting back to sleep this morning. Instead he began to dress, eagerly awaiting Rosa's return owl.

He didn't have long to wait.

_10am. Floo network through Dumbledore's office._

Sirius didn't bother to reply. He let a relieved Nox take himself back up to the owlery and continued getting ready. The watch James had given him told him it was 7am. He didn't know where Dumbledore's office was, or exactly where the Slytherin Common Room was either, though he knew the latter was in the dungeons somewhere. He would therefore go and sit in the corridor leading down to the dungeons, waiting for Rosa to appear. He would surprise her and say goodbye in person. She would like that.

He knew she wouldn't be leaving for hours yet, but he didn't want to miss her, so he took Remus' motorcycle book and headed down to the dungeon corridor. He settled himself down on the floor, reasonably confident that no one would pass and discover him, and engrossed himself in the book.

He sat there for hours, undisturbed. Finally he heard footsteps, and Rosa emerged from a staircase at the end of the corridor.

"Hello, Snuffles," she said, apparently not remotely surprised to see him there.

He grinned, getting up off the cold stone floor. "Hello, you."

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you think?" He held his arms open for her and she stepped into them, laying her head against his chest. He held her close, resting his chin upon the top of her head.

"What were you thinking?" she asked indistinctly into his chest.

"What?"

"What were you thinking?" She pulled back to look at him. "When we… When you turned into Snuffles? The first time?"

He laughed. "Oh, that. The honest if boring answer is that I wasn't. I really wasn't thinking about anything. I think that's the secret. I think you have to just wait until sometime when you're not thinking of anything, and then it'll just happen."

"You weren't thinking anything?" She sounded disappointed, and he chuckled softly. "Let's say I was lost in the moment."

"That's so cheesy," she scolded, giving his chest a small shove. But he knew she wasn't really annoyed, so he bent down and kissed her softly.

She gave a little moan, then pulled back. "Careful. I might decide I don't want to leave."

"That's the idea," he said, and kissed her again. She kissed back this time, and after a moment he slid his tongue into her mouth, enjoying the damp warmth. They teased one another for a few moments, before she pulled away again. "I really do have to go."

"Okay." He didn't let go, swooping in for one last kiss. She let him, but then pushed him gently but firmly away. "I'll see you next week, Sirius."

"Let me walk you up to Dumbledore's office."

"No, no, I'm fine." She leaned up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Go back to your Muggle book," she teased, and scampered away.

Sirius watcher her retreat, then sighed, and stooped to pick up the book. With James, Remus and Peter all at home, Snuffles gone forever and Rosa an unknown number of miles away, this week, he knew, could well be the longest of his life.


	5. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

As James, Remus and Peter alighted from their horseless carriage outside the castle gates, they were somewhat surprised to find Sirius waiting for them, beaming. The contrast with the sullen, distracted boy they had left behind two weeks ago could not have been greater, as Sirius greeted each of them with a crushing hug.

"What put you in such a good mood?" asked James, alarmed and, if he was honest, slightly resentful. He had been annoyed enough that Sirius had chosen to spend the holiday without him, and the fact that he seemed to have enjoyed the experience made the whole thing even worse.

"Come with me and I'll show you," Sirius told them mischievously, and led them all, not up to the castle, but down to the lakeside.

"Honestly, Sirius, this had better be good," grumbled James, shivering slightly. The snow had all but melted now, but it was still viciously cold, and a hostile breeze blew in off the lake.

"Yeah, Sirius," agreed Peter petulantly, always glad of the opportunity to show his undying support for anything James had to say.

"Oh, it is," Sirius replied, grinning, and when he was sure he had their undivided attention, he suddenly and without warning transformed himself into a huge, shaggy dog.

James swore loudly. Peter gabbled with excitement and praise, and Remus, looking half impressed, half deeply disapproving, folded his arms and tilted his head to one side. "I thought I told you to give that nonsense up?"

Sirius likewise tilted his head, giving Remus his best puppy-dog stare.

"Oh, cut that out," snapped Remus, but his eyes crinkled into a smile in spite of himself.

Sirius returned to human form and looked expectantly at his friends.

James was the first to speak. "I can't believe," he growled through gritted teeth, "You didn't write and tell me."

"Would you have believed me?"

"Of course I wouldn't."

"Well, then."

"How?" James was rummaging in his robes for his wand. "How do we do it?"

Sirius shook his head hurriedly. "It's too complicated to explain now. I'll show you another time. Soon, I promise."

"Get out of it," snapped James, his impatience clear. "Tell us now!"

Remus laid a hand on James' arm. "Sirius is right, James," he said consolingly. "It's cold and we're tired. You know this is difficult magic and now's not the time to try it."

Sirius flashed a grateful look at his friend. James deflated visibly. "Fine," he conceded, though his face was still thundery. "But tomorrow?"

"Yes," promised Sirius. "Tomorrow."

x-x-x-x-x

Early the next morning, the four friends snuck out of their dormitory, careful not to wake Frank, who would have been instantly suspicious. Frank knew enough of what the four of them got up to to imagine, not inaccurately, that what he knew was only the tip of the iceberg.

Sirius led his friends back down to the lakeside and cast the acclimatisation charm, which he had convinced Rosa to teach to him the day before she left for home. Remus raised an eyebrow, clearly wondering what the source was of this new magic, but James was too impatient, and Peter too excited, to be suspicious. Sirius perched on his tree stump and indicated for the others to sit on the bank in front of him. This annoyed James, as he knew it would – James liked to be the leader, and having to learn from Sirius was clearly grating on him.

"Okay, some of this is going to sound a bit stupid," Sirius announced, "But trust me on this." After a week alone in the castle, with just himself and his hairy alter-ego for company, he had planned his "lesson" to the very last word. "The first thing you need is a pebble."

"A pebble?" James snorted derisively, as Sirius had known he would.

"Yes, a pebble," he repeated patiently. "It's important, the pebble."

Peter had already obediently scrabbled on the ground for a pebble, and was clutching it in his chubby hand. James, with an expression that clearly said he thought this whole process beneath him, languidly selected one and lifted it up, slowly and deliberately, so that Sirius could see it. Remus, who of course needed no assistance to transform himself into a wild beast, was leaning against a tree, looking like he could barely restrain himself from laughing.

"Okay, so you need to warm up first. Just something really simple, like turning it into a button," Sirius informed his pupils. James gave a disgusted snort and did so with a flick of his wand. Peter screwed up his face in concentration, but managed on the first attempt, at least.

"Now something alive," said Sirius. "Something small, but alive."

Almost before he finished speaking, a white mouse was scuttling up and down James' arms and over his shoulders. It took a few minutes, but eventually Peter had a shiny black beetle sitting on his open palm. The beetle seemed rather sleepy, as it was making no attempt to run away – unlike James' mouse, which was going berserk.

"Okay, now just keep transfiguring," instructed Sirius confidently. "Play around, see what happens. Eventually it'll turn into something that just feels right."

Quicker than blinking, the mouse flashed through various forms: a swan, a cat, a mongoose, an armadillo, and finally…

"Well that's weird," said James, looking up at the majestic stag which stood serenely in front of him. "That's not what I was going for at all."

"Then that's it," said Sirius. "That's your target form."

"My what?"

"I'll explain in a minute."

All three turned now to watch Peter. His face was flushing scarlet, and his eyes looked as though they were about to pop out of his head. The beetle in his hand had become a worm, which was lying so still that Sirius wondered whether it was even alive.

"Maybe try something a bit bigger, Peter," encouraged Remus gently, from his vantage point.

Peter's face had collapsed into a crestfallen expression. "I can't," he said balefully.

"Sure you can," James told him impatiently. "Just try."

After a few more agonising minutes, the worm became a large, slightly grubby rat.

"That's not what I was trying for," said Peter dejectedly.

"Then that's perfect," said Sirius, trying not to laugh at the realisation that Peter was destined to spend the rest of his life transforming at will into a rat. "That's your animagus."

"Now I might have got the wrong idea somewhere," commented James sarcastically, "But I was under the impression that it was supposed to be us who turned into animals, not stupid lumps of stone."

"We'll get there," Sirius reassured him.

"When?"

"I don't know. Could take a while."

"How long?"

"Just bear with me James, okay?" Sirius was rapidly losing patience. He was suddenly coming to pity McGonagall, Flitwick and all the other poor teachers who had to put up with this sort of rubbish on a daily basis (albeit usually from Sirius himself). "So, the next thing is to be able to get straight from the pebble to the target form."

"You still haven't explained what a target form is."

"It's _that_, okay?" snapped an exasperated Sirius, jabbing his finger in the direction of the stag which was still standing in the middle of the clearing, surveying James with what Sirius liked to think of as haughty disdain.

James rolled his eyes, waved his wand, and the stag shrunk back down to a pebble. Peter tried to follow suit, and after three attempts, managed it. "Right," said Sirius, who was regaining some sort of self-control, "And back again."

The rat and the stag reappeared.

"So," said Sirius, "What's next is the difficult bit. And the long bit. You have to get to know your target form."

"What do you mean, get to know it?" James was making no attempt to hide his scepticism.

"Get to know it," Sirius repeated. "Look at it. Talk to it. Give it a name."

"Give it a _name_?"

"Snuffles!" exclaimed Remus suddenly, his eyes widening as he remembered the strange incident in the Common Room.

"Exactly," replied Sirius, grinning.

James looked from one to the other, bemused and frustrated. "And how long are we supposed to spend _getting to know_ them?" he asked, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

"As long as it takes," Sirius told him, enjoying the knowledge that this was not the answer James was looking for.

"As long as it takes for _what?_" James looked as though he was on the verge of lashing out at Sirius in frustration.

"Well, this is the hard bit. Because once you're ready – and you don't know when that'll be – it'll just happen."

"What do you mean, it just happens?"

"I don't know. All I know is that it'll only happen when you're not thinking about it. When you're not thinking about anything, really, except exactly what's happening in that precise moment. And definitely not about being an animagus."

James was looking thunderous, but Peter piped up with a question. "What do I call him?" he asked Sirius hopefully, holding up the rat.

"Wormtail," spat James spitefully, without looking at Peter.

"Wormtail," repeated Peter, who had clearly failed to register the vitriol in James' voice. "Okay. Wormtail."

The rat scampered backwards and forwards over Peter's lap as he watched it, fascinated. Sirius was amused to realise that Peter might actually make quicker progress on this step than James.

"Aren't you going to name him, James?" Sirius couldn't tell, when Remus spoke, whether he was trying to help, or whether he was privately laughing at all three of them and Sirius in particular. Just the idea that it might be the latter rankled, but he forced himself to ignore it.

James threw a vile look at Remus, but then his eyes went back to the stag and his expression suddenly softened. Sirius instinctively knew that James was finding the same sort of peace and comfort in the stag's expression that he had once found in Snuffles. The thought was accompanied by a quick, sharp jolt of painful nostalgia, but then he reminded himself that Snuffles was still around. In fact, since it would annoy James so much…

James' eyes darted away from the stag's and he swore loudly as his best friend disappeared and was replaced by a large, black beast of a dog. "Stop showing off," he snarled. Sirius just wagged his tail. After a few moments a small smile began to creep across James' face, despite his best efforts to keep it at bay. "All right, you dumb mutt, you win."

Sirius gave a bark of appreciation and returned to his usual form. "Okay, so the great thing is, you can turn Wormtail and… um…"

"Prongs," interjected James, with sudden resolve.

"…And Prongs to pebble form anytime you like. Which means you can take them up to the dormitory with you, and then bring them out when no one's around and you've got a bit of time."

"And in the meantime we just wait?" James still sounded far from satisfied.

"'Fraid so," confirmed Sirius. "I'm sorry, I really don't know how long it'll take."

"Oh well," said Peter cheerfully, "At least we what we're doing now. And I like him." He tickled his rat under the chin, before transforming it with relative ease back into a pebble.

James raised an eyebrow. "I guess," he conceded, and Prongs too shrunk back into his original form.

"Let's go, then," said Remus quietly, and the four friends began to traipse back towards the castle.

x-x-x-x-x

By the evening, James was already out at his first Quidditch practice. Peter, having spent the afternoon whimpering over _Magical Draughts and Potions,_ had given up and gone to bed and Sirius and Remus were sitting in armchairs by the fire, as the rest of Gryffindor house chattered around them.

"I have a question," said Remus suddenly. Sirius closed the motorcycle book he'd been flicking through with a sense of foreboding. "Or two, actually."

"Go on then," said Sirius heavily, sure that whatever followed would not be good.

"How did you figure out how to…" Remus glanced around him, clearly aware that they were surrounded by people who they did not want to be overheard by. "Well. You know."

"Just experimenting, really," lied Sirius. "Two weeks on my own, you know…"

He could see in Remus' eyes that his friend didn't believe him, but Remus chose not to pursue the matter. "And what were you doing when you… You know, the first time?"

This was the question Sirius had really been dreading, and he had as yet been unable to think of a convincing lie. Fortunately, while the lie would have been necessary for James, it wasn't for Remus.

"Can't tell you, mate," he said quietly. "Not yet. I'm sorry."

Remus nodded slowly. "All right. I'll let it go for now."

Sirius felt a pang as he remembered the note from Rosa, saying exactly the same thing about (although she hadn't known it) Remus himself. "Thanks, mate."

x-x-x-x-x

On the way back from Quidditch practice, James abandoned the rest of his team and took a detour down to the lake. Shivering with the cold, he settled himself on the tree stump and took the pebble out of his pocket.

Within moments Prongs was standing before him, his majestic head slightly bowed so that their eyes were on a level. His gentle brown eyes were something of an anomaly, positioned as they were under those impressive antlers. James sat and stared at the beast, feeling increasingly foolish. If he hadn't seen Sirius transform into a dog with his own eyes, he would think this was all just some elaborate plot his friend had cooked up to make James look like an idiot. But the fact remained that Sirius had been the first to manage the difficult magic (and this annoyed James immensely, as he never liked to be beaten by anyone, on or off the Quidditch pitch), and James just had to trust that the other boy was giving them genuine help. After all, they were doing this for Remus, and Sirius wouldn't put their poor friend through another month alone… Would he?

"Would he?" he asked Prongs out loud. The stag tilted his head to one side slightly, his disarmingly expressive eyes boring into James' own. James had to look away. "Yeah, you're right," he muttered. He wasn't sure how, but the stag had reassured him that his faith in Sirius was not misplaced.

He tentatively held out a hand and Prongs, equally slowly, nuzzled into it. If James was honest with himself, he found the creature a little intimidating. Prongs was too proud and impressive; he made James feel small and powerless, never a sensation James enjoyed.

"Still, I'll be you, one day, won't I?" he muttered to the beast. "Or you'll be me. Or something. Maybe you're me already? Anyway," he continued, grinning suddenly, "We could crush that stupid dog, couldn't we?"

Prongs bucked his head, and James knew he was trying to express approval. He laughed, and scratched the stag's ear. "Come on. Time for bed."

He reduced Prongs to a pebble, and made his way back to the Gryffindor Common Room. It was empty apart from Frank and Alice, who were curled up in a single armchair by the fire. Alice seemed to have fallen asleep. James felt a pang of envy, as the fantastical image of himself and Lily so entwined flashed across his imagination.

Feeling suddenly grumpy, he made his way up to the dormitory, where he found Sirius, Remus and Peter all already in bed. Peter bounced up immediately as James came in. "How was practice?"

"Fine," grunted James irritably, and proceeded to get ready for bed. He managed to phase out their idle chatter, until Sirius suddenly barked "Peter! What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing?"

James spun around to see that Peter's rat, Wormtail, was scampering over the duvet.

"Do you not get it? This is a secret, Peter!" Sirius looked furious. "And illegal. You can't let anyone see that thing. What if Frank walked in?"

"Relax, Sirius," said James exhaustedly. "Frank won't be coming up any time soon."

"Anyway, it's only a rat," Remus pointed out reasonably. "No one's going to notice a rat. It's not like having, I don't know, a massive dog in here, or a stag, or…"

"Letting your furry little problem loose in Gryffindor Tower," James finished for him, with a yawn. "Remus is right, Sirius. Let Peter play with his rat."

"His name is Wormtail," interjected Peter reproachfully, as the rat scrambled up his arm and perched on his shoulder. Both boy and rat fixed James with the same baleful look, and James couldn't help but laugh.

"Wormtail, right. Sorry."

He clambered into bed, then realised that Sirius was in the middle of writing what looked like a letter.

"Who're you writing to?" he asked, instantly suspicious. Sirius wasn't one for writing letters.

The other boy flushed. "Mother," he said unconvincingly.

"Your _mother?"_ James repeated incredulously. He didn't think Sirius had ever written to his mother in what was approaching four and a half years at Hogwarts.

"Yeah." Sirius clearly knew that no one was buying his lie, but did not seem willing to divulge the truth. James glanced at Remus, who was steadily avoiding everyone's eyes. He looked back to Sirius for a few moments, then gave up. "Your mother. Fine. If that's what you want me to believe."

He extinguished his bedside lantern and rolled over, so that his back was to his friends, and shut his eyes firmly, his mind in turmoil. He wasn't an animagus yet, but Sirius had managed it. Lily was ignoring him but he was being forced to watch members of his team – people who were supposed to look up to him – cuddling in armchairs. And to top it all, Sirius was hiding something from him, and yet seemed to have shared his secret with Remus. James, who had never doubted his position as top dog before, was beginning to feel increasingly unsettled.

_Still_, he thought, as Wormtail gave a little squeak behind him, _at least you'll always be a step ahead of Peter._ Then he remembered Prongs, with his commanding, majestic presence and undeniably intimidating antlers, and smiled to himself. If his animagus form didn't confirm him as leader of this particular pack, he didn't know what would.

x-x-x-x-x

Sirius dispatched his letter to Rosa first thing in the morning. He hadn't felt able to sneak out during the night to find Nox in the owlery – his friends were suspicious enough as it was. Instead he had got up early, muttered something about needing to talk to Alice about an essay for Muggle Studies, and hurried out of Gryffindor Tower.

He hoped that Nox would deliver the letter over breakfast. The idea of Rosa reading a secret letter from him surrounded by fellow students filled him with excitement; although it also made him nervous. He hoped none of the other snakes would try to read the letter over her shoulder, and that James, Remus and Peter would not notice Nox's visit to the Slytherin table.

Sirius settled with his friends at the end of the Gryffindor table nearest the door. Rosa was sitting about halfway down the Slytherin table, alone, reading that morning's _Daily Prophet._ Sirius tried not to look her way too often.

He couldn't stop himself, however, when the owls arrived. Sure enough, Nox was among them, and he swept down to where Rosa was sitting and dropped the letter directly into her cereal bowl. Sirius suspected this gesture was intended as revenge for the repeated trips back and forth from the Slytherin dormitories the other night.

Rosa looked up, evidently started, and took the dripping letter from the bowl. She opened it and read it contents, but Sirius was too far away to gage her facial expression as she did so. Whatever her thoughts as she read it, she whipped out her wand and performed what Sirius assumed was a drying charm before tucking it into her breast pocket.

Sirius looked away and realised that Remus was staring at him intensely. He knew instinctively that Remus had noticed Nox, and that he had been watching Sirius watching Rosa. Damn.

Fortunately, the other two didn't seem to have noticed. James was still in a foul mood, and Peter was trying to surreptitiously feed Wormtail with crusts of toast from his plate. Sirius wished the younger boy would stop playing with the rat in public. For all that Remus and James said that no one would noticed a rat, it made him skittish.

The morning passed uneventfully, and at lunchtime Sirius walked back from Muggle Studies with Alice to collect his potions books for the afternoon. He found a barn owl he had never seen before waiting for him, and eagerly retrieved the note it proffered. Rosa's reply was frustrating short.

_Sirius,_

_Don't use the tawny owl, people will know it's you writing. One day but not yet._

_Wait for me after Potions._

_Rosa_

Sirius screwed up the note and tossed it into the bin. He had no idea how he was going to abandon the others after Potions, but he also knew that he was going to manage it, come hell or high water.

x-x-x-x-x

James slunk into Potions, late. He had been down by the lake again, with Prongs. The stag was starting to irritate him. He didn't want to sit on that cold tree stump staring at the beast any more – he wanted to _be _Prongs.

He found his friends at the back of the class and hurriedly set up his cauldron. Remus was already preparing ingredients for his Draught of Peace. Peter was flicking anxiously through the textbook, clearly unable to even find the instructions. Sirius was crushing his porcupine quills into a fine powder in his mortar, whilst staring absently into the depths of his empty cauldron. James rolled his eyes, and opened up his own textbook. He found the directions and began to powder his ingredients.

One by one, the friends finished crushing ingredients and began to mix their potions. Peter was adding moonstone, his brow furrowed in concentration, when it happened.

There was a crash and James spun round to see that Peter had disappeared. The ladle he had been using to gradually add moonstone had fallen into his cauldron, and the potion flashed through a plethora of different colours before the cauldron exploded, showering green gunge and shards of pewter across James, Remus and Sirius.

It took James a few moments to realise what had happened. Peter, he understood with a stab of what could only be called fury, had been concentrating so hard on his potion that he had been in the exact state of blank distraction Sirius had described as necessary to transform into an animagus for the first time. He glanced under the table and saw a rat scurrying, startled, under Peter's stool, and knew he was right.

Sirius and Remus had clearly caught on too, and all three looked up, horrified, to see whether the rest of the class had noticed. Slughorn, who had been fussing over Lily as usual, had turned to stare in confusion at the mess. Snape, on Lily's left, was laughing openly. Lily was clearly trying very hard not to join in, but a small smile was betraying her, playing about the corners of her lips.

"What happened?" demanded Slughorn, bustling over.

"I dropped the ladle, sir," said Peter timidly, remerging from under the desk. James felt relief wash over him; to the rest of the class, it would simply look as though Peter had been knocked off his stool by the blast.

"How much moonstone did you throw in?" Slughorn asked incredulously, surveying the mess. "Actually, no, never mind. I don't want to know. Just get out of here. All four of you."

"But sir!" Remus, clearly terrified at the thought of being thrown out of a lesson, was the only one to protest. James was already gathering his things, as the resentment once again began to boil. Sirius beating him to being an animagus was bad enough, but Peter? This was just manifestly ridiculous.

Peter had scuttled out of the dungeon without being asked twice, but Sirius, bizarrely, looked just as reluctant as Remus to leave. Normally this would have bothered James – Sirius was always to first person to grasp any excuse to leave a lesson – but at that precise moment, he was consumed by his own concerns.

He stormed out of the dungeon, to find Peter waiting for him. He strode purposefully down the dungeon corridor, Peter hurrying along behind him, able to hear Remus and Sirius' steps as they brought up the rear.

Emerging into the Entrance Hall, James crossed it and threw open the front door. "Where are we going?" Peter asked anxiously.

"Quidditch Pitch," grunted James. He had realised, in the last few moments, what he needed to do.

"What?" Sirius sounded unimpressed. "Mate, have you gone mad?"

"Just come." James was too impatient to explain, already descending the steps out of the castle. Peter followed without hesitation. Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance, before Sirius shrugged and they both hurried out after the other two.

James let himself into the broom cupboard in the corner of the stadium's changing rooms. He could have gone to collect his Comet 220 from his room, of course, but that would have wasted time.

"James, what are we…" Remus began, but James overrode him. "You say we need to be completely distracted? Living in the moment, thinking about nothing else?"

"Yes?" Sirius looked understandably bemused, as James tossed him broom.

"Well," said James, throwing another broom to Remus, "There's only one time I ever feel like that." He snatched up an abandoned Quaffle from the corner of the cupboard. "Remus, keep. Sirius, you're the opposing Chaser."

Comprehension was dawning on both the other boys' faces. "But, mate," said Sirius weakly. "What if you turn into Prongs in mid-air? You'll fall off your broom."

"Yep," conceded James. "Which is why you two need to have your wands, to save me."

Peter seemed to have just about grasped what was going on. "What do you want me to do?" he asked James, his round face eager to please.

"Your job is the most important," James told him calmly.

"Yes?" Peter's excitement at hearing those words knew no bounds.

"You cheer me on."

x-x-x-x-x

It had been a long time since Sirius had been on a broom. He hovered anxiously now next to Remus, who looked even less comfortable than he was. At the opposite end of the pitch, James was gripping the slightly deflated old Quaffle, a look of grim determination on his face.

"Come at me, Sirius!" he yelled, and began to zoom forward. Sirius groaned, and flew forwards to meet him.

James swerved to the left, avoiding Sirius easily. "You'll have to try harder than that, mate," he yelled, and span the ball straight past Remus through the middle hoop. "And you," he added, skidding to a halt beside Remus. He summoned the Quaffle back off the ground from where it had fallen, and swooped back over to the opposite end.

"I don't know how to tackle," Sirius muttered reluctantly to Remus. He never liked to admit inadequacy at anything, but he suspected his shortcomings would be transparently obvious anyway.

"Just fly at him as if you're going to knock him off his broom," suggested Remus, whose hands were gripping his own broom handle so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.

"Don't tempt me," Sirius growled through gritted teeth, as James once again began to bullet towards them. Sirius went straight for him, making no attempt to reach for the Quaffle – hopefully it would be enough just to narrowly avoid crashing into James. James swerved to the right and Sirius skidded past him. Moments later he heard a distressed shout from Remus.

He whipped around to see the Quaffle flying past Remus, who was watching in horror as a huge brown stag plummeted to the ground. Sirius pulled out his wand, seeing Remus do the same, and in unison they bellowed "WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!"

The stag's fall slowed and Prongs hovered in the air, only six feet above the ground. The two young wizards carefully lowered him to the ground, then flew down to join him.

"Cheers, guys," said James, sitting up and ruffling his hair, a wide, stupid grin plastered on his face. Both Sirius and Remus glowered at him, furious and frightened.

"That," said Remus, breathing heavily, "Was the stupidest thing we've ever done. You could have been killed."

"But I wasn't," pointed out James, who was still sitting on the ground grinning up at them. "And now we've all done it."

"We have," agreed Sirius, the realisation sinking in. "We can all turn into animals."

"Some of us have more control than others, though," Remus reminded him gloomily.

"Still," said James, "We managed it."

"Yeah," said Sirius, also beginning to grin. "Moony, Wormtail, Snuffles and Prongs."

The other three exchanged glances, and began simultaneously to laugh.

"What?" asked Sirius, stung.

"Mate," said James, clambering to his feet. "If we're going to use those as nicknames, there's no way you're keeping Snuffles."

"It does sound a bit ridiculous," Remus agreed apologetically.

Sirius looked from one to the other. "What, then?"

Remus was watching him, with his head on one side. "Padfoot," he said, after a moment's consideration.

Sirius scowled slightly. He preferred Snuffles, but he knew this wasn't an argument he was going to win. "Fine," he conceded, moodily. "Padfoot."

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs," said James approvingly. "I like it."

x-x-x-x-x

As the four friends traipsed up to their dormitories, Remus, who was bringing up the rear, grabbed Sirius' arm and pulled him back. Sirius thought he knew what was coming, and went with him reluctantly.

"So, Padfoot," muttered Remus, once the others were out of earshot, "Have you got anything you'd like to tell me?"


	6. Full Moon

Sirius awoke in the middle of the night. Having ensured that his roommates were still asleep, he rolled out of bed and stole James' Invisibility Cloak out of his bedside cabinet. He took up the letter he had penned earlier, with Remus' help, and snuck out of the dormitory.

The letter had been a difficult one to write, and as he snuck up to the owlery, he reran the words in his head.

_Dear Rosa,_

_You were right about using Nox (that's my owl). Remus noticed at breakfast. I had to tell him everything. I'm sorry, I know it was our secret, but Remus is okay, honestly. He won't say anything to anyone._

_Because I told him our secret, Remus says it's okay to tell you his. I said I couldn't tell you why I needed to become an animagus before but I can now. Just not in a letter._

_I'm sorry too about Potions. I couldn't hang around after Slug kicked us out and then stuff happened. I promise I'll tell you everything when I see you._

_I'm sorry. I've been rubbish today._

_Sirius_

In the owlery, he picked out a small screech owl from among the school owls. "Don't wait til breakfast," he muttered to it, handing it the note. It dutifully made a high-pitched, warbling squawk that was clearly intended to reassure, and swept away into the night.

He watched it go, trying not to feel too gloomy. He had not only failed to see Rosa since her return to the castle, but he had also betrayed her trust. He had a feeling that she would not be pleased, and just hoped that she wouldn't be too angry.

By the time he had made it back to the Common Room, the screech owl was sitting on the arm of a chair waiting for him. On the back of his letter, Rosa had scribbled a single line.

_Yes, you're rubbish x_

The kiss at the end gave him hope that even if she was annoyed, it wasn't going to damage things in the long term. He found a blank piece of parchment that someone had left on a table, borrowed Remus' quill, which had been abandoned alongside _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ ("I _am_ a magical creature," Remus had pointed out sarcastically when asked why he was taking Care of Magical Creatures in third year. "Why wouldn't I want to know how to care for myself?"), and scrawled his reply.

_I really am. Let me make it up to you. Meet me by the lake at lunchtime._

He dispatched the owl and waited, shivering slightly, for the reply. It didn't take long, but it was again written on the back of his own letter and this time made up of only two letters.

_OK._

Sirius grinned to himself, incinerated the two notes, and crept back up to bed, dropping the cloak in James' cabinet as he went.

x-x-x-x-x

The next morning, it felt to Sirius, could not have passed more slowly. Double Transfiguration with the Ravenclaws seemed suddenly meaningless, since they had achieved effectively the same standard as their teacher. The fact that McGonagall could transform into a cat at will seemed much less impressive to Sirius now that he was sitting behind two boys who could take the forms of a stag and a rat whenever they wanted to, and could himself turn into a dog at the drop of a hat.

James and Peter, still revelling their achievements of the previous day, were on raucous form, and McGonagall was getting increasingly annoyed with them as she struggled to make them take their work seriously. Sirius was too nervous about his meeting with Rosa to join in, so he sat with Remus, who was working steadily, and doodled on scraps of parchment until McGonagall, looking harassed and defeated, let the class go.

All four boys were studying Care of Magical Creatures, so they made their way out of the castle to the paddock, where Professor Kettleburn, an eccentric older wizard with only one arm, was waiting for them, surrounded by a pack of nifflers. He was allowing them to roam freely, with the chaotic result that the creatures were digging up Hagrid's pumpkin patch with gusto.

When the class ended, Sirius ducked away from the others under the pretence of wanting to ask Kettleburn a question. James looked incredulous at this uncharacteristic desire to talk to a teacher, but shrugged and headed off up to the castle, Peter in tow. Remus, who of course knew exactly what was going on, flashed Sirius a wry smile and followed them, and Sirius, narrowly escaping being made to help Kettleburn capture the rampaging nifflers (which, for such small animals, were doing a surprising amount of damage), crossed the grounds and walked round the side of the lake until he reached his usual spot, where he found Rosa waiting for him on the tree stump.

She rose as he approached and he lengthened his strides to reach her as quickly as possible. She met him halfway and without exchanging a word they kissed passionately. Sirius looped his arms around her and drank her in, but all too soon she was pulling back, not just out of the kiss but out of his embrace altogether.

"Explain."

_Well,_ he thought, _that's fair enough I suppose._ "Sit down?" he suggested, and she perched upon the stump, crossing her legs and folding her arms, and stared up at him expectantly.

And so Sirius found himself explaining everything. He told her how, in their second year, he and James had finally realised that Remus was a werewolf. He explained how, every full moon, Remus snuck down the secret passageway that was concealed by the Whomping Willow, and became a creature so enraged and out of control that he had to be trapped within the Shrieking Shack; and how Remus was the reason that everyone thought the Shrieking Shack was the most haunted building in Britain, even though no one had ever seen a ghost there. And he revealed the plan, cooked up by himself and James sometime during the year before, to become animagi so they could safely accompany Remus and make his monthly trials a little more bearable.

Finally, he told her what had really happened in yesterday's Potions class, and about James' final, triumphant transformation on the Quidditch pitch. Rose listened to all of this without a word, her expression giving nothing away.

"Well," she said when he had finished, "I always knew you were an idiot, but this is on a whole different scale."

"What do you mean?" Sirius was taken aback. He hadn't really expressly thought about it, but if he had, he wouldn't have expected that. If he was honest, he would have expected her to be impressed by his intellect, bravery, and utter disregard for rules.

"Taking Remus out at full moon would be horrendously dangerous," she told him severely. "And both Peter and James could have been seriously hurt, yesterday. All in all I'm amazed you haven't all been caught, or worse, yet."

Sirius sank onto the ground beside her, his brow furrowing. "You really think it's a bad idea?" he asked. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. He somewhat resented the idea that she might not approve; and yet a part of him felt anxious, in a way he had never felt with anyone else before, that if Rosa thought he shouldn't be doing something, then maybe she was right.

Her face suddenly split into a wide grin. "Oh, I think it's a splendid idea. But even you must admit that it's idiotic."

Sirius stared up at her for a few moments, then reached up and dragged her off the tree stump onto his lap. She squealed but he could tell that she liked it. He began to kiss her roughly, quite unlike the other times he had kissed her, when he had been careful, nervous, exploratory. She kissed back, hard, and her teeth closed around his bottom lip, making him tremble with excitement. The excitement ran right through his body, making him lose control, until suddenly she felt it, and jumped up from his lap, giggling. "Sirius!"

He flushed scarlet, and let his hands fall into his lap, hoping to conceal his arousal. She was still laughing, which embarrassed him more, but he supposed it was marginally better than her running away. He kept his eyes fixed on the ground, avoiding her gaze.

She stopped laughing and knelt on the ground in front of him, a hand resting on each of his knees. "Sirius? I'm sorry, Sirius. I'm new to this too, you know."

Sirius took both of her hands in his and looked shyly up into her face. He didn't ask how she knew that these were all new experiences for him; he supposed it was obvious, really. "I didn't mean to scare you," he told her honestly.

"Not scared," she replied. "Just surprised." She grinned again. "It's quite flattering, really."

She leaned in and kissed him again, more gently this time, before getting to her feet. "I supposed we'd better go to lunch."

"Right." Sirius wasn't sure whether it would be safe to stand just yet. "I might, um… I'll follow you up in a minute."

"Oh, right." She looked as though she might be about to laugh again, but she restrained herself and instead crouched to kiss him once more. As she pulled out of the kiss, she whispered in his ear.

"For what it's worth, I couldn't feel anything that I didn't like."

She kissed him on the cheek and hurried off, leaving him cross-legged on the ground, unsure whether to feel mortified or elated.

x-x-x-x-x

When Sirius slunk into the Great Hall a few minutes later, he was relieved to see that Rosa was, somewhat unusually, engrossed in conversation. Then he realised that she was talking to Snape and, astonishingly, Lily, who seemed to have temporarily defected to the Slytherin table. He hoped James wouldn't have seen; he wasn't sure he could cope with a round of Lily and snake bashing right now.

As he settled down with James, Remus and Peter, it was clear that they had not noticed Lily's brazen treachery just yet. They were sitting a few spaces down from anyone else, and were huddled together, discussing something intensely.

"Tell him," said James to Sirius as he sat down. "We didn't go through all that just to chicken out at the last minute."

Sirius looked from James to Remus, and realised that the latter was probably expressing a change of heart on their old plan of making an excursion at the next full moon. Speaking of which, he realised, full moon must be very soon indeed. "When is it?" he asked, relieved to have something to take his mind off the embarrassing encounter at the lake.

"Tomorrow night," said James excitedly. "We're just in time."

"I told you, it's not happening," snapped Remus. "You don't understand what's it's like. I could attack anyone."

"But you won't want to bite us, because we won't be human," James explained exasperatedly.

"Not you. But Hogsmeade is full of people."

"Oh come on. You've seen Prongs. And Snuff… Padfoot. We can easily take a wolf between us," said Sirius. He agreed with James – he was not willing to dismiss the last few months' work as a waste of time.

"And if all else fails, Wormtail's probably got a nasty little bite on him," James added with a snigger. Peter beamed, not recognising the irony.

"I just think it's a bad idea," Remus repeated gloomily, but James and Sirius knew they had won.

x-x-x-x-x

The next night, long after Remus had headed out of the Gryffindor Tower and down to the Hospital Wing to be escorted to the Shrieking Shack, and Frank had fallen asleep, Sirius, James and Peter huddled under the Invisibility Cloak and prepared to sneak out into the grounds.

"We're getting too big for this," grumbled James, and he was right; the cloak hovered inches off the ground, revealing their disembodied feet for all to see.

"Transform, Peter," suggested Sirius, and the smallest boy obeyed, and as a rat he clambered up James' body to perch on his shoulder. James eyed his new adornment with intrigue, and Sirius knew he was enjoying the sensation of having his most adoring fan quite literally reduced to a pet. "Come on," he muttered, and the two stole out of the Gryffindor Tower, Wormtail wrapping his tail around James' neck to keep himself in place.

As the boys approached the Whomping Willow, Sirius too transformed, and James, having stashed the cloak behind another nearby tree, joined him. Wormtail scampered through the tree's flailing branches to press the knot Remus had told them about, and Padfoot slunk after him, barely visible with his dark coat and soft steps. Prongs strode after them, absurdly noticeable as he bowed his head to stop his antlers catching on one of the great tree's temporarily frozen twigs. They snuck into the passageway – for a moment it looked as though Prongs would struggle to fit, but he managed it – and began to make their way down the passage which they had heard about from Remus, but never seen for themselves.

Sooner than they had imagined, they heard an enraged howl. The three exchanged glances, and wordlessly agreed that Wormtail should go first. He would be the least likely to startle Moony, and best able to run and hide if things went wrong.

Padfoot and Prongs hesitated in the tunnel for a few minutes, but when nothing happened, Padfoot grew bored. He padded onwards, and emerged in a dingy, depressing room scattered with bits of destroyed furniture.

He found Moony, standing in the middle of the room, looking inquisitively down at Wormtail, who was standing on his rear two legs sniffing up at the immense wolf above him. Unusually, Padfoot found himself respecting Wormtail's nerve. He wouldn't personally have liked to face Moony whilst barely bigger than the wolf's snout.

Moony looked up as Padfoot entered the room and gave a low growl. Padfoot reciprocated automatically, and the dog and the wolf glared intensely at each other. After a few tense moments Moony bowed his head, approached Padfoot, and nuzzled his snout against his neck. It was the kind of gesture they would have been far too embarrassed to perform as teenage boys, but as animals it came perfectly naturally.

Finally, Prongs stalked into the room, and Moony turned warily to survey the stag. Prongs lowered his head slowly, in a gesture of deference, and Moony approached, giving the great beast a playful lick on the nose. Prongs gently prodded the wolf with his antlers, inspiring a low growl, but then Moony just cuffed his friend playfully with his paw, claws retracted.

Padfoot gave a sudden loud bark, and stared expectantly at Wormtail. None of them had come here to be cooped up inside the Shrieking Shack.

They had rehearsed this back in the dormitory, before Frank had come to bed. The doors of the Shrieking Shack were firmly bolted, to keep Moony in his prison, but after mere moments, Wormtail had found a crack big enough to squeeze through and was soon out in the cold air outside. Transforming back into a boy, he rummaged for his wand and, after a few attempts at the Alohamora charm, had got the door open. Moony, smelling human blood, suddenly filled with animal rage and attempted to charge the door, but Prongs and Padfoot blocked his way, and Peter hurriedly resumed the form of a rat. Moony suddenly became calm again, and the wolf followed the dog and the stag out of the shack.

They deliberately headed in the opposite direction of the village, not wanting Moony to get too close to any innocent people who might be wandering around. Instead, they made their way through the cluster of trees which ran down the side of the path, onto the rocky outcrop which ran down to the jetty where the four of them had boarded their rowing boats on their first day of school and to the lake, beyond which lay the grounds of Hogwarts.

Moony gave a delighted howl and set off, relieved to have the chance to use his long, elegant wolf muscles. Padfoot gave a short bark that resembled a laugh and bounded after him, chasing the wolf through the rough grass and over immense grey boulders, down the slope to the shore. Prongs bowed his head, allowing Wormtail to scramble on, and with the rat clutching to his antlers set off at a gallop.

At the water's edge, Padfoot was frolicking in the water, which would have been freezing to him if he was human but as a dog just felt deliciously cool. Moony followed him in, and the dog and wolf began playfully to fight, splashing each other with the cold, filthy water. Prongs deposited Wormtail on a boulder and waded after them, stopping when the water reached his knees. He managed to get their attention by ducking his head into the water, using his immense antlers to shower them both with water. They abandoned their deep swim and instead bounded back to yap and play around the stag, who easily threw them off as they lunged at him, playfully nipping at his ears. They would each land a few feet off, in deeper water, and thrash their way back through the lake to jump at him again, as Wormtail, safe on his boulder, squeaked with laughter.

The three enjoyed their play with animal abandon, and Wormtail, who always preferred watching rough and tumble to taking part in it, scampered backwards and forwards on his boulder, chattering his approval. Eventually, however, Moony realised that the sun would soon be rising and Madame Pomfrey would be coming for him in the Shrieking Shack. They headed for the shore, Prongs pausing to pick up Wormtail, and traipsed back to the shack. Wormtail waited outside and once the other three were indoors, briefly returned to human form to lock the door so that Moony wouldn't be able to escape and wreak havoc in the village once left to his own devices. He then joined the others, who had been surprised and pleased to note that Moony, for once content and happy, had not felt the need to charge the door as soon as he had smelt Peter on its other side.

Moony nuzzled his friends goodbye, and they scampered up the passageway. Wormtail went first, to freeze the Whomping Willow, and was then followed by Padfoot and Prongs, who hurried to their tree to retrieve the Invisibility Cloak. They transformed, and James stooped to scoop up Wormtail before they wordlessly crossed the grounds and climbed the stairs into the castle.

As the three fell into their beds, they felt no need to discuss what had happened. This was of course partly because Frank was snoring quietly in his own bed, and they knew he could never know of their nocturnal adventures; but also because there were no words they could use to adequately describe their moonlit adventure.

When Remus staggered into the dormitory an hour later, he found his friends all sound asleep. He smiled to himself. Normally when he returned the morning after a full moon, he felt tired, frustrated and angry. This morning he was still just as tired, but it was the exhaustion of one who has enjoyed an eventful and exciting evening, not the usual fatigue of someone kept awake by a living nightmare. However much he might have protested over the previous few days, he was now delighted and relieved at what his friends had done for him. He strongly suspected that no one else would ever have gone through what they had put themselves through for him, and for that he would be eternally grateful.


	7. Exposure

When Sirius awoke the next morning, it was to discover that he had overslept. Cursing his friends for failing to wake him, he dressed hurriedly and tore downstairs, knowing that if he made it to History of Magic on time it would be by the skin of his teeth. To his surprise, as he pelted through the Common Room he nearly crashed into Lily, who looked just as flustered as he probably did.

"Late, little Miss Prefect?" Sirius couldn't resist the dig as he held the portrait open for her. He expected a fiery response, but Lily just looked dejected. "Bad night."

"Oh?" Sirius followed her out and fell into step beside her, as they scarpered down the corridor. "Everything all right?"

"You'll just say I had it coming," she said irritably, and he was alarmed to see her brush away a tear. He had a horrible feeling he knew what this was about.

"Lily… Is it that sn… Is it Snape?" Sirius wasn't sure exactly what stopped him from calling Snape a snake, or by his unflattering nickname of Snivellus, but Lily clearly noticed, and shot him a sideways glance of confusion and something else. Could it be she was impressed? Either way, she just gave a non-committal shrug as they skidded to a halt outside their classroom and hurried in.

The whole class looked up as they walked in, though Professor Binns, their ghostly teacher, did not pause in his monologue on the goblin rebellions. Lily went to join Alice and Clara, and Sirius made his way to the back, falling into a seat next to Remus, behind James.

He instantly regretted it. "What were you doing with Evans?" James demanded, spinning round to face Sirius, his voice low so that the rest of the class couldn't hear them. "Why were you both late? And why are you out of breath?"

Sirius couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. "I'm late because you didn't bother to wake me up," he told James testily. "I'm out of breath because I basically just ran here from the Common Room, and I'm with Lily because she was running late too because she didn't get much sleep last night."

"Really?" James arched his neck to peer at Lily, his face seething with supressed rage. "Someone keeping her up all night, were they?"

Sirius groaned. "For the record, I think she's upset because she had a row with Snape. She didn't exactly say so but she sort of hinted."

James' expression cleared. "Snivellus upset her, did he? So she's just in the mood to be cheered up by a handsome young Gryffindor?"

Remus, who had been listening in, recalled the night before Christmas when James had run into Lily and Snape outside the Gryffindor Tower. "Yeah, that tactic worked really well last time," he remarked sarcastically, but James, eagerly watching Lily, didn't respond, if he heard at all. Sirius and Remus rolled their eyes at each other, and commenced a quick game of hangman, an endeavour far more exciting than in the Muggle world, as the little stickman was charmed so as to climb the pencil gallows and throw himself off them, adding a genuine sense of urgency (or, for the winner, malicious satisfaction) to the game. Remus, never entirely able to switch off from work, insisted that the words all had to be the names of goblins involved in the 18th century rebellions, and Sirius amused himself by seeing how outrageous his made-up goblin names could become before Remus noticed.

As the lesson ended, James shot off to talk to Lily. Unfortunately she had already left the classroom, so Sirius, Remus and Peter, gathering their things more languidly, weren't able to observe the confrontation. As they left the room, however, they found James in the corridor, his face scarlet, partly because he was blushing furiously and partly because of the impression of Lily's hand on his left cheek.

Sirius burst out laughing. "Ah, mate! How did you balls that one up quite so badly?"

James just shrugged. "She didn't even let me speak," he muttered. "She just said I was the last person she wanted to speak to and when I tried anyway she hit me."

"Are you sure that's all?" pressed Sirius, who was still chuckling. "It's not because you were calling Snape every unpleasant name you could think of?"

"I didn't even have time for that!" James was massaging his jaw, wincing. "She's got quite a whack on her, has Evans."

"Beaten up by a girl? Whatever next?" Sirius taunted him scornfully, as he left them to go to his Muggle Studies class.

"She was just upset, James, I'm sure it's not your fault," said Remus consolingly, as they reached the end of the corridor.

"She's not upset with _him,_" said James darkly, looking back after Sirius' retreating form. But then he turned back to realise that Remus had already disappeared to the left, on his way to Ancient Runes, and only Peter was waiting obediently for him. James led Peter down to the right, towards the Divination Tower, wondering as he did so why he had received a slap and Sirius had not.

x-x-x-x-x

Sirius emerged from his class an hour later to find Lily Evans in the corridor waiting for him. He blinked at her, taken aback.

"Why did you stop yourself calling Sev a snake?" she asked him, coming straight to the point.

Sirius sighed. "I'm trying not to use that word anymore," he said quietly, hoping she wouldn't press him. No such luck. She waved him into an empty corridor and Sirius reluctantly followed her, reflecting as he did that if James ever found out about this, it would be almost impossible to explain.

She was perched on one of the desks, watching him expectantly. Sirius slunk in and fell into a seat opposite her, trying to stare her out.

"Why?"

"Why what?" He knew, of course, what she meant, but it was so much easier to pretend he didn't.

"Why don't you call Slytherins snakes anymore?" She knew he knew what she had meant, of course she did, but she wasn't going to pursue that and Sirius was grateful.

"I just…" Sirius scanned his brain for a reasonable explanation. "I realised it's infantile, that's all."

She snorted. "Like you've ever stopped doing something before just because it's infantile. This is about Rosa, isn't it?"

Sirius almost choked. "I… what?"

"You like her. I'm not stupid. I see things." Lily had folded her arms and was surveying him impatiently. "She likes you too, you know."

"I…" Sirius sighed. It was no use lying to Lily. "I know," he said simply.

"You know?"

"We…" he hesitated. What were they doing, exactly? Were they dating? Was Rosa his girlfriend now? He settled on the only thing he could know for sure. "We kissed a few times, okay?"

Her eyes widened. "What? When? How? Why didn't you say something?"

"Before Christmas. And after. Down by the lake. And I didn't say anything because in case you hadn't noticed, most of our house doesn't have the same liberal attitude towards Slytherins that you do, Lily."

She frowned, surveying him closely. After a while she sighed. "You mean James, don't you?"

"Not just James. Everyone knows that half of Slytherin are on their way to join You-Know-Who, Lil. I'm not saying all of them," he amended hurriedly, as she opened her mouth to speak. "I just… This is war, Lily, or it will be soon. And being with a sna… With a Slytherin is going to be very hard to explain to some people."

She opened and closed her mouth a few times, then sighed again. "He won't be mad at you, you know. Not like he is with me."

Sirius was about to start telling her again that it wasn't just James, it was the whole school he was worried about, when what she had said sunk in. "Wait a minute. You think James is mad at you?"

"Of course he is," she said miserably.

"Yes," Sirius agreed sarcastically. "That would be why he follows you round all day trying to get you to go out with him."

She snorted. "He's still mad at me. He's trying to get me to say yes because he hates losing, he doesn't really like me. If I ever go out with him and choose him over Sev he'll get bored of me. And I'll lose my best friend for nothing."

Sirius stared at her, dumbstruck. "You really think that's true?"

"Isn't it?"

"No!" Sirius hesitated. If he was honest, he knew that part of James' dogged persistence with Lily was indeed born out of frustration and pig-headedness - James would never accept that there were certain things he couldn't have - but he was equally certain that there was more to it than that. "Okay, so it is driving him mad when you keep rejecting him, and he doesn't like it," he conceded. "But that's not why he asked you out in the first place, is it? He does like you, Lil, trust me."

"If he likes me, why does he try to upset me on purpose?" Lily asked viciously. "He knows I hate it when he tortures Sev, so why does he do it on purpose if it's not just to annoy me?"

Sirius sighed. "James hates Snape, Lily. He doesn't do it to upset you, he does it because he really, really doesn't like the guy."

"But _why?_" Lily moaned, her frustration clear. "Sev never did anything to him."

Sirius gave a hollow laugh. "Lily, do you honestly think Snape wouldn't hex James every time he walked past him if he had the opportunity? And anyway, Snape stole you away from James and I don't think he'll ever forgive him for that."

Lily looked at the ground, her eyes brimming with tears. She suddenly looked very, very small and Sirius felt terrible. "This is the bit where you insult James to me," he prompted weakly, hoping that Lily would revert back to her usual fiery self, or at the very least laugh. That he could cope with; her misery just made him feel awkward and helpless. But she turned her face away, and a single tear trickled down her left cheek.

"Lil?" Sirius wanted nothing more than to just leave her to it, but he knew this wasn't an option. "Lily? Do you actually… You know? _Like_ Snape, that way?"

She gave a dejected little shrug.

Sirius groaned inwardly. The gesture seemed to confirm his fears; Snape was a true rival to James in every sense and, inconceivable though it was to Sirius, he might just be winning. "But what did he do to you? Why didn't you sleep?"

She just shook her head. Sirius didn't press the matter. If she didn't want to confide – well, frankly that was more a relief than a disappointment. He just wanted to get away from this whole awkward conversation, and he could not have been more glad when she slipped off the desk and hurried out of the room. He wondered whether he ought to go after her, but decided that it was none of his business what went on between her and Snape; and more to the point, he didn't want it to be.

x-x-x-x-x

And yet, a few hours later, he found himself relaying the whole conversation to Rosa. They were in the Room of Requirement, which could guarantee their privacy better than the lakeside retreat. Rosa was sitting at one end of the comfortable cream sofa the room had thoughtfully provided for them to sit on, and Sirius was sprawled across the couch, his head resting in Rosa's lap. As he explained the morning's events, she played fondly with his fringe, listening quietly.

"Snape definitely likes Lily," she said when he finished. "More than likes. He's obsessed with her. Follows her everywhere."

"Do you know what he said to her?" Sirius was more bothered by the whole encounter than he liked to admit, and not just because he knew how closely involved his best friend was with the whole thing. The defeated look in Lily's eyes had scared him.

Rosa sighed. "I don't know, but I bet they were arguing about his friends. You know, the crowd of mini-Death Eaters he goes around with."

Sirius closed his eyes, relishing the sensation of her slim fingers dancing around his temples, and yet unable to fully concentrate on it. "Do you think Snape will… you know?"

"I don't know," she replied simply. They sat still for a moment, and Sirius reached up and took one of her hands in his, gently stroking her palm.

"You've never asked me whether I would," said Rosa suddenly. Sirius opened his eyes. "Would what?"

"Join You-Know-Who."

Sirius actually laughed. "I didn't need to."

"Didn't you? I'm snake scum, after all," she said, and though she was clearly trying to keep her voice light and teasing, he could hear genuine fear and resentment underneath. "Aren't we all on a fast track to him?"

Sirius squeezed her fingers tightly in his own. "Not all."

"You've changed your tune," she said, and bent over to kiss him.

He rose up to meet her, gentle sucking on her bottom lip. The kiss deepened, and Sirius sat up, turning so he was facing her. Then, driven by a sudden flash of courage, he ran his hand down her side to hook under her legs, and lifted them onto the sofa, positioning himself so that he was lying over her. He kissed her again, and slipped his tongue into her mouth, tentatively tasting her warmth. She reached her arms up behind his back, one stroking the nape of his neck, the other running its fingers through his dark hair. Sirius, very slowly, not wanting to push his luck, moved his hand so that it was hovering just above her right breast, and very, very carefully, came to rest on it.

Still she didn't protest, and Sirius cupped the small swelling in the palm of his hand, allowing the thumb to wander, stroking her with slow, deliberate motions. He found the small, hard bump of her nipple and moved his thumb in small circles around it, never pulling out of the kiss.

Then he felt himself begin to grow again, and he pulled back momentarily, not wanting to startle her when she felt it, but he didn't move his hand. She had noticed, but she didn't try to push him off her. She just raised an eyebrow, and then pulled him back down to meet her. He kissed her deeply on the lips once more, then moved away from her mouth, nuzzling into her neck.

Her hands were still encircled around his neck, and she was stroking his shoulder blades with the same deliberate force he was exerting on her breast. One of her legs lifted and looped around his own, pulling him closer into her, as she ran her foot up and down the back of his calf.

Emboldened by the positive response so far, Sirius began to move his mouth down her neck, brushing the folds of her robes aside with his hand. His lips came to rest on the swell of her right breast, and the skin here was softer, more tender than anything he had experienced before.

But now she was sitting up, pushing him gently but firmly away. Sirius withdrew, disappointed but not entirely surprised, as she swung her legs back off the sofa until she was in a seating position. Sirius settled himself next to her, and wrapped an arm round her shoulders, kissing her softly on the top of the head.

She was the first to speak. "I'm sorry," she said, and she sounded it. "I just… not yet."

Sirius kissed her again, and pulled her in to nestle against his chest. "It's okay," he said, meaning every word. "I'm sorry for pushing."

She didn't reply, but she wrapped her free arm around his waist and lay against him, and he stroked her arm tenderly until he knew he would be able to stand again without embarrassment. "Come on," he murmured, kissing her earlobe. "We'll be late for dinner."

"Does it matter?" she replied sleepily, but Sirius gently removed her arm from his waist and stood up. She followed suit, and Sirius held out his hand to lead her out of the Room of Requirement.

They should have gone out separately, he thought later, looking back, but at the time he hadn't been ready to say goodbye just yet. They certainly shouldn't have been holding hands when they emerged from the room into the corridor, to find that they were not alone.

"What," demanded James, who had clearly, until a moment ago, been arguing with a defiant looking Snape, "The fuck is going on here?"

x-x-x-x-x

Of all the people, Sirius reflected, as he sat at the Gryffindor table being berated by James. Of all the people who could have been standing in the corridor, it had to be James and Snape. He wasn't sure which was worse. Snape had looked overjoyed at the development, his dark eyes filling with malice as he took in Rosa and Sirius' embarrassment and James' fury. No doubt he was spreading the news around the Slytherin table right now. Sirius looked across, and sure enough Snape was surrounded by his gang of would-be Death Eaters, who were all glancing gleefully across to the Gryffindor table whenever they could tear their greedy eyes away from their plates. Rosa was nowhere to be seen; she had disappeared almost as soon as James and Snape had discovered them, and hadn't come to dinner.

As for James, he was utterly livid. "I can't believe," he was growling, not for the first time, as Peter looked on aghast, Remus resigned, "That you would ever, _ever,_ want to lay your hands on a filthy snake like her."

What annoyed Sirius more than anything was the fact that until this evening, James had shown every sign of actually liking Rosa. He had certainly never treated her with the contempt he usually dealt to snakes. This was despite the fact that he, Sirius, had actively disliked Rosa and given James many opportunities to follow suit. So why, Sirius wondered angrily, was James suddenly turning against Rosa now? Was it just his anger with Snape extending to all Slytherins generally? Was it because her team had beaten his in their last Quidditch match? Or was it (and Sirius suspected it was) because James was frustrated with his own failed love life, and he resented seeing his best friend, who had shown no previous interest in such things, suddenly having a girlfriend?

Then Sirius realised that he had just used the word girlfriend in relation to Rosa, and the realisation startled him. After all, was she? He didn't know. They hadn't discussed it. But Sirius knew, in that moment, that whatever the answer to that question really was, he wanted it to be a yes.

"I mean, can you believe this?" James was suddenly snarling at Remus, and Sirius snapped out of his reverie. Remus was looking steadily at James without saying anything. It took a moment for things to seek in.

"You knew?" James looked from Remus to Sirius and back again, his mouth hanging slightly open in incredulous rage. "_He_ knew, but you didn't tell me?"

"I told you, James," Sirius tried again wearily. "Rosa made me promise not to tell anyone."

"But you told Remus? _Remus?_"

Sirius could see that Remus, in spite of himself, was a little insulted by James' disbelief. "No, actually, I didn't tell Remus," he said through gritted teeth. "He figured it out. Because he's smart like that, and because he sometimes pays a little bit of attention to what's going on around him instead of living with his head up his own arse the entire time. But do you know what? I would've told him before I told you anyway, given the chance, because he's not judgmental and he's not spiteful and he's not trying to make this all about him by getting all angry and offended about it!"

By the end he was almost shouting. A hush had descended across the Great Hall so that half the school had heard his diatribe. Sirius wasn't done there. Abandoning his half-eaten dinner, he got up to storm out of the hall, but then he remembered something and hesitated. "Oh," he continued, his eyes flashing dangerously, "And Lily knows as well. For the same reasons as Remus. And I don't regret that either." And with that he decided that it really was time to go.

Sirius went straight to the owlery to find Nox. Ripping a quill and a scrap of parchment out of his bag, he scrawled a note to Rosa and gave it to Nox. "Just find her, okay? Quickly," he told the owl, dispatching him out of the window. The note was just a precaution; Sirius thought, or at least hoped, he knew where she'd be, and he ran down the stairs to the Entrance Hall two at a time, threw open the front door, and hurried down the lakeside path.

She was sitting on the tree stump, waiting for him. Of course she was. As she heard him approach she looked miserably up at him and Sirius, filled with fresh fury, strode over to her and pulled her up into a big bear hug. She leaned against him, and he could feel her warm cheek lying against his heart. He pressed his lips to the top of her head and they stood like that, swaying slightly but otherwise seemingly unable to move.

Finally they broke apart, and she looked helplessly up at him. "Did they tell…?"

"Snape told the whole of Slytherin, yes," Sirius told her grimly. "And James has been yelling at me so long, and so bloody loud, I'd be surprised if my parents in London didn't hear about it." _And wouldn't they be delighted if they had, their little Gryffindor brat set on the straight and narrow by a suitable snake girl,_ a nasty little voice inside his head piped up, but he dismissed the thought. After all, Rosa might be a Slytherin but she was hardly a normal one; and to top it off she was mudblood filth. Sirius could almost hear his mother shrieking her insults about him defiling the bloodline, and the thought made him hold Rosa tightly to him again. _Who cares,_ he thought defiantly. _Who cares about any of them?_

"Is James angry?" she asked into his chest.

"He'll come round," Sirius told her dismissively. "And if he doesn't… Well, that's his loss."

"But…"

"No buts," said Sirius fiercely. "He doesn't matter. None of them matter." He kissed the top of her head again. "Everyone was going to find out you were my girlfriend sooner or later."

There. He had said it. He stood there, holding her, trying not to tense up so that she didn't know how scared he was about what she might or might not say next. He doubted, somehow, that she was fooled.

After what seemed like an eternity, she replied. "Yes," she said simply. "I suppose they were."

Sirius brought his hand up to her cheek and, leaning back out of the hug slightly, tilted her face up to look at him. She was smiling, nervously, yes, but sincerely. He bent to kiss her, and felt her soft lips tightening as the smile broadened. He was smiling too, and the kiss only lasted a few moments before he began to laugh, softly, with relief more than anything. She was laughing too, and they rested their foreheads against one another, smiling at one another, forgetting for a moment what was waiting for them at the castle.

But then they remembered, and they had to face what was coming for them. Sirius took Rosa's hand and led her up the path to the castle, up the steps, and into the Entrance Hall.

They could not have timed it worse. It seemed that the whole of Slytherin was emerging from the Great Hall just as they came in through the main doors. And the Slytherins, of course, were led by Snape, backed up by his usual gang of mini-Death Eaters.

"And there they are," he drawled, eyeing Sirius and Rosa intently. Sirius tightened his grip on Rosa's hand and she took a step closer to him, so that their hips brushed together. "The mudblood and the blood traitor."

Rosa flinched at the insult and Sirius took a step forward, ready to pummel Snape to the ground, but then he saw James emerging from the Great Hall, followed by Peter. Remus was nowhere to be seen. Sirius' face locked on James' and the two boys stared at each other. Sirius was sure that whatever may have passed between them, James would come running to his aid when he saw him surrounded by hostile Slytherins.

But he was wrong. James surveyed the Entrance Hall, taking in the whole situation. Then he turned, and without a word disappeared in the direction of the Gryffindor Tower.

Sirius felt as though his whole world was falling to pieces around him. He watched James retreat with a sort of incredulous horror, sure that any moment James would turn round, laugh at his stunned expression, whip out his wand and hex every last Slytherin (apart, hopefully, from Rosa) into oblivion. But he didn't.

Snape had watched the whole thing with gleeful enjoyment. "That's it, blood traitor," he spat. "They won't have anything to do with you because your hands are so filthy with snake poison. But you needn't think we want you, you stupid, arrogant, treacherous ingrate brat."

With the last word he literally spat in Sirius' face. It was Rosa's turn to take a step forward, and she dropped Sirius' hand to rummage for her wand.

Suddenly the Slytherins were taking a few steps back. Sirius turned to see his girlfriend, her hair hanging lose and wild around her face, which was contorted in rage, and her wand arm outstretched, trembling slightly but with a firm grip on her wand. For a moment he wondered why the other Slytherins seemed quite so threatened by a single fifteen-year-old girl, when presumably they all had their wands on them too. Then he remembered Rosa's talent for charms, and wondered whether she was as adept at darker wandwork. Maybe she really was capable of cursing this lot with a single wave of her wand; and judging by her expression, she was certainly considering trying.

Then McGonagall emerged from the Great Hall and the crowd of Slytherins dispersed, leaving Sirius and Rosa alone in the middle of the Entrance Hall. Rosa sheepishly hurried to put her wand away, but it was too late. McGonagall had seen, and was marching towards them, her expression stormy.

"Black. Glancy. With me, please."

Hardly daring to look at each other, the unfortunate couple hurried after her, struggling to keep up with her long strides. They followed her into her office and stood side by side in front of her desk, as she settled herself down and peered at them over the tops of her large, square glasses.

"Snape called Rosa a mudblood, Professor," Sirius blurted out hurriedly. As McGonagall raised an eyebrow, Rosa chipped in. "And he called Sirius a blood traitor. And a stupid, arrogant brat."

"You missed out treacherous," Sirius interjected. "And ingrate."

McGonagall raised the other eyebrow and surveyed the pair of them. Sirius carefully shifted a little further away from Rosa – he wasn't sure he liked the idea that the teachers would be joining in the gossip – but he suspected that McGonagall had put two and two together anyway. Her expression did nothing to dissuade him of this conclusion.

After a few moments, she sighed, and pushed an open tin towards them. "Cauldron cake?"

Sirius and Rosa looked at one another, startled. McGonagall brandished the tin at them impatiently. "Well?"

Sirius, wondering whether this was a trap of some kind, took one. Rosa followed suit.

McGonagall watched them eating appraisingly. Both were in fact grateful for the food, having missed dinner, but it was hard to enjoy the cakes with the Deputy Headmistress watching them like a cat watches a mouse.

They finished the cakes and stared at her, wondering what was next. She paused for a moment longer before speaking. "No magic in the corridors, Miss Glancy. And yes that does include the Entrance Hall. I hope I don't have to remind you again. The same goes for you, Mr Black."

She picked up a quill, pulled a pile of essays towards her, and started to mark them. Sirius and Rosa watched her for a few moments, dumbfounded. After a while she glanced up at them again. "And why are you still here, pray?"

Mumbling hasty apologies, they backed out of the office and half ran down the corridor away from her. As they reached the end of the corridor they stopped. To get to their respective houses, they would have to part here.

Sirius caught Rosa's hand and pulled her roughly into a hug. She nuzzled against him. "I don't want to go to the Common Room, Sirius."

He squeezed her tight. "Me neither," he confessed mournfully. "But we'll have to face it sooner or later."

She gave a little whimper, and Sirius pulled out of the hug so that he could stoop to kiss her. They drank each other in, then broke apart again.

"We'll be fine," Sirius told her, with a confidence he didn't feel, and which didn't fool her for a moment. She gave a sad little nod nevertheless, and departed.

Sirius too turned to head back to his own tower. As he walked away from her, his resolve hardened somewhere in the pit of his stomach. Whatever else happened, whoever else might sneer and taunt them, he was sure of one thing and one thing alone. Severus Snape would pay for what he had said and done that night


	8. Revenge

When James stormed into the Gryffindor Common Room he found Remus, who had slunk away shortly after Sirius' abrupt exit, waiting for him. James had assumed he had gone to follow Sirius, but apparently not. Instead he was standing in front of the fireplace, his arms folded across his chest, looking very stern indeed. "Sit."

"Oh, piss off," snapped James, and went to climb the stairs to the dormitory when he saw out of the corner of his eye that Remus had pulled out his wand. "I said," repeated Remus, his hand steady but his voice less so, "Sit."

Stunned by Remus' sudden show of insubordination, James sank into a chair. He tried to look as though this had been his plan all along, but of course no one was fooled.

"Good," said Remus, and flicked his wand. Ropes fired out of the end and before James knew what was happening, they were binding him to the armchair. "Oi!" he yelled, but Remus took no notice, instead settling himself into another chair and opening up _One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi._ The other Gryffindors were clearly enjoying the spectacle, most of them laughing openly as James struggled against his bonds. James saw Lily, who was trying simultaneously to look disapproving and to supress a laugh. It wasn't working; her lips twitched almost uncontrollably.

James had no idea what Remus was playing at, and no one seemed to be in any mood to enlighten him. After what felt like centuries, he found out.

The portrait opened and Sirius strode purposefully into the room, obviously spoiling for a fight. Remus barely bothered to glance up from his book. "Locomotor Mortis!"

Sirius' legs locked together and he fell to the floor, to the delight of the onlookers. Normally James would have laughed too, but it had dawned on him what Remus was trying and he was not impressed.

Remus stood up lazily and went over to Sirius. Lily, who seemed to be in on the plan, scurried to help him and together they heaved Sirius up off the floor and settled him in a chair opposite James. Sirius' free arms were struggling furiously, but he couldn't get very far with his legs fixed together.

"Now," said Remus, standing in between them with his best schoolteacher expression on his face, "Let's get this sorted out. Sirius, how about you explain very briefly what's going on with you and Rosa?"

"She's my girlfriend. Brief enough for you?" spat Sirius sarcastically. He had clearly resigned himself to the fact that he wasn't going to be getting free anytime soon, not least because Lily had somehow confiscated his wand, leaving him unable to perform the counter-curse. Instead he had just folded his arms moodily, glowering at James.

Even Remus looked a little taken aback by this directness, James noticed, but he endeavoured to supress his surprise and turned to James. "And James, would you like to explain exactly what the problem is with that?"

"Where to start?" snarled James, who was still struggling against the ropes; but Remus had done a good job.

"Maybe with whichever objection is the most pressing," suggested Remus, barely keeping the impatience out of his voice.

"She's a snake!" James threw out, and was about to continue when Remus held up a hand. "Yes, thank you, James, that'll be enough to be getting on with. Sirius?"

"What?" Sirius was looking increasingly sullen.

"Well, how do you respond to James'… er… complaint?" Remus pressed him uneasily.

"Call that a complaint? Since when was being in Slytherin a crime?"

James noticed Lily tense up. _Damn,_ he thought, _how do I deal with that one?_ "It's not a crime," he hissed. "But they're not like us. I thought you understood that."

"Rosa's not a Death Eater, and she never will be," Sirius told him abruptly. "So I don't see why her just being in Slytherin's a problem."

"Never mind her being a snake," said James, changing tack. "You always hated her. All snakes, but her in particular."

For a moment, Sirius looked stumped. "Well, maybe I grew up," he hurled back after a pause.

"Oh yeah? And why didn't you tell me that you were 'growing up'?" demanded James nastily. "Since when did we hide stuff like that from each other, eh?"

"Since I knew you'd react like this." James bit his lip. He hated to admit it even to himself, but Sirius might just have a point there. Still, James was far too stubborn to concede a fight that easily. "It wasn't just that, though, was it?" he growled. "It's because you thought… what was it? That I'm up my own arse? That I would try to make it all about me?"

"Which you are!" Sirius' cool façade suddenly collapsed as he leaned forward in his chair, jabbing his fingers pointedly in James' direction. "You're arguing about how could I lie to _you,_ why didn't I tell _you_, how could I tell Remus and Lily but not _you…_ Don't you get it? I didn't tell you because I didn't tell anyone, it was between me and Rosa, and what, you can't cope because suddenly there's an aspect of my life that you're not in control of anymore?"

He fell back into the chair, looking drained. James' mouth opened and closed several times, but he couldn't find any of the right words. Or any words at all, for that matter.

"Is that what you really think?" he managed, after a while.

Sirius stared back at him for a long time. He looked exhausted. "I don't know, mate," he said finally. "What am I supposed to think?"

And, at last, it all began to sink in for James. Sirius had found something in Rosa that he, James, hadn't found in anyone yet. That something hadn't changed him, exactly, but it had introduced a new part of his life that James just couldn't understand. At this precise moment, Sirius was worried and angry and miserable because of James' interference. And James remembered that Rosa, too, was probably suffering unspeakable humiliation at the hands of Snape and his cronies in the Slytherin Common Room, and that Sirius would be aware of that and it would be driving him mad. And uncharacteristically, unexpectedly, James felt an untold pressure of guilt as he looked his best friend in the eye and realised what a prat he had been.

Of course, realisation was one thing. James Potter did not apologise often, and he wasn't quite sure he could bring himself to do it now.

"Is Rosa okay?" he asked instead, as a sort of peace offering.

Sirius' expression underwent a minute change, perceptible only to James, who knew that his friend wasn't angry with him anymore. "I think the snakes are going to be giving her a pretty hard time," he replied honestly. "Snape was being pretty... well, you know Snape."

James saw Lily turn away, but was in no mood to worry about her right now. "Don't worry about Snivellus," he sneered. "Whatever he said, he'll regret it soon enough."

"Oh, he will," replied Sirius, his face darkening.

x-x-x-x-x

When Sirius awoke the next morning, it was to a sense of tremendous relief. He rolled over and saw James, sprawled on his own bed, his mouth slightly open, snoring gently. For the first time in weeks, Sirius had nothing left to hide from his best friend. No dark, unspoken thoughts filled his mind, ready to burst out nastily at any moment.

The relief was short-lived. However pleased Sirius might be to have his friend back – and it really did feel as though, in a way, they had been separated since before Christmas – he now had to face the fact that he had a girlfriend somewhere in the castle whose evening probably hadn't gone anything like as well as his.

He had considered sending her an owl before he went to bed, but he had worried that the arrival of a note from him would only give the Slytherins more ammunition. Instead, he had settled for the idea that he would be first down to breakfast the next morning, and would be waiting for her when she arrived.

With this plan in mind, he rolled out of bed and dressed hurriedly. He tried to stay quiet – there was no need for the others to get up just yet – but despite this he must have disturbed James, because the other boy suddenly sat up, yawning. "What time is it?"

"7am," Sirius told him, fastening his robes.

"So why are you up?" For all that James would fanatically force his team out of bed in the small hours most mornings when a match was approaching, he was not a naturally early riser and the idea of getting out of bed a minute before he had to was utterly foreign to him, as it usually was to Sirius. Whenever he stayed with James during the holidays, the pair would often frustrate the Potters by staying in bed well passed lunchtime.

"Wanted to get to breakfast early," Sirius told him, and he could see instantly that James understood everything he wasn't saying. He was unerringly grateful when James clambered out of bed and pulled on his robes, hurrying to join him.

As they walked down to the Entrance Hall, James brought up something that had clearly been on his mind since the night before. "Mate?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you tell Lily about… everything?"

Sirius sighed. He should have expected this, but in all the chaos he had all but forgotten the tail-end of his little outburst over dinner. "She guessed, like Remus," he said simply, hoping it would be enough. No such luck.

"But when were you talking to her about it?"

"Yesterday, after Muggle Studies," Sirius went on, reluctantly. "She cornered me, mate… she'd noticed something was up."

James nodded slowly. "Did she say why she was upset?" he asked, with clearly feigned nonchalance.

Sirius only had a moment to debate. Was there newly restored friendship too fragile for the truth? He threw caution to the winds and said it anyway. "It was because of Snape. Rosa thinks it was probably to do with him hanging around with the mini-Death Eaters. But it's not just that, mate, it's you, too."

"Me?" James' brow contorted. "What have I ever done to her?" he asked, sounding genuinely confused.

"She thinks you're angry with her for hanging around with Snape," Sirius told him, forcing himself to be patient. "She thinks you attack Snape to get at her, and she thinks that if she went out with you you'd get bored of her really quickly and she'd end up losing Snape over it."

As he finished, Sirius surveyed his friend, anxious lest James should lose his temper and, however irrationally, blame Sirius. But that didn't happen. James looked both hurt and puzzled. "Huh," was all he managed to say, before they had arrived at the Great Hall.

The immense room was all but empty as they walked in and settled down at the Gryffindor table, with only a small group of seventh year Ravenclaws already seated. The hall began slowly to fill up around them, and they were joined reasonably quickly by Remus, who told them that he had panicked when he saw them gone and hurried to supervise them before they could get themselves into any kind of trouble. They responded by spontaneously yet simultaneously throwing pieces of buttered toast at him.

It took far longer for Rosa to enter the hall, but when she did, Sirius beckoned her over immediately and she crossed the room to join them. A hush descended as she walked down between the Gryffindor and Slytherin tables, and a group of Slytherins, led by Snape, began jeering. A couple of Gryffindors, too, seemed disturbed by the sight of a snake joining them at their table.

Sirius was suddenly aware that James was getting to his feet. "Over here, Rosa," he called. His directions were clearly redundant since she had already seen them, but Sirius knew that wasn't the point. James was popular and well-known, not to mention respected among his own house and the rest of the school at large (Slytherins mostly excepted, obviously), and his gesture sent out a signal: the development had his approval, so everyone else could bloody well suck it up, thank you very much.

His stand had no effect on the Slytherins, whose cackles simply grew louder, but Sirius was deeply heartened by the attempt, and it certainly had sent the Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws back to their breakfasts without any further attention.

Rosa approached with some trepidation. Sirius remembered that she was unaware that he and James had reconciled, but James' shout seemed to reassure her, and she sank into a seat opposite Sirius and James, between Remus and Peter. "Hi."

James grinned. "Hey," he said, and then tucked into his bacon, as though Rosa's joining them were the most natural thing in the world. Sirius felt a further rush of gratitude. Rosa poured herself some cereal, still looking nervous.

"Have you written your Potions essay yet?" Remus asked her as she added milk.

James groaned. "Remus, seriously, give it a rest. No one cares that you already finished yours."

"I was just making conversation!"

"Well don't, it's boring."

Remus threw Sirius a look, but the latter was too elated to have James back on his side to come to the former's aid. Besides, he had suddenly felt a foot running up the inside of his leg, and since he assumed Peter wasn't responsible, he was busy enjoying the sensation.

"Did they give you a hard time last night?" he asked his girlfriend seriously, trying to pretend that her toes weren't stroking up and down the inside of his left thigh.

"Nah," said Rosa nonchalantly. "They all know that I could and would hex them all to oblivion if they bothered me, so I'm just getting the silent treatment. And I like silence."

She then turned her concentration to her breakfast, and Sirius knew that the subject was closed for now, although he planned to return to it later, when the others weren't listening, and she might be a little more open. Instead he decided, very quietly, to fill his friends in on a new idea he had had, during some of his more recent late-night wanderings of the castle. He thought it would probably be possible to create a map that showed the whereabouts of every inhabitant of and visitor to Hogwarts castle, and if such a thing were possible, then it might just be a job for Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.

x-x-x-x-x

The next few weeks passed relatively uneventfully. James and Sirius were well and truly back to their old selves now, to the unending frustration of most of the staff, and occasionally Remus, who was becoming more and more submerged in his books as their exams approached. Peter, meanwhile, was happy to go along for the ride, relieved once again to have unwavering and undivided leadership from his two heroes.

The four had made quick work of the map Sirius had envisaged; it turned out to be relatively simple enterprise to cast an automatic tracing charm over the map, so that it would instantly detect and begin to track any newcomer to the building. Of course, no other student would have been able to manage it; but for three animagi and their brainy best friend (with a little discrete assistance from a witch renowned for her proficiency in wandwork), the task was a walk in the park. They had nicknamed the result the Marauders' Map, a title chosen primarily for the alliteration, but James and Sirius in particular had grown surprisingly attached to the collective term "Marauders," and adopted it as a kind of team name.

James had managed a further discussion with Sirius about Lily. His friend had assured him that Lily did like him; that if James showed her a little more kindness he might get a long way; and that Sirius had himself put in a good word. James, unusually, decided to take Sirius' report of his conversation with Lily to heart as constructive criticism, and had been trying to be more mature and sensitive around her. His new effort mostly involved resisting the urge to bully Snape in front of her, though he couldn't quite stop himself whenever he had the opportunity in private. It did occur to him that Snape would probably tell Lily what he was up to, but the habit was too ingrained for him to completely give it up now.

One thing that confused James a little was why Snape, who seemed so cocky and bullying himself whenever his cronies were around, was so often isolated and vulnerable to James' attacks and ridicule. Surely the point of a gang was to have protection against that sort of thing? He had mentioned the point over breakfast one morning, and Rosa, who now habitually joined them for meals, had piped up.

"Well for a start, you know Snape's only a tag-along in that little gang, don't you? And Mulciber, Avery, Rosier and the rest of that scum are only interested in Snape the potential Death Eater. Being in love with your mudblood best friend isn't exactly typical Death Eater behaviour." The Marauders flinched at the word 'mudblood,' but Rosa, a Muggle-born herself, was clearly only quoting what they all knew Snape's friends would be saying, so they let it go. "They just laugh at him when you beat him," she continued, "And he can't ask them for help because that would mean admitting to still being close to Lily. They think he 'dumped her,' for want of a better expression."

This explanation made perfect sense, although being reminded that Snape was in love with Lily hit James like a kick in the stomach. However, he gained some reassurance from the fact that Snape seemed to be inclining towards choosing the would-be Death Eaters, or Death-Nibblers as the Marauders had come to mockingly call them, over Lily, and that she would never forgive him for it once she realised.

Whatever the situation in private, the fact remained that James' public humiliations of Snape had at least partially ceased. Sirius, however, had taken up the slack with grim enthusiasm, which James knew was inspired by Snape's comments to and about Rosa. Rosa was still generally treated as invisible by the majority of the Slytherin house, or at least the Death-Nibblers; though this fact seemed to bother Sirius far more than it did Rosa herself.

Sirius' hatred for the Slytherin boy had become something of an obsession. Sirius, James knew, could hate in a way no one else ever could; with an irresistible force, unalterable and unyielding, which burned with a deep and devoted passion. Despite this, even James could never have foreseen the events that would play out some four weeks after Sirius and Rosa's exposure to the school at large.

It was the evening of full moon, only the second since James, Sirius and Peter had become Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail. Remus had already disappeared off to the Hospital Wing to be escorted down to the Shrieking Shack. Rosa was in the library, Frank was somewhere with Alice, and so the three remaining Marauders were alone in their dormitory. James was lying on his stomach on the bed, examining the Marauders' Map to ensure the coast was clear before they set off for another adventure with Moony, when he spotted something unusual.

"Hang on," he said, peering closely at the map. "Why's Snape prowling around outside, on his own?"

Sirius almost fell off his bed and rushed over to look. When he saw Snape's inky blot on the parchment, he grinned almost uncontrollably. "I knew it would work," he said softly.

James felt a deep sense of foreboding. "You knew what would work?"

"You know how Snivellus has always been poking around, wanting to know what was wrong with Remus? Well, I told him that if he went through the passage under the Whomping Willow tonight, he would find out."

James looked at his best friend in horror. He understood that Sirius was raging against Snape, but even he could see that this was a step too far. He glanced back at the map and knew that there was no time to explain that to Sirius. He leapt off his bed, not bothering to don the Invisibility Cloak, and began a mad dash through the castle.

Bursting into the cold night air, James could feel his heart pounding wildly. If Sirius' terrible plan came through, then he would face unimaginable consequences; and that was nothing compared to the fate that would meet Snape.

As he reached the foot of the steps, he wished he could transform into Prongs – he could move so much more swiftly in that form – but he knew that the risk of being seen was just too great. Instead he pounded across the grounds to the Willow. Snape was nowhere to be seen. James snatched up a fallen branch as he approached, and used it to poke the right knot in the trunk, freezing the tree. This took him three attempts, he was shaking so badly, and wasted precious time. As soon as the tree had stopped moving, he darted through the motionless branches and pelted hell for leather down the tunnel.

Snape was there, up ahead of him. James hurtled into the back of him, wrapping both arms around him from behind, and began to drag him backwards. As he did so, he looked to the end of the tunnel and saw a horrible sight.

James was used to seeing Remus the boy. He had grown familiar, on the last full moon, with the sight of Moony the werewolf. But the transition was something so terrible that he would never have been able to imagine it if he hadn't seen it for himself. He knew that it was the sort of thing his memory would erase for him, burying the image away in his subconscious, but for now it was a dreadful sight, as Remus, screaming like a deranged dog, buckled over in what looked like agonising pain.

All these thoughts crossed James' mind in a few moments, and then he was backing out of the tunnel, Snape heavy and limp in his arms. At first he thought the Slytherin had passed out, but as he pulled him through the Willow's twisting branches, mercifully still frozen from before, he realised that he was simply too stunned to use his own legs. Snape's knees had buckled, and James dropped him as soon as they were clear of the tree, keeling over himself onto the soft grass next to him.

He hoped against hope that Snape wouldn't understand what he had seen.

The boys lay side by side for a few moments, before Snape sat up, his dark eyes wide and haunted. At first only a few stuttering sounds escaped his mouth, but eventually he managed one coherent word. "Werewolf!"

_Shit,_ thought James.

x-x-x-x-x

James had left Snape in Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster had listened very solemnly to everything the two boys had to say, and had eventually dismissed James, looking very serious indeed. James had traipsed back to the Gryffindor tower and collapsed onto his bed, as Sirius and Peter gawped at him, dumbstruck. James realised they must have observed everything, or near enough, on the map: Snape's disappearance into the tunnel, followed by James, and their re-emergence together, had told them all they needed to know.

Sirius seemed to have registered, in James' absence, what he had almost done. James had worried that Sirius would be angry with him, thinking he was somehow responsible for the trouble Sirius would inevitably be in in the morning, but his friend had instead greeted him with his face set in grim resignation.

Come the morning, Sirius was summoned to the Headmaster's office and Remus, who had not seen James and Snape in the tunnel and as such had no memory of the incident, understandably wanted to know why; and why, also, he had never been joined in the Shack by Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. James explained wearily, and Remus listened, clearly horrified by what he was hearing.

"I can't believe," Remus said when James had finished, "That even Sirius would be so stupid."

"He was angry," James said, keen to defend his friend even where no defence seemed possible. "And I don't think he really meant for you to bite Snape."

"What else could he have meant? What did he think was going to happen?" Remus was looking disgusted, though it was hard to tell whether his disgust was directed mostly at Sirius, or himself. After all, having to discuss the idea that he would ever bite another person must be highly distasteful to him.

"I don't think he thought at all," James replied honestly. He buried his head in his hands, leaning forwards and rocking slightly as he sat on the end of his bed. "And now I've saved Snivellus' life. How am I ever going to live that down?"

"Well, I daresay Lily will be impressed, at least," Remus remarked dryly. The werewolf was curled up in his own bed, bleary eyed and clearly exhausted.

James gave a derisive snort. "I can't even tell her, can I? Not without exposing you for what you really are. To be honest I didn't even think of her at all anyway. I have absolutely no acceptable motive for saving Snivellus."

"Apart from not wanting another boy to die, or worse, become like me," Remus pointed out fairly. "Even when he's your worst enemy. I'd say that's more than an acceptable motive – more like downright medal-worthy."

James looked up at him. "Yeah? Sirius is in deep shit, Snape's still alive because I had an inconvenient moment of chivalry, and I can't even play the hero to Lily. Nothing about this situation is anything less than a nightmare."

"Apart," responded Remus, with barely disguised impatience, "From the fact that you are not in deep shit yourself, you'll probably be Dumbledore's golden boy for as long as you both live, and most wonderful of all, you're not a werewolf and don't have to go through hell once a month for the rest of your life."

With that, Remus rolled over and went back to sleep, and James, stung but uncomfortably aware that his friend had a point, slunk out of the dormitory and down to the grounds for Herbology.

x-x-x-x-x

James and Peter found themselves alone for their lessons all day. Their teachers were used to Remus occasionally feeling too unwell to attend classes the day after full moon, and didn't comment. Nor did they say anything when Sirius never emerged, and James began to worry deeply. What if Dumbledore had thrown Sirius out on the spot? Perhaps the teachers already knew he was never coming back, and that was why they didn't remark upon his absence?

The Gryffindor students shared Herbology with the Slytherins, and Rosa approached James and Peter, looking anxious. "Where's Sirius?"

As the three of them worked together to prune a Fanged Geranium, James filled her in on the events of the previous night. A dark look crossed over Rosa's face as he finished. "I see."

James didn't pursue the subject any further. While he was getting to like Rosa, he didn't know her well and wasn't sure he was capable of such a serious conversation with her just yet.

By the end of lessons, James was truly convinced that Sirius was gone, never to return. It was therefore a relief when he walked into the Gryffindor Common Room and found Sirius in an armchair by the fire, looking more than a little sorry for himself but very definitely still in school, and accompanied by Remus.

"Sirius!" James crossed the room immediately and fell into the nearest armchair to Sirius' own. "What happened?"

"Dumbledore gave me a two hour bollocking and sent me back to class," said Sirius gloomily. "But I didn't really feel like to going to lessons so I came here instead. I'm in detention every evening until the end of term, and Dumbledore's writing to my parents. Though if I let them know Snape's a halfblood they'll be proud rather than angry, so frankly I'm much more bothered about the detentions."

James stared at his friend, exasperated. "You're upset about a few detentions? I thought they'd have kicked you out!"

"So did I for a bit," admitted Sirius, "But Dumbledore spun a load of crap about how we all make mistakes when we're young and foolish so I knew I'd got away with it. Well, if this is getting away with it."

James gave an immense sigh of relief. "Yes, Sirius, I'd say this is very much getting away with it."

"One other thing."

James and Sirius turned to face Remus, who still looked very tired. "What's up?" asked James.

"I was thinking about what you were saying this morning, about it being a waste not being able to tell Lily." Remus took a deep breath. "So I found her myself today and told her everything."

James paused, frowning. "Everything?"

"Everything," said Remus, seriously.

James sat back, trying to get his head round this news. Remus had exposed his deepest, darkest secrets just to help him, James, impress Lily. He couldn't quite believe it and he knew he didn't deserve it.

"So what now?" he pressed urgently. "Was she impressed? Pleased? Hopelessly overwhelmed with passion?"

Remus looked uncomfortable. "Not exactly."

"What do you mean, not exactly?"

Well…" Remus paused, sighed, and continued. "To be honest, I think she was sort of focusing on the wrong bit of the story. Although that's understandable really, when you think about it."

"What are you on about?" James frowned, but within seconds it became obvious as the Fat Lady's portrait swung open and Lily stormed into the room, looking absolutely furious. "Sirius Black," she bellowed, her voice carrying across the whole Common Room, "I am going to _kill you._"


	9. Reward and Punishment

**AN: Fair warning, this chapter's about as M as this story's going to get. In other news, sorry it took so long to upload the artwork, my scanner's been playing up. Anyway, enjoy :)**

Sirius acted fast. Not wanting the argument to be carried out in front of the whole Common Room, for Remus' sake if not for his own, he leapt up, grabbed Lily's wrist and began to drag her upstairs to his dormitory. He trusted that James, Remus and Peter would divert Frank if necessary and they could therefore have their inevitable row in private.

Lily tugged her arm out of his grip but followed him willingly. Apparently she, too, was mindful that Remus would not want his situation shared with the whole of Gryffindor house. As soon as they were in the dormitory and she had slammed the door shut behind them, however, she let rip.

"What in Merlin's name were you thinking? I get why you might want to be unpleasant to Sev. I would even, considering what a prat he's being to your girlfriend, understand if you might want to hex him now and then. But to try to kill him? Or have poor Remus bite him and turn him into... into… into one of _those?_ What the fuck is wrong with you, Sirius?"

Sirius looked at her helplessly. "Lily, I wasn't thinking…"

But this, unsurprisingly, did not placate her. As she set off on a lengthy and violent diatribe, Sirius reflected that the two hour lecture from Dumbledore had been almost enjoyable in comparison. Lily's hair, which she had been wearing thrown up into a messy bun, was coming dislodged as she shook her head in fury, red curls falling unchecked around her face. Her face was becoming flushed as she screamed herself hoarse, and her green eyes flashed ferociousy, never leaving his face.

Sirius let her keep shouting until she seemed to run out of steam. Eventually she stopped, and just stood, gaping at him for a few moments. The, to his surprise and horror, she burst into tears.

"Lil?" Sirius hurried over, took her hand, and led her to sit on James' bed. She sank down onto it, burying her face in her hands, and Sirius, unsure what he was supposed to say next, knelt on the floor beside her, willing her to stop. "Lil, I'm so sorry, I really am. I didn't mean… I just didn't think. I swear I didn't really want to hurt Snape, and I definitely didn't want to upset you…" His pleadings sounded somewhat empty, as even he was aware.

She looked up at him, her eyes brimming with furious reproach. "You didn't really want to hurt him?" she repeated incredulously.

"No! I swear, I was just trying to scare him a bit."

"Yeah, well, he deserved that." Sirius was surprised to hear the words coming out of Lily's mouth. "And worse, maybe."

"You don't mean that," Sirius told her seriously. "You know he didn't… I should never have…"

"No, you shouldn't." Her tone was suddenly fierce again. "What were you thinking, you vile little shit?"

"I told you, I wasn't," Sirius repeated wearily, getting to his feet and sitting down on the bed beside her. "I can't explain this, Lily. Not to you, not to Dumbledore, not to anyone."

She was silent for a few moments, then asked him, quiet and miserable again, "How do you manage it?"

"Manage what?" asked Sirius, thrown. Her sudden apparent schizophrenia was beginning to unsettle him.

"To ignore how people get at you and Rosa."

"Mostly they don't," Sirius told her. He had come to realise the truth of this sentiment over the past few weeks, and it had surprised him, but actually, Death-Nibblers aside, no one was remotely bothered by his and Rosa's relationship, and apart from their friends (or rather, his friends – he wasn't sure that Rosa had anyone she would really call a friend) no one was really particularly interested by it either. "And I think this whole mess shows that as far as the few who do are concerned, I'm not coping with it at all."

She gave a sad little chuckle. "I guess. So you wanted revenge on Sev, fair enough… well, not fair enough, but understandable anyway… and what, James just went along with it for a laugh, and got cold feet? Or was he just engineering a way for him to save Sev so he could show off to me?"

"What?" Sirius was genuinely flabbergasted. "Lily, James shad no idea about any of it. He didn't go along with this at all. I guess part of me knew he'd try to stop me so I never told him what I was planning."

"If he didn't know about the plan, how did he know when to save Sev?"

Sirius sighed. The map was supposed to be a secret, but he supposed he would have to show her. He found it in his bedside cabinet and muttered the magic words: "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Lily's eyes widened as she examined the parchment. "This is incredible… Where did you get this?"

"We made it," Sirius told her. "Me, James, Remus, and Peter. We three did the magic and it turns out Peter's quite good at drawing, so he did most of the design work. It was nice to make him feel useful for once."

Lily was frowning at the names scrolled across the top of the map. "Why does it say _Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs?_"

Sirius snatched the map back off her. "Never mind," he said hurriedly, and muttered the words "Mischief managed," wiping the parchment clean. "Anyway, the point is, James saw Snape wandering about outside and said it was weird, and I told him it was because I'd told him how to get to Remus."

"So James didn't orchestrate this to impress me?" asked Lily, after a pause.

"Definitely not. I don't think he was even thinking about you. He didn't think he'd be able to tell you, did he? Not without exposing Remus."

"So why did Remus tell me?"

"Because he knows how much James likes you and he thought he'd put himself on the line for his mate," Sirius told her bluntly. He was sure James would have preferred something far more cool and detached, but he was beginning to feel like James and Lily were incapable of being straight with each other so he was going to have to do it for them.

Lily stared blankly into the middle distance for a few moments. Then, taking Sirius thoroughly by surprise, she wrapped an arm around his waist and snuggled into his shoulder. Sirius slung his arm awkwardly around her shoulders. They stayed like that for a couple of seconds when she suddenly sprang up off the bed. "I'm still mad with you, Sirius!"

"Er, right." Sirius was thoroughly flummoxed but had resigned himself to the fact that nothing about this encounter was ever going to make sense, so he didn't bother asking why, if she was so mad at him, she had just hugged him.

"Yes!" And with that, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the dormitory.

In less than a minute, James, Remus and Peter were tumbling into the room, eager to know what had happened. Sirius, unsure he would ever find the words to explain, decided just to laugh it off. "You know, I think I'd rather have done another round with Dumbledore," he told them, as they all bustled around him pestering him with questions. He was so unforthcoming that they abandoned the attempt, and instead all began to pile back downstairs into the Common Room on their way to the Great Hall for dinner. James, however, grabbed Sirius' arm, making him wait.

"Did you two… you know?"

"No?" Sirius did know, of course, but he was going to make James say it; he was sick of his friend's feigned detachment.

"Did you talk about me?" James was reddening as he spoke.

"Oh. Yeah. She thought you planned the whole thing so you could boast to her, I told her you didn't, I think she believed me," Sirius told him. He decided not to mention that he had told Lily plainly that James liked her a lot. He wasn't sure his friend would appreciate it, somehow.

"Right." James looked as though he was deep in thought. "Well, thanks, mate."

He punched Sirius on the arm, and the pair left the dormitory to follow their friends downstairs for dinner.

x-x-x-x-x

As they walked into the Great Hall they found that Rosa had already joined Remus and Peter. They sat down, and Rosa immediately turned to Sirius. "What were you thinking?"

"Er, what?" asked Sirius. He looked up at Remus, assuming that his friend had already told her what had happened, but Remus just shrugged.

"James told me why you weren't in Herbology," she told him sternly. "I've been freaking out all day."

"Oh." Sirius didn't really know what else to say.

"I mean, it was completely unnecessary," she pressed on, eyeballing him earnestly. "Don't you get it? Snape and his little friends don't bother me. They wouldn't dare."

"Especially not after last night," muttered James, and Rosa turned to him, her eyes suddenly flashing. "I don't need Sirius to look after me, James," she snarled. "Or anyone else, for that matter."

Sirius was struck in that moment how similar she was, in anger, to Lily. Her eyes, though warm amber to Lily's green, had the same deathly glint in them.

James backed down instantly. "I'm sure you don't," he told her weakly, and busied himself with his plate. Rosa turned back to Sirius. "Sirius, I mean it. I don't need you running around trying to protect me. And definitely not like that. Has it occurred to how much trouble you could have been in?"

"I'm in quite a lot already," Sirius pointed out, but James, never supressed for long, gave a snort. "A few detentions? I keep telling you, mate, you got off ridiculously lightly."

"Every night til the end of term," protested Sirius. "Straight after dinner."

"Including tonight?" Rosa was scrutinising him closely. Sirius nodded. "Some sort of paperwork for McGonagall, I think."

"Could be worse," said Remus dismissively. "Remember that time Filch had us polishing everything in the Trophy Room, while he whinged about how he couldn't hang us off the top of the Astronomy Tower by our ankles?"

"That was nothing," James butted in. "They went easy on us that time because you were with us, and no one wanted to punish the golden boy too harshly." Remus made a derisive noise, as James continued. "I think the worst detention ever was probably when we had to help Hagrid clear all that gillyweed out of the lake."

"I quite enjoyed that," reflected Sirius. "Hagrid just let us mess around. No, worst detention ever was definitely when Kettleburn had us cleaning out the fire crabs."

James winced. "Actually, yeah. It took weeks for those burns to heal."

"I still have a scar," said Sirius matter-of-factly, tucking into his sausages. Rosa was looking increasingly incredulous. "Just how much time have you two spent in detention?"

James and Sirius exchanged a look that clearly said this was something of a matter of pride for them. "We've lost track," James told her breezily, helping himself to more mashed potato as Remus rolled his eyes. "Lots."

"Hmm." Rosa did not look particularly impressed, but Remus, presumably feeling that it would be unhelpful to pursue the issue any further, hurriedly changed the subject.

As they finished eating, Sirius got up to go to McGonagall's office. Just as he was leaving, however, Rosa grabbed his arm, making him wait. She indicated for him to come closer, and he bent down so she could whisper in his ear. "Come to the Room of Requirement when you're finished."

Confused and with slight trepidation, Sirius nodded once and then hurried away. All things considered he didn't think that being late would be a good idea.

He knocked on McGonagall's door, and only had to wait a moment before her clipped tones were bidding him to enter. He slunk into the room, doing his very best 'guilty and defeated' act. He hoped that this would inspire her to be more lenient.

Of course, tricks like this rarely worked with McGonagall. She didn't even look up as he entered, instead continuing to pour over the essays she was marking. "Sit," she told him crisply, and he obeyed. He noticed as he did so that there was a huge box of books on the floor by her desk.

"That's a new delivery for the transfiguration section of the library," said McGonagall, gesturing at the box, still without looking up. "The library inventory is on the desk in front of you. You are to enter all the books in the box into the inventory and fill out a cover sheet for each book, to be stuck inside the front cover. The paperwork should all be self-explanatory. Begin."

Barely suppressing a groan, Sirius delved into the box. The forms, both the cover sheets and the date records in the inventory, were indeed self-explanatory, but it was incredibly dull work, not to mention the fact that the books were all hefty tomes, making the job surprisingly tiring. It took him over an hour to finish the box, and throughout that time McGonagall sat on the other side of the desk, steadily marking essays. Once he was done, he gave a polite cough to draw her attention to the fact, and she glanced up. "That was fast work, Black. You may go. Report to Professor Slughorn's office at the same time tomorrow."

Sirius nodded to show he had understood and left hastily, before she could change her mind and decide to find something else for him to do. As he hurried down the corridor, he could feel the nerves rising in the pit of his stomach. What did Rosa want?

They hadn't been to the Room of Requirement since the night they had been caught by James and Snape. They hadn't really needed to; now that the whole school knew about them, Sirius could kiss his girlfriend openly in public, with no need to hide in the secret room.

He arrived opposite the tapestry that hung outside the room, and thought clearly, S_how me where Rosa is._ The familiar doorway appeared in the wall and Sirius entered, hardly daring to imagine what might be waiting for him on the other side.

What he had not been expecting was to see a double four-poster bed, and Rosa, unusually dressed in muggle clothes, sitting cross-legged at the foot of the bed, facing him and chewing her lip nervously.

Sirius walked very slowly towards her, trying very hard not to jump to conclusions. "Rosa?"

She held out her arms and he went to her, taking her slim hands in his own. "Rosa, what is this?"

"What do you think it is?" Her sarcasm didn't quite hide the anxious tremble in her voice.

"But…" Sirius looked up at the hangings on the bed, lost for words. He hadn't tried to do anything more than kiss Rosa since the last time they were in this room, nearly a month ago. Unless he was getting completely the wrong end of the stick, and he didn't think he was, then what Rosa was proposing would be a huge leap for them.

"I know I said I can look after myself," said Rosa quietly, and Sirius looked back to stare into her amber eyes, which had taken on a seriousness he had never seen in them before. "And I can. I don't want you fighting my battles for me. But even so…"

"Yes?" Sirius knew he was trembling, and that she would be able to feel it from the way his hands shook in hers.

"You were so angry to think that Snape had hurt me that you quite literally tried to kill him," said Rosa seriously. "I'm not saying I approve but as gestures go, that was quite a big one."

Sirius didn't bother to protest that he hadn't exactly been trying to kill Snape. Instead he moved round to sit on the bed beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "You know I'd do anything for you," he said, and he meant it. "But Rosa, that doesn't mean you have to do… this." He patted the bed with his spare hand. "I mean… I don't want to do anything you might regret."

"Don't patronise me." She didn't sound angry, but at the same time her voice made it quite clear that she didn't want to hear any further argument. "I know I don't have to do anything, but I want to and I've decided I'm going to. Because…"

She hesitated. It was obvious that there was something she wanted to say but couldn't bring herself to do so. Sirius thought he knew what it was. At least, he hoped he did, because in that moment he had made up his mind to say it himself, and the idea that he might say it and not hear it back didn't bear thinking about.

He slid a hand up her arm and neck, cupping her face very gently in his palm, and carefully turned her face towards his own. Hoping that he wasn't about to make a total idiot out of himself, he murmured, very quietly, "Rosa, I love you."

The relief on her face matched his own on seeing it. "I love you too, Sirius," she breathed, and he locked his lips to hers, utterly ecstatic. They kissed for a very long moment, then Sirius, his arms wrapped around her, pulled her closer to him as he lowered himself onto the bed, so that they were lying side by side, facing one another. His hand found her pert breast once again, finally after a month of waiting, and he massaged her as they continued to kiss deeply.

After a while, Rosa pulled away slightly, and sat up. Sirius too sat up, as without taking her eyes away from his for a moment, Rosa began to unbutton her top. Sirius hardly dared to look as she shrugged off the green blouse, leaving her in just her jeans and a lilac lace bra. Still holding his gaze, she slowly unbuttoned her jeans and wriggled clumsily out of them, revealing that she was wearing a matching set.

As she sat in front of him in her underwear, Sirius saw the fear in her face and understood that she was terrified lest he should give any indication that he didn't like what he saw. Her anxiety was of course thoroughly unfounded; Sirius didn't think he had ever seen anything more hypnotically lovely in his entire life. So as to reassure her, he reached out and pulled her back into him, kissing her softly and repeatedly. Without her clothes she suddenly felt much smaller and more vulnerable in his arms, and Sirius knew that he had her at an unfair advantage.

If you had asked him only a few minutes previously, Sirius would have said that there was nothing more he wanted to do than see Rosa naked, and equally to have her see him. Now that the moment had arrived, however, he was gripped by a wave of dread. What if she laughed? What if she took one look at him and changed her mind about everything?

Then he remembered the last words she had spoken and with sudden resolve, Sirius began hurriedly to pull off his robes, as quickly as possible before he had time to change his mind. Again their gazes locked, and he stared into the amber depths of her eyes until he was down to just his black boxer shorts. She nestled against his chest once again and he drank her in, relishing the feel of her bare skin against his own. He could feel her everywhere, making him tingle all over, and he felt himself begin to grow, only surprised that he had managed to hold off this long. She felt it too and pulled back, staring up into his face. He wished that she didn't look so nervous; but then he imagined that her face was probably only a mirror of his own.

"Are you sure?" he whispered. She didn't reprimand him for arguing with her this time, or accuse him of being patronising. She just nodded, very slowly, biting again on her lower lip.

He dipped to kiss her neck, and she wrapped her arms more tightly around his back, gripping as though she was never going to let go. "Are you nervous?" she murmured into his ear.

Sirius sat up to look her in the eye. "Yes," he told her honestly. There was no use lying. She must know how scared he was, must be able to sense it; and anyway, it might reassure her to know that he was just as unsettled as she was. Which was not to say that he didn't want what was about to happen – he did, very much – but at this moment his nerves were equal to if not outweighing his excitement.

She nodded. "Me too." She arched her body up, pressing against him as she kissed him. "But there's no one else I'd ever want to be this scared with."

Sirius kissed her harder, pulling her in as close as he could to him, overwhelmed by desire and love. He was utterly lost in her, filled only with the knowledge that he never, ever wanted to let her go. Consumed by a sudden mutual energy, they hurriedly tugged off one another's underwear until they lay, utterly naked, in each other's arms.

Sirius ran his hand tenderly up her side and looped it around the back of her neck, staring into her eyes. "I love you," he told her simply, for the second time that night.

She just nodded this time, and they gazed at one another for a few moments more before proceeding, carefully, awkwardly, but honestly, to show one another just how much they really did love each other.

x-x-x-x-x

After what felt like a lifetime, they were lying, both panting slightly, on the bed. They had burrowed under the covers and Sirius wrapped his arms tightly around his girlfriend, who let her head nuzzle into his chest.

It took a while for Sirius to ask the question that had been bothering him for some minutes. "Did it… did it hurt, for you?"

She hesitated. "Yes," she replied honestly after a moment, "But not badly. And it's supposed to, I think, the first time."

Sirius tightened his hold. He too had heard that a girl's first time was usually painful, but the idea that he had caused Rosa any kind of pain, especially when all he himself had felt was a blissful ecstasy unlike anything he could previously have imagined, was almost unbearable. "Stop worrying," she said, as though reading his mind. "I'm fine, I promise." He felt her lips against his chest and relaxed a little, though he still felt slightly guilty.

They lay together for some time, Sirius stroking his thumb gently up and down her arm in a soothing, repetitive motion.

"Sirius?" Rosa piped up suddenly.

"Hmm?" Sirius responded sleepily.

"You know when you were being sorted? Why did you look so angry?"

Sirius tensed immediately. For one thing, the question had taken him aback completely, coming seemingly from nowhere. For another, he had never discussed this with anyone. But then there had never been anyone quite like Rosa in his life.

"When I sat down the hat wanted to put me in Slytherin," he told her reluctantly. "And I really, really didn't want to go there."

"Ah no, of course," she mused quietly. "God forbid."

Once again, Sirius pulled her closer, suddenly angry with his own stupidity. "I've grown up since then," he told her sincerely. "And try to understand. It wasn't Slytherin so much as my family. I knew I had to be different, and what better way to show them that than to be sorted into Gryffindor?"

"So you asked the hat for that?"

"Yeah. Well, more demanded to be honest."

She chuckled softly. "Oh, I can imagine."

"It didn't put up too much of a fight," Sirius continued. He had replayed those terrible few moments in his head so many times, trying to convince himself that the hat had been mistaken even to think of Slytherin. "It changed to Gryffindor pretty much straight away, I think it realised it was wrong."

"I think it made the right choice in the end," said Rosa quietly, and he loved her all the more for it. "Though being in Slytherin might not have been as terrible for you as you might imagine."

"I'm sure it wouldn't," he conceded hurriedly, uncomfortably aware that this entire conversation was making him sound like the ignorant snake-hater that, until very recently, he really had been. "The hat took a long time over you," he continued, eager to deflect the conversation away from himself.

She chortled slightly. "Yes, I really stumped it. I think the only thing it was sure about was that I didn't belong in Hufflepuff."

Sirius laughed. "Yeah, I think it was right there," he agreed. "So it considered Gryffindor, for you?"

"Yes," said Rosa, "but not for very long. It was mostly a long debate between Slytherin and Ravenclaw."

"You're easily clever enough for Ravenclaw," Sirius told her warmly, and she nestled closer to him in response. "Well, anyway, I ended up a snake. And how much longer, do you think, we would have had together, if I hadn't?"

Sirius' stomach churned as he remembered his four year hate campaign. "I'm sorry," he said hopelessly, burying his face into her fiery hair. There really was nothing else to say.

She looked up at him, her eyes serious and sincere. "It doesn't matter," she told him, and he could tell she meant it. "None of that matters anymore." She laid her head against his chest again and opened her eyes. "We're here now, and nothing else is important."

x-x-x-x-x

James was staggering back up to Gryffindor Tower late after an evening Quidditch practice. He had worked his team long after darkness had fallen, and it had taken him some time to realise that his players, probably a little resentful, had been sneaking away one by one in the darkness to escape back up to the castle. It was only when he had aimed the Quaffle at the goal hoops and realised that Clarke, the Keeper, had disappeared that he noticed that only he, Frank and Alice were left on the pitch. Thanking them brusquely for their time he had watched them retreat back up towards the castle as he wrestled the practice Bludgers back into their case. Finally now he was trudging up the steps towards the tower when suddenly Lily Evans appeared in the doorway to an empty classroom.

"Potter!"

_What now?_ James groaned inwardly. He hadn't seen Lily since she had dragged Sirius off to lecture him, and he was not inclined to speak to her now. He had saved her best friend's life and she still hadn't come running. His patience was starting to wear thin.

Even so, he followed her into the classroom, mentally preparing himself in case, however irrationally, he was in for a screamed lecture.

Nothing could have been further from the truth.

Lily turned to face him, and he was struck by how small she looked. Small, and anxious. "Are you okay, Lily?" he asked sincerely, but she waved his words away, looking impatient. "You saved Sev's life."

"Er, yes," he agreed cautiously. "I guess I did."

"Why?"

"Er…" He couldn't help wondering where she was going with this. "Because even though I don't like him I didn't feel like he deserved to die?" he suggested, hoping this was the right thing to say. After all, it was all academic; he wasn't even sure himself why he had bothered.

She nodded slowly a few times and then, without warning, crossed the room in three strides and kissed him hard.

James reeled in shock. After a moment he regained enough awareness to wrap his hands around her waist, but he found himself unable to take control of the kiss; her lips moved against his with a ferocity that took his breath away.

And then, as suddenly as it had begun, the kiss ended. She pulled away from him and stared into his eyes, her expression defensive. "There!" she snapped at him, and stormed out of the classroom.

James was left standing by the blackboard, his fingers pressed against his own lips as though hoping to find some trace of the kiss left behind. He had no idea what had just happened. Had that been his breakthrough moment? Was Lily finally going to agree to go out with him? Or was it an inexplicable one-off? The look she had given him as she left had been more angry and defiant than loving and tender, which didn't exactly bode well. But then, she had kissed him, hadn't she?

His mind racing, James began slowly to make his way up to the Gryffindor Common Room. Only one coherent thought managed to present itself; until he had a better idea of what had happened and what it all meant, he wouldn't be telling anyone what had happened in that classroom – not even Sirius.


	10. OWLs

For Sirius, the next few months passed in a whirlwind of ecstasy. He had never been so consistently happy in his entire life, and he told Rosa so, repeatedly. Even his looming exams couldn't hurt his mood; Sirius knew that he was clever, and if his marks didn't reflect that (which they would, anyway) then it would be the system's fault, not his, he told himself confidently.

Remus lacked Sirius' confidence, even though deep down he knew that of all the Marauders, he had the least to worry about. On the other hand, his life had definitely improved since his friends had managed to become animagi, and despite his earlier misgivings, he now actually looked forward to their moonlit escapades once a month. The fact that he could now enjoy his transformations, and not go through hell every four weeks, gave him a new energy, and while he still spent every waking moment studying, his panic lacked the despair with which it otherwise would have been laced.

Peter, as always, bumbled through, taking his lead primarily from James, laughing off his fears whilst secretly working through the nights so that his heroes, James and Sirius, couldn't see how nervous he really was about the impending examinations.

As for James, he had found a new surge of hope since Lily had kissed him. True, she hadn't done so again since – in fact she had gone back to her old aggressive self, had rejected him repeatedly and slapped him twice, once, mortifyingly, in front of Snape – but now he knew, with an unwavering confidence, that she wanted him. In the face of all evidence to the contrary, he continued to believe that at some point quite soon she would come running back to him and he would have won.

He still hadn't told anyone about the kiss. This was partly because he didn't want Sirius and Remus asking tauntingly why, if she had kissed him once, she was being so hostile now (not a point James liked to dwell on, since he didn't like to admit that he had no satisfactory answer), but mostly because there are some things, he had come to realise, that don't merit sharing. That moment was his and his alone, and no one, not even Sirius, needed to share it with him. At last he began to see why Sirius had concealed his relationship with Rosa for as long as he had, and felt a fresh stab of guilty every time he remembered his own response to that secrecy. Of course, he didn't remember it very often; James never liked to recall anything that portrayed himself in a bad light.

Quidditch was over for the year. James' side had won its matches against Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, but so had the Slytherins, who took the cup. Obviously it galled him to see Rosier lifting the trophy above his head, cheered on by snakes and Death Nibblers, but James had at least managed to congratulate Rosa, not only politely, but sincerely too. She had just shrugged. "I don't think I'll play next year," she had responded, and James thought he knew why. The rest of her team, Sirius' own brother included, were still treating her as if she no longer existed, and he imagined that winning the cup (and scoring most of the Slytherin goals, come to that) was something of a hollow victory in the circumstances.

Sirius had observed this conversation with narrowed eyes, but he seemed to have taken Rosa's declaration that she could take care of herself to heart. Certainly none of the Slytherins ever bothered her, and having observed her proficiency with a wand, James could see why. The silent treatment didn't seem to worry her anyway, and besides, she spent the majority of her time with the Marauders, and most of the Gryffindors seemed to have just accepted her as an honorary member.

Sirius had, at Easter, resumed his practice of coming to James' house for the holidays (Rosa was with her parents, and they had agreed that it was too early for Sirius to come and stay with her just yet – not to mention, as of course he didn't, the fact that the very idea of meeting her family terrified him). While there, Sirius had made two confessions to James. The first was that he was in love with Rosa. This had taken James aback slightly, as his friend had never shown any interest in girls before her, and yet in the space of a term seemed to have become utterly besotted with the red-head. Having never felt anything like that himself, James had been unsure what to say, but he hoped that Sirius could tell that he was happy for him.

The second confession had been that he had slept with Rosa. In many ways this was easier to deal with; whilst James had never really considered whether he loved Lily Evans, he knew with all certainty that he wanted to be with her in that sense, and he could hardly blame Sirius for taking the chance when it was offered to him. On the other hand, it did make him feel slightly awkward. Sirius had mentioned it in an off-hand sort of manner, and they had never discussed details. James still didn't know when or where or how often, and although he was itching to ask all these questions and more, he couldn't. Part of him still didn't like the fact that Sirius had entered that world – a world still full of mystery to James – before him, and he didn't want to ask questions lest he should draw attention to his own innocence.

After Easter their workloads had taken another step up, and instead of the Gryffindor Common Room the Marauders and Rosa could now usually be found in a particular corner of the library. It was here that James had realised that Rosa and Lily had, at some stage, become firm friends. He had arrived late one evening with Sirius, Remus and Peter, and found the two girls almost hidden behind a stack of books, deep in conversation. Sirius had not seemed perturbed by this development, but it bothered James, if only for a moment, that Lily was apparently so close to Rosa, who was practically an honorary Marauder by now, and yet still avoided hanging around with them. But then he reminded himself once again that she had kissed him, and dismissed his concern, reassuring himself that one day soon she would be throwing herself at him again.

Unfortunately it hadn't happened by the time the fifth years were traipsing into their first OWL exam, History of Magic, but James wasn't worried. Or at least he told himself he wasn't, which was about the same thing.

The exams passed in a flurry of nerves, last minute revision, and very little sleep. Remus and Rosa had retracted into near constant quiet, apparently shutting the others out as far as possible as they read and reread their notes in a sort of silent panic. Several times Rosa fell asleep in the library, at which point Sirius would wake her up and insist on walking her back to the Slytherin Common Room. He now knew where the entrance was, but had never gone in; he and Rosa had never discussed it, but they both knew it would be a bad idea. Peter had abandoned his pretence of disinterest and had lapsed into a total panic, flapping perpetually around the library but never really seeming to do any work. Even James and Sirius, whilst stolidly presenting a front of calm and boredom, were working hard, and increasingly regretting their previous apathy and laziness.

And yet they got through it all, and finally it was the afternoon of their penultimate exam. After their Defence Against the Dark Arts practical in the morning, they sat for what was almost the last time in the rows of desks for the written paper.

James finished the exam early and spent the last few minutes idly doodling; Lily was sat some way in front of him and to the left, and he found himself embellishing her initials on the foot of his parchment. He hurriedly scribbled them out when Flitwick barked for them to stop and watched with immense satisfaction as his paper bulleted across the hall, knocking the tiny professor off his feet. He, Sirius, Remus and Peter flocked out of the room ahead Lily, Rosa, Alice, and Clara, who were chattering intensely amongst themselves, sharing their appreciation for the fact that one of the questions had concerned werewolves, something of a specialist subject for all of them.

The Marauders headed down to the lake and settled on the bank, where Remus, ever mindful that they had one last exam left, whipped out _Intermediate Transfiguration_ and submerged himself in it. James, who felt he had earned a break, rummaged in his robes and found the Snitch he had stolen a few days previously. Sirius, clearly bored, had settled himself on the tree stump, watching the other students milling up to the castle. James knew he was looking for Rosa, but James had already spotted her, sitting with the other girls at the water's edge. Now that the weather had improved, the lakeside was no longer the private place it had been during the winter.

"I'm bored," grumbled Sirius – he too had spotted Rosa, and established that she probably wouldn't be coming over any time soon, since she was deep in conversation with Alice. "Wish it was full moon."

As Remus began to grumble something about Transfiguration, with which Sirius was clearly unimpressed, James spotted Snape, who had been sitting on the grass surrounded by bushes, not far away from them.

James' tolerance of Snape had waxed and waned as the year went by. On the one hand, he was still aware that Lily didn't like it when he bullied Snape, which was something of an incentive not to do so. On the other, Snape's open disgust with Rosa, his utter lack of gratitude towards James after he had saved his life, and his continuing closeness with Lily, galled James immensely, and today, buoyed by what he was sure had been a successful exam, he set his misgivings aside and decided to provide Sirius, whose overt hatred for Snape had never diminished for a moment, with the entertainment he wanted.

He quietly pointed the Slytherin out to Sirius, who looked delighted, as did Peter. Remus was staring determinedly at his book; James knew that his friend privately objected to their bullying campaign, and could only live with himself by pretending he didn't see it.

James, telling himself he was being sporting by providing a warning, yelled at Snape before he disarmed him. After all, there was no doubt that had Snape had the opportunity, he would have hexed all four Marauders as quick as blinking. As Snape scrabbled for his wand, Sirius blocked him, and the two advanced on Snape, wands drawn. A little crowd was gathering, and James was pleased. The more public Snivellus' humiliation the better, so far as he was concerned.

As they taunted him, James was keeping one eye on Lily. In truth this display was partly for her. He was bored of her continuing coldness, and beginning to feel that if she wasn't going to give him what he wanted, there was no point in his being on his best behaviour for her.

Sure enough, it wasn't long before she came storming over. "Leave him alone!" she demanded, and Rosa was right behind her, giving Sirius a look. Sirius lowered his wand reluctantly, but James just ruffled his hair. "All right, Evans?"

Lily hit him with the full force of her glare as she admonished him, but James didn't let the smirk leave his face. He casually parried her protestations, and then, when he could tell that she was truly wound up, he delivered his ultimatum. "I'll let him go if you go out with me, Evans," he told her lazily. "I'll never touch Snivelly again."

She rejected him, of course she did. James hadn't expected anything else; but he was distracted for a moment and didn't noticed Snape retrieving his wand until Sirius barked a warning. He spun back to Snape just as the Slytherin waved his wand, and James felt a searing pain across his left cheek. He gasped and clasped a hand to his face, but wasn't off-guard for long; with a flick of his own wand Snape was suddenly hovering, suspended in mid-air, upside down, his robes falling down around him to expose his rather old, grubby underwear.

There was a cheer, and for a moment James thought that even Lily was on the verge of laughter, but no such luck. After a mere heartbeat she was protesting again, and James, who had had his fun and was now feeling less and less as though baiting Lily in this way was a good idea, let Snape tumble to the ground. Snape stumbled up but Sirius instantly hit him with the full body-binder, and at this point, it seemed, Lily had had enough. Whipping out her own wand, she pointed it in James and Sirius' general direction, alternating between the two as they tried to stare her down. James was aware that Sirius was looking to Rosa for help, but she just stood behind Lily, her arms folded, a grim expression on her face.

"Don't make me hex you, Evans," said James, trying to sound sincere, though he knew, and so did she, that he would never have the gall.

"Let him go," she demanded, and James, sighing, lifted the curse. "Good thing Evans was looking out for you, you vile little snake," he spat, and turned away.

"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!"

The atmosphere suddenly became very cold. Remus, who had been studiously ignoring the whole encounter, looked up from his book. Rosa's wand was in her hand and she looked very much as though she might use it. Sirius took a step towards Snape. Before James or anyone else had time to react properly, however, Lily was speaking. "Fine," she told Snape defiantly. "I won't bother in future. _Snivellus._"

She turned away, but James, who had seen the hurt momentarily flash across her face, and the pain in Snape's as his only real friend turned her back on him, was consumed with fresh rage. Brandishing his wand, he bellowed, "Apologise to Evans, you bastard!"

What he hadn't expected was for Lily to turn on him, launching into another diatribe. He found himself unable to even listen to the specifics; he was too busy being furious that she was still take Snape's side over his. Even after he had used… that word.

Lily stormed off, and Clara and Alice followed her. Rosa was still standing there, glowering at Snape, who scrambled to his feet and made to escape. "Oh no you don't," snarled James, and within moments Snape was hanging in the air again. He couldn't even be sure whether it was he or Sirius who had cast the jinx first.

James was determined that this time Snape would be truly humiliated, both to punish him for calling Lily a mudblood, and to punish Lily for still, apparently, preferring him to James. But then, finally, Rosa spoke up. "Let him go, Sirius."

James turned to his friend, willing him to ignore his girlfriend, but after a long hesitation, Sirius just shrugged at James. "Sorry, mate," he said, and tucked his wand back into his pocket. Rosa gave a curt nod and turned to follow Lily up to the castle.

The crowd was dispersing and James, feeling utterly defeated, let Snape drop to the ground again. He went to collect his things as Snape scrambled up the path to the school, and Sirius also went for his bag.

James didn't admonish Sirius for doing as Rosa told him. He was aware, deep down, that it was this desire to please Rosa that meant that Sirius had a girlfriend and he, James, didn't. As the thought flashed across his mind he felt a stab of resentment, but quickly buried it. _Let it go,_ he told himself. _You'd do the same if you thought it would make a real difference._

"I wish I knew what her problem is," he muttered, and Sirius flashed him a sympathetic look. "Reading between the lines, mate, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited." James pulled a face. He was conceited, and he knew it; but he didn't really know how to be anything else, and however hard he tried to repress that aspect of himself for Lily, it kept bubbling to the surface again.

"Anyway," said Sirius, hoisting his bag onto his shoulder, "I'd better go. I think I might be in trouble." With that he ran off to the castle, leaving James with a sympathetic Peter and an unimpressed looking Remus.

"Not a word," he snarled at Remus, who just raised an eyebrow. "Not a fucking word." He didn't want to hear what Remus had to say; even though he knew that whatever it was, it was probably justified.

x-x-x-x-x

Sirius caught up with Rosa in the Entrance Hall, where she had in turn caught up with Lily, Alice and Clara. He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away, and she came with him, but he could tell by her expression that he was still in trouble. Instead of getting into a row in the middle of the Entrance Hall, he dragged her off into a side corridor and found an empty classroom.

He had never actually fought with Rosa before. He knew he had got on her nerves, sometimes, but he normally managed to make himself heed her warning glances and stop whatever he was doing before she got properly upset. He had a feeling he had gone too far this time.

"What," she began, her voice dangerously low, "The _fuck_ do you think you were doing?"

Sirius sighed. "Rosa, I hate him. You know I hate him. And you know why. Why is it coming as such a surprise? And _why,_ in Merlin's name, are you sticking up for him after everything he's said and done to you?"

"Don't you DARE," she shrieked, and Sirius was taken aback by the sudden force of her rage, "Make this about _me!_ I have _told_ you that I can look after myself, I have _told_ you that it doesn't bother me, I have _told_ you just to let it go, so don't pretend you were trying to defend me because that is the lamest excuse for anything I have _ever heard!"_

Sirius just gaped at her, as she continued. "So what is it, Sirius? If it's not about me, what is it? Are you just genuinely that nasty?" Sirius flinched, but she went on. "Because I don't think you are. Is it because he's a snake? Because can't you see how insulting that is, if ordinarily you would torture any Slytherin who walked past you but what, you _deign_ to make some sort of exception for me, you patronising twat? Or are you really so easily led that you'll go along with any scheme Potter cooks up just because he's perfect Potter and everyone worships him? Because if so that's pathetic."

She seemed to have yelled herself into exhaustion, but Sirius was struggling to find the words to respond. After a while he managed it, his voice hardening as he spoke. "Don't bring James into this. I suppose you're just buying all the trash Lily talks about him, but you know as well as I do that he's better than that. And I can't believe you still think I have some sort of stupid prejudice against Slytherins. We've talked about this how many times? The fact that Snape's a snake doesn't bother me, the fact that he's a Death Nibbler does but that's neither here nor there, I suppose?" He paused and she looked as though she might be about to speak but he carried on before she had he chance. "As for me just being unpleasant, if you really think that then how have we managed to be so happy for the last few months? And can you just try to get your head around the fact that you might be okay with Snape treating you like scum for being with me but I can't? Every time I remember I feel angry and guilty and I just want to tear him apart, so I'm sorry if occasionally I put the odd hex on him but to be honest he should consider himself lucky."

They stood facing each other, both trembling as they tried to process everything that had been said. Sirius felt as though the floor had opened up underneath him. He had a distinct feeling that he shouldn't have said some of those things, but he couldn't work out, right now, which words would have caused most offence, and besides, it was too late to try to take any of them back now.

Then, thank Merlin, she ran to him. For a moment he thought she might try to strangle him, but although she did wrap her arms around his neck, it was in a tight embrace as she kissed him, hard and repeatedly, right there in the empty classroom. Suddenly overwhelmed with a need to hold her, protect her, Sirius lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, her mouth never leaving his. He carried her to the nearest desk, setting her down on it, and ran his hands down to her waist, as her own roamed across his back. Without even thinking he found himself tugging at her robes, and they fell off her shoulder on one side, exposing her bra strap and the soft, pale swell of her upper breast. She was tugging at his robes too, and for a moment Sirius was preparing himself for blissful oblivion when, seemingly in the same moment, they remembered where they were.

The broke apart, Rosa removing her legs from his hips, and Sirius gently tugged her sleeve up so that she was covered again. Then he wrapped his arms back around her and she laid her head on his chest, and they waited like that for a few minutes.

"I hate you," she mumbled after a while.

He laughed. "Not as much as I hate you."

"Wanna bet?" She lifted her head and kissed him again. "Room of Requirement?" she asked, between kisses.

"Mmm, I think so." She jumped lightly off the desk and took his hand to lead him out of the classroom. "You know," said Sirius teasingly as he followed her, "If this is what fighting is like we should do it more often."

She pinched him, hard, and he gasped in mock pain, then hurried after her up the stairs to the Room of Requirement.

x-x-x-x-x

James sat at the Gryffindor table for dinner, resentment setting in again in spite of himself. Sirius and Rosa had arrived late, looking flushed, and it didn't take much imagination for James to work out where they had been. Remus seemed to have taken his "not a word" warning to heart, and still had his face buried in his transfiguration notes. Peter had been babbling eagerly all evening, but James had managed to zone him out and had no idea what he had been saying.

"Stop looking so gloomy, James," said Rosa, helping herself to more roast potatoes. "If you want Lily to kiss you again, all you have to do is stop being such an arrogant little toe rag. Her words, not mine."

James stiffened, and Peter looked up, stunned into sudden silence. Sirius winced and Remus didn't react at all.

"How… how did you know?" stuttered James, glancing around to check no one else had heard.

"Lily had a minor breakdown after a prefect meeting and told me and Remus, so of course I told Sirius," said Rosa matter-of-factly. "I thought he might want to talk to you about it."

James turned to stare at Sirius. "And you never thought to mention that you knew?"

"Well, you know how it is, mate," replied Sirius, looking uncomfortable. "You didn't say anything, so I… well, we," he added, glancing up at Remus, who seemed to be employing his tactic of pretending he couldn't hear what was happening around him again. "_We_ thought that you probably didn't want to talk about it."

James wasted a moment trying to process this, and decide whether he should feel angry, but then he decided he couldn't be bothered. "So what did she say?" he pressed Rosa, abandoning his pride for a moment. "Why did she kiss me? Does she like me?"

"Of course she likes you," said Rosa scornfully. "Although I can't say I understand why." James thought he saw a small smirk cross Remus' face, but he let it go, determined not to be distracted.

"If she likes me, why does she keep rejecting me?" he asked through gritted teeth, hating the taste of the word "rejecting" in his mouth. Rosa sighed.

"Because you're an utter twat and she doesn't understand why she likes you either. Stop being such an arrogant imbecile hexing her best friend all day and she might give you a bit more of her time." She paused. "Although I don't think the best friend thing's going to be as much of an issue after today."

"So she was upset?" James had been so sure he had seen Lily's face contort in agony when Snape called her a mudblood, but based on her subsequent reaction he was less convinced. Rosa rolled her eyes in disbelief. "Of course she was! But she can be angry with both of you at once, you know." She sighed. "To be honest though, I think that was the final straw with Snape."

She then tucked into her dinner and try as he might, James could not extract another word from her on the subject.

After dinner they all departed for the library. The others seemed to have settled in for the night, but James, feeling utterly dejected, headed up to the dormitory after only a few hours. As he approached the Fat Lady's corridor, he was startled to see Snape rounding the corner ahead of him. Instinctively he reached for his wand, but Snape didn't seem to have even registered his presence. As the Slytherin brushed passed him, he noticed with alarm that the other boy was crying.

James hurried to the portrait to find Lily, in her dressing gown and slippers, trembling with either anger, misery, or both. He hesitated, not wanting to give her any more reasons to shout at him today, but she had seen him, so he couldn't very well run away. He considered passing by without a word, but knew that would be unforgivably cold. Instead he hovered, awkwardly, waiting for her to give him some sort of indication as to what he should do.

What he hadn't expected was for her to suddenly wrap both arms around him and begin sobbing into his chest.

Taken aback, James reciprocated, looping his hands behind her waist and holding her as her whole body shook with dry, angry sobs. He had no idea how long they stood like that, but in the meantime, he plucked up the courage to press his lips gently to the top of her head, breathing in the smell of her hair. If she noticed, she didn't protest.

Then she took a step back and stared, hopelessly, into his face. Even with red eyes and tear-stained cheeks, James reflected, she really was stunningly beautiful. Well. Maybe not stunning at this precise moment, but this was Lily. She would always be beautiful to him.

He knew what was going to happen a moment before it did, and he certainly wasn't going to try and stop it. Lily stood on tiptoes and pressed her lips very gently to his. This time, her kiss contained none of the anger that had been there before; there was just the soft, sweet taste of her mouth on his. It lasted only a moment but when she pulled away, it was only by an inch, and James quickly leaned in to take up where she had left off.

After a few moments, he found the courage to open his mouth slightly, and was delighted to feel her lips moving with his, so that he was actually breathing in the air from her mouth. Inspired by this success, he gingerly let his tongue creep into her mouth, and still she didn't pull away. He could feel her tongue against his, and it sent shivers down his spine.

Then, far, far too soon, she pulled away properly. Her hands, which had been encircled around his waist the entire time, fell limply down, though as she backed off she squeezed one of his hands in her own. She gave him a sad little smile and disappeared into the Common Room, leaving him standing, stunned, in the corridor. He waited for a few moments, giving her time to run up to her dormitory, and then followed her in, dashing straight to his own.

Of course Sirius, Remus and Peter were still in the library, but James was relieved to find that Frank was also absent; perhaps also in the library, perhaps somewhere with Alice, James neither knew nor cared. He lay on his bed, heart thudding, body trembling, mind racing, for a long time. When the others came in he pretended to be a sleep, but it wasn't until much, much later that he managed to drift off into an uneasy doze.

**AN: If anyone's worrying that Jily seem to be moving too fast bearing mind they're not supposed to get together til 7th year, don't - I just feel like Lily has to give James some sort of hope now, I can't really imagine him or anyone else maintaining interest for two years otherwise. But I'm not going to be messing with the timescale.**


	11. Runaway

Once the exams were over, the rest of the term flew by. The Marauders spent most of it down by the lakeside, often accompanied by Rosa, in a state of blissful boredom. Rosa seemed to have thoroughly forgiven Sirius for the incident with Snape. Lily, on the other hand, hadn't spoken to James since their kiss and he was once again falling into frustrated irritation. It turned out that her occasional flashes of affection were even worse than studied hostility, as they gave James a reason to hope for what was seeming increasingly unlikely. One good thing had come out of the event, at least; Lily and Snape clearly had not reconciled. She avoided him like the plague, and he moped around the school like a particularly depressed augurey, giving Moaning Myrtle a run for her money as the most miserable-looking person in school.

Sirius was generally in good spirits, though inevitably his mood was beginning to decline as the end of term drew closer and the prospect of a summer spent with his parents loomed. James had already offered for him to come and stay with the Potters, and Sirius had expressed an intention to do so, but had conceded that having not seen or spoken to his mother in a year, he perhaps ought to pop in and make sure that she was still alive. "I mean, you'd think Regulus would have mentioned it if something had happened, but you never know," he said gloomily, and Rosa leaned in to squeeze his hand sympathetically. He grasped it tightly and James had to look away, embarrassed. He liked Rosa, he really did, but he hated to think of anyone being closer to Sirius than he was.

The exams had ended a few days before full moon, which was unfortunate for Remus (who always began to look a little peaky as his transformation approached) but at least provided a welcome release for the others, who having been cooped up in the library for the best part of two weeks were in desperate need for another moonlit adventure.

Lily's knowledge of his condition had turned out to be surprisingly advantageous for Remus. She had developed a habit of bringing back half of Honeydukes for him in the week before a full moon, insisting that "Chocolate helps when you're ill." Remus had been sceptical at first but it turned out she was right; the chocolate provided a comforting warmth that made him feel just a little stronger when he was at his lowest.

Inevitably James found himself resenting his friend's new closeness with Lily, but at the same time he was devoted to working out how he could use this development to his advantage.

But then it was too late to try to manipulate Lily, because term was over and another year had passed in which she had consistently refused to go out with him. _Ah well,_ thought James, _next year,_ as he, Sirius, Rosa, Remus and Peter piled into a compartment on the Hogwarts Express and sped off down to London.

Sirius was sinking into genuine gloom. He knew that he didn't have to stay in London for long, but even meeting his parents at the station (not that they were coming to see him – but they would pick up Regulus and he would be forced to walk with them) seemed like far too much time passed with his family. On top of the depression, he was nervous too; Rosa's parents would be at King's Cross, and in a fit of gallantry he had agreed to meet them. Sirius had never worried about what other people thought of him before, but the idea that Rosa's parents might not like him filled him with real fear. Thank Merlin he was only to be meeting them in passing, on his way to find his own parents. Although really, could being judged by Rosa's family be any worse than whatever his mother was going to throw at him? Without realising he was doing it, Sirius tightened his grip on Rosa's hand. She noticed, and worried, but didn't say anything.

And then the train was slowing down and people were going for their cases, ready to disembark. They lost Peter in the rush; then Remus squeezed Sirius' arm to indicate he was leaving; James caught sight of his parents in the throng and bade Sirius goodbye; and finally he was left alone with Rosa, who was clutching his hand and dragging him towards a family of three who stood nervously in the middle of the platform.

As Sirius approached his girlfriend's parents he surveyed them warily. She looked very like her mother, though Mrs Glancy's hair was lighter in colour, and she was half a head shorter than Rosa. Her father was also short, and bespectacled, with thinning dark hair. Rosa had never mentioned that she had a little sister, but there she was: tall, like Rosa, but with dark hair like her father. Sirius guessed that she was probably thirteen or fourteen.

Sirius forced a smile as Rosa led him over. Mrs Glancy was smiling warmly, but Mr Glancy's arms were folded across his chest, his expression inscrutable. The sister just looked bored.

"Mum, Dad," said Rosa brightly, giving Sirius' hand an encouraging squeeze. "This is Sirius."

Sirius dropped her hand and held his own out to shake Mr Glancy's. Mr Glancy accepted it, a small smile playing about his lips. Sirius watched him anxiously, but then Mrs Glancy pushed her husband aside and pulled him into a hug. "Lovely to meet you, dear," she said, and she sounded genuine. Sirius blushed as she released him, and Rosa was just introducing him to her sister, Naomi, when he heard someone shriek his name. "Sirius!"

He flinched, and Rosa looked immediately anxious. "Is that...?"

"Yeah," he said, suddenly filled with fear. It didn't particularly bother him that his mother wouldn't approve of Rosa the Muggle-born, but he didn't want her and her family having to hear what Mrs Black would surely have to say about them. "I should go."

"Right," she said, and leant upwards to kiss him goodbye. Sirius couldn't enjoy the kiss; he was too aware of her parents watching and his own mother bearing down on them. He pulled away very quickly, muttered a quick "Bye," and squeezed her hand as he departed.

"Sirius Black!" His mother was truly screaming now, and everyone on the platform was staring. Sirius glanced back to see Rosa hurriedly ushering her family away and was relieved. The relief was only momentary, and with a heavy heart he stepped forward to greet his mother.

"Who was that?" snarled his mother, not bothering with a greeting.

"No one," mumbled Sirius, unwilling to get into this argument somewhere quite so public.

"No one? Didn't look like no one." Sirius rolled his eyes. Trust his mother to suddenly start paying attention to what he was doing at the most inconvenient moment possible.

"That's his mudblood girlfriend," drawled Regulus, wheeling his laden trolley over to join them, Sirius' father right behind him.

For a moment, Sirius thought his mother was actually going to explode with rage. She went white as a sheet and her already mad eyes bulged out of her head, before she screeched for the whole platform to hear, "His WHAT?!"

Sirius turned away. The one thing he had to be grateful for was that the Glancys were nowhere to be seen; they must have made it through the barrier before the onslaught began.

x-x-x-x-x

Two hours later Sirius was in his room at Grimauld Place, throwing things into a bag. His mother had screamed herself hoarse and then ordered him upstairs, and he had been only too willing to obey. He hadn't even bothered unpacking his school trunk; now it was just a matter of retrieving all the things he usually kept at home and would want to take with him.

The door flew open and his parents stormed in. His mother was still insane with rage, whereas his father, always the more coolly controlled, appeared to be channelling all of his energy into trying to kill Sirius with a look. Thankfully he seemed to have forgotten that his wand would do the trick.

"We've come to a decision," his father spat at him. "We want you out. Now. How can you have ever defiled the Black name with that… scum?"

"Well, you know," Sirius threw back defiantly. "I thought it was about time to introduce some new genes to the pool, any more inbreeding and my kids are going to turn out even worse than mum."

His mother just made spitting noises, clearly unable to find the right words. His father turned, if possible, even paler, and he hissed, "Have you… did you…"

"Sleep with her? Yeah." Sirius didn't see the point of holding any detail in, especially if it would have the rather satisfactory result of making his mother's eyes pop any further out of her skull. _Maybe they'll burst out and roll under the bed,_ Sirius hoped spitefully. "No half-blood grandkiddies on the way yet but I'll keep you posted."

At this his father struck him. Sirius reeled, stunned. For all that his parents hated him and vice versa, they had never hit him before (although Regulus, of course, would take any excuse to pummel his older but less athletic brother). This hardened his resolve, not that his mind hadn't already been made up. "I'm leaving," he informed his parents coldly, zipping up his bag (a Muggle design, some football team – Sirius had only the vaguest idea of what football was but he knew that it filled his parents with an incensed rage).

"We know you are," snarled his father. "We're throwing you out."

"No, I'm walking out." The distinction seemed important to Sirius somehow.

"To your little mudblood whore? Sure she'll take you when she realised you're not inheriting the family fortune?" This was from his mother, who was sounding increasingly deranged.

"She always knew I wouldn't touch your money, it's why she loves me," Sirius told her furiously, and pushed past her to the door. "Don't bother to write. Just assume I'm dead in a ditch somewhere if it makes you happier."

"Don't get my hopes up!" his mother hollered down the stairs after him, but Sirius paid her no heed. He burst out into the street, trembling with rage.

What now? Despite what he had said, he knew he couldn't go to Rosa. She would help him, but he had barely even spoken to her parents, and somehow he suspected they wouldn't be happy with a strange boy appearing on their doorstep.

No. There was only one place Sirius could go. Feeling simultaneously lost and elated, he stuck out his arm and waited for the Knight Bus to come and speed him away into a new life.

x-x-x-x-x

James had been home for four hours and was already bored. His mother was cooing incessantly over him, insisting on cooking his favourite meal, and James knew he ought to feel grateful but he couldn't. He already missed Hogwarts. Not the work, of course, but his friends. Time always passed so much more slowly when the Marauders, and Sirius in particular, weren't with him.

The weather didn't improve his mood. Normally he would be badgering his father to come and play Quidditch with him (his dad was old and slow, but there was no one else in this stupid little village full of elderly witches and wizards to play with. Who was he supposed to ask, Batty Bagshot next door?), but after a full term's worth of sun and heavy heat, the holidays had brought storms. As lightning flashed across the sky, James sat on the sofa and stared miserably out of the window for a few minutes. Honestly, if this carried on he may as well do some work. He dismissed the thought as ridiculous and instead scrambled for some parchment, and began a slightly lewd doodle of Lily Evans.

He was interrupted some time later by a hammering on the front door. _Wonderful,_ he though, _Batty probably knows I'm home and wants to know how the OWLs went._ He didn't bother to move, as he heard his mum answering the door. There was a kafuffle in the hallway, and then his mum was calling his name urgently. "James!"

Something in her voice made James look up. That didn't sound like someone who wanted him to come and chat with an elderly neighbour. Leaving the sketch on his desk, he left his room and headed for the top of the stairs.

In the hallway below him, clutching a trunk and a rucksack and looking very cold and wet, was Sirius. James' mum was helping him out of his coat, and his dad was hurrying to take his bag from him.

James descended the first few steps but stopped halfway up. "All right, mate?" he asked casually, though inside he was burning with questions.

"All right?" replied Sirius, shaking rain out of his soaking hair.

"Wasn't expecting you here so soon."

"Yeah, well they threw me out, didn't they," grunted Sirius. "Or I walked out. Not sure which. Let's say it was mutual."

"Ah." James hesitated for a split second, before walking down the remaining stairs and pulled his friend into a bear hug. For a moment Sirius resisted, but then he hugged back. However cool he was trying to play it, James could sense that his best friend was at a total loss.

"Well of course, you can stay here," James' mum was saying earnestly. "It's always been your home really – we'd love to have you, wouldn't we Michael?"

"Oh, of course," James' dad was agreeing, as the two boys broke apart. "Let me help you with your trunk," he continued, and before Sirius had a chance to say he could manage he had taken the chest and was hoisting it up the stairs. Sirius took his bag back from the corner where Mr Potter had left it, and James bent to pick up his empty birdcage. "Where's Nox?"

"Making his own way," shrugged Sirius. "Soon, I hope."

The words "I need to write to Rosa" hovered unspoken in the air between them. They made their way up to James' room, where Mr Potter dumped Sirius' case and left the two boys to it.

"So," said James, when they were alone, "What did it, in the end?" He suspected he knew the answer but he had to ask.

"Oh, you know," said Sirius with false bravado, rummaging in his rucksack. "Not eating my greens. Growing my hair out too long. And contaminating the bloodline of course, but I think that was more an excuse than anything…" The words caught in his throat and James realised with horror that his friend was holding back a sob. This was all wrong. Sirius didn't cry.

"Here, mate…" he began, but Sirius was brushing a tear away angrily and clearly quite determined to pretend it had never been there. "What?"

"Never mind." If Sirius wanted to ignore the incident then James was more than happy with that. "I think I might just go and…."

"Right," agreed Sirius, saving James from having to come up with an excuse. James didn't feel guilty leaving the room; he knew Sirius wouldn't want him there any more than he himself wanted to be there. He decided to give his friend ten minutes, and for want of anything better to do went to see if his mum needed any help in the kitchen. Mrs Potter was surprised but delighted.

Sirius reappeared after less than five minutes, and had reverted to his usual self. He was all charm, as he always was before James' parents, and was keeping Mrs Potter half amused, half exasperated with stories of James' misdemeanours (carefully edited, of course, to avoid incriminating himself as well) when she announced that dinner was ready, so why didn't they all go set themselves down in the dining room while she brought the food in?

They obeyed, and she followed them in soon after with a steaming dish of lasagne. She served Sirius first, a ridiculously big portion, then James, then herself and her husband, and the four tucked in, not speaking much. After a while Sirius, developing manners at the crucial moment as always, began to compliment Mrs Potter on the quality of her cooking, and she, taking this as an invitation to begin a proper conversation, remarked, "But Sirius, dear, I can't just take you in without even asking you what happened at home?"

James glanced up at his friend, and saw that Sirius' expression had become stormy. His mum was looking anxious, and his dad laid his cutlery gingerly on the plate, as though the seriousness of the subject required him to reverentially stop eating. The attention, of course, just made everything worse.

"Well, you know," said Sirius awkwardly, not making eye-contact with anyone. "It's been bad for ages and…"

"Yes, but this is something else," interrupted Mrs Potter, despite James' warning look. "I mean, to throw a sixteen year old boy out on the streets…"

"My girlfriend's Muggle-born," Sirius interjected abruptly, clearly not wanting Mrs Potter to make a long, pitying speech. "Or as dear old mum would say, mudblood scum of the earth, and it turns out defiling the family name was just one step further than they could cope with." He dropped his cutlery onto his plate and added gloomily, "I expect she's blasting me off the family tree as we speak."

Mr Potter looked confused. "Do you mean her will?"

"No, literally the family tree," explained Sirius. "There's a tapestry. Blood traitors get blasted off. Like my cousin a few years ago."

"'Dromeda?" asked James, curious. He had only ever met Sirius' cousin, Andromeda, a few times, as she had been a seventh year when they began at Hogwarts. She had then married her school boyfriend, Ted Tonks, a Muggle-born, and Sirius, he knew, had never seen her since.

"Yeah. The only decent member of my family and now she's just a burn on the wall," Sirius confirmed miserably.

"Maybe you could visit her now?" James suggested brightly. "I mean, there's not a lot your mum can do to punish you any more, is there?"

Sirius rubbed his eyes, suddenly looking exhausted. "Maybe," he said. "She's got a kid, though. A little one. I'm not good with kids."

James decided to leave it, although privately he felt that if there was one person it would be a good idea for Sirius to speak to now, it would be the only other living member of his family who'd been disowned.

"Still," said Mrs Potter, with forced cheeriness. "You've got a girlfriend! That's nice."

James silently willed the floor to open and swallow her up, but it didn't.

"Mmm," mumbled Sirius, and he went back to his dinner, apparently lost in thought. James followed suit and his parents, after exchanging a concerned look that was not lost on James, did likewise.

x-x-x-x-x

Three days later, James woke up late morning, as he was accustomed to doing in the holidays, and rolled over to see Sirius, asleep on the sofa. Every time he woke up to that sight, he felt a fresh burst of pleasure, followed by a stab of guilt. Wonderful as it was to have a friend in this stupid, dull, adult-ridden village, he had to keep reminding himself of the price Sirius had had to pay to get here.

He looked out of the window and saw Nox perched on the sill, waiting not-so-patiently for one of them to wake up. He got out of bed, leaned over Sirius, who didn't stir, and let the owl into the room. Sirius had dispatched him with a letter for Rosa the evening before; writing the letter had apparently been an agonising process that had left Sirius snarling at James whenever he disturbed him. This, presumably, was Rosa's reply, and tempted though James was to open it himself, he decided instead to do the decent thing and wake his friend. After all, he reflected, who knew what nauseating sentiments would be contained within?

He went to prod Sirius awake. This took several attempts, as Sirius kept batting his hand away irritably, resisting wakefulness until James, losing patience, sat on him instead. Sirius sat up at once, throwing James off, growling.

"Calm down, Padfoot," laughed James, who always found it amusing when Sirius the boy acted like his canine alter-ego. "Letter for you."

With this Sirius was immediately alert, snatching the letter out of James' hands. He opened and read feverishly, as James watched, feeling uncomfortably as though he was intruding on something extremely intimate. When Sirius finished the letter, he gave a heavy sigh and set it on the desk next to the sofa.

"All right?" James probed anxiously, as Sirius began to rummage through his trunk for clean clothes. Sirius just grunted, found a grey polo shirt, picked up his black jeans from the day before, and hurried out of the room to the bathroom.

James took advantage of Sirius' fleeting absence to dress, and soon Sirius was back, falling onto the sofa, running his fingers through his fringe. The hair fell gracefully back into place, and as always James, whose hair inevitably stuck up in all directions no matter what he did with it, felt a pang of jealousy. The just-stepped-off-my-broom look worked for him, but Sirius was just effortlessly cool.

"She's really upset," said Sirius, and James didn't need to ask who they were talking about. "Thinks it's her fault."

"Or to put it another, that it's her you have to thank," suggested James breezily. "I mean, you've been wanting an excuse to leave for ages…"

Sirius' face split into a grin. "I never looked at it like that," he said, suddenly cheerful. "So she saved me. Again."

James forced a smile. He still didn't like talking to Sirius about Rosa. The subject brought up a range of feelings – jealousy, abandonment, awkwardness and mild nausea among them – that he didn't ever want to feel in relation to Sirius. The fact was that he just couldn't understand what it must feel like to be in love, and he didn't like being reminded that Sirius, bloody Sirius, who had always treated girls with such cool disdain until a few months ago, did know.

"Mate?" Sirius was giving James the inscrutable look that normally meant he was effectively reading his mind. "You do like Rosa, don't you?"

"Yes," said James, and he meant it. Rosa might be a little odd; she might work harder than anyone James knew, except perhaps Remus; she might not value popularity or be impressed by any of the things James did that normally made people gather round to watch; but in spite of all this he had become strangely fond of her sharp, scathing comments, her blunt insightfulness and her calming influence.

"Right," said Sirius, not sounding wholly convinced. "Only you're never very friendly to her."

"What do you mean?" James was hurriedly scanning his memory, trying to find any moments when he had been cold or rude or unfriendly, but he genuinely couldn't.

"Well, okay, you're all right to her face. But whenever I mention her otherwise you go all quiet."

James groaned inwardly. Even he had to admit that that was probably true. "I dunno, mate. It's just hard to get my head round."

"You've had long enough." Sirius was watching him appraisingly.

"I know, but…" James knew he was just going to have to say it. "It's just… you've got her. Rosa. Great. Happy for you, blah blah blah. Except I've got no one."

Sirius stared at him for a few moments, then burst out laughing.

"What?!" James demanded, annoyed. He had just spilled his soul out – well, sort of – and there was Sirius, laughing at him.

"Sorry, mate," said Sirius, regaining control. "You just sound so sorry for yourself. Anyway, you're sixteen – it's not like you're in much danger of dying alone just yet."

"I didn't mean…" protested James, reddening. Sirius was making him sound ridiculous. Maybe he _was_ being ridiculous. Was he?

"So, jealous, huh?" Sirius continued, not letting him interrupt. "That figures. Or is it more about Lily?" He picked a piece of parchment up form the desk, holding it very gingerly between thumb and forefinger, eyebrows raised. James reddened as he realised it was his portrait of Lily from a few days before, still lying there. "I got my red-head, so where's yours?"

James flinched. "Forget Evans…" he mumbled, knowing as he said it that he never would.

"She hasn't forgotten you," Sirius chuckled. "Why else would she kiss you again?"

James just spluttered. Eventually he managed: "That girlfriend of yours is a right little gossip, isn't she?"

"Oh, that was Remus, not Rosa," Sirius told him casually. "Now that she's not talking to Snape Lily keeps turning up and crying on him. It's driving him mad."

"What? Why Remus?"

"It's his own stupid fault. She was kind to him a few times so he told her if she ever needed to talk, that was fine… and by the sounds of it, that girl can't half talk."

"But… but…" James was struggling to process this information. "What does she cry about?"

"Mostly alternates between you and Snape apparently. Oh, and something to do with her sister being a bitch. And she thinks she failed Herbology. Otherwise I gather she's generally quite a cheerful little thing."

"Why does she cry about me?" pressed James, and Sirius rolled his eyes. "Because, you moron, as we have been telling you all year, she likes you but she thinks you're a twat, and you haven't been doing a very good job at convincing her otherwise."

James, how had been sitting on his bed the entire time, leaned back against the wall. "She does like me, though?" he repeated carefully.

Sirius sighed. _"Yes,_ mate."

"Why did Remus tell you all this and not me?" James asked suspiciously.

Sirius laughed. "Because she made him promise never to breathe a word to you. Of course, he made me promise the same thing, but… well, you know."

James nodded slowly. "So all I have to do," he said slowly, wanting to make sure he'd got this completely right, "Is convince Lily that I'm not a twat?"

"That's all," said Sirius, "Although I think you've still got a way to go, mate."

"Still," said James confidently, a wide grin spreading across his face, "I'm pretty sure I can do that."


	12. Highs and Lows

James leaned back in his seat, resting his hands up behind his head, and grinned at Lily Evans. "I knew I could do it!"

"Do what?" They were sitting in Madame Puddifoot's café in Hogsmeade. Lily was sitting very upright, her hands on the table in front of her, playing absent-mindedly with her napkin.

"Convince you that I'm not a twat, and that you should therefore go out with me."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "Believe me, jury's still out on the twat point."

"No it's not," said James confidently, and he leaned in and took her hands across the table. "You wouldn't be here if it was."

Her hands tensed as he took hold of them, but she didn't pull away. She just stared at him, her gaze challenging. "Wouldn't I?"

"Nope. You've been resisting it for years. You weren't going to suddenly break down now unless you really wanted to."

"Maybe you just annoyed me into submission."

"Did I?"

"Wait around and find out." Her green eyes glittered for a moment, but before the conversation could get any more interesting Madame Puddifoot appeared with their drinks, and a reluctant James was forced to sit back as Lily daintily stirred her coffee.

"How's Remus?" she asked, taking a sip. "Must be nearly that time again."

"Tomorrow night," James told her, biting back irritation. He hadn't come here to discuss Moony, especially since Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs had been assuring that the full moon was no longer a painful time for him for nearly two years. Not that Lily knew that, of course. "He's fine."

"Good." She ran her finger around the rim of her cup, for the first time betraying a hint of nervousness. James just stared, waiting for her to carry on. She glanced up a couple of times, but his stare seemed to intimidate her, and she stared into her coffee, not speaking.

James took a sip of his own drink, then decided he had tortured her long enough and that he should rescue her. "So," he said slowly, "Did I really annoy you into submission?"

A smile flickered across her face. "Well, not you alone. I must say employing Remus and Sirius to help you was a cheap trick."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know." Her voice deepened in a terrible impersonation of Remus or Sirius (it was impossible to tell which). "Oh, go on, Lily… Please, Lily… Shut him up whining, Lily… Lily, if you don't go out with him of your own free will soon I may have to tie you up and leave you in the Three Broomsticks for him to find you myself…"

"Please tell me they didn't."

"Oh, yes. That was just Remus. Sirius was a lot more blunt."

James groaned. "I don't want to know."

"Oh, Lily, if I have to be woken up by James moaning your name in his sleep one last time I'm going to smother him…"

"I've never moaned your name in my sleep!"

"How would you know? You'd be asleep."

James scowled. He much preferred it when he was teasing her; he didn't like the feeling that she had come here purely to laugh at his expense.

"Oh calm down, James, he never said that."

"Well, good."

"Although your reaction makes me wonder if it might be true anyway…"

"Oh, drink your coffee."

She did so, but she continued to smile at him. James watched just long enough to satisfy himself that it was a genuine smile, not a sneer, and went back to his own cup.

It was surprisingly difficult to talk to her, he was finding now. Their previous interactions had generally involved winding each other up, to greater or lesser degrees. A little teasing was fine but it wasn't going to last an entire date.

She had already finished her drink. "Do you mind if we go to Honeydukes when you're done?" she asked, setting her mug down on the table between them. "I promised Tuney I'd send her some Toothflossing Stringmints."

"I thought you sister hated all things wizard?"

Lily shrugged. "She does, but they're not really magical, and they're very hygienic. It's the sort of thing she can get really excited about. She just has to hide them from Vernon."

"The boyfriend?"

"Hmm."

"Met him yet?"

"No. I don't know who's more keen to put it off, me or Tuney." She bit her lip, and James hastily changed the subject. "Anyway, yeah, Honeydukes. Might get something for Remus. He gets through chocolate like nothing else at… round about now."

"Couldn't he come himself?" Lily looked concerned. "I thought you said he was fine?"

"He is, but as he keeps reminding us, the NEWTs are a mere seven and a half months away and it would be terribly irresponsible for us to be leaving our rooms to go anywhere but lessons or the library."

Lily chuckled. "I see. Then we must be setting a terrible example. Some Head Girl and Boy we are."

"Aren't we just."

"I still don't understand how you got made Head Boy."

"Me neither."

She stuck her tongue out at him and stood to leave. James drained the dregs of his cup and joined her, offering her his arm. She surveyed him critically for a moment, then accepted it.

They walked out of the coffee shop and down into the village. James noticed that Lily's head was slightly bowed, and she seemed to be hiding behind a curtain of her own hair. He tried not to take this to mean that she was embarrassed to be seen with him. _She probably just doesn't want people gossiping,_ he told himself. Although even this was a hollow consolation, as he himself was on cloud nine and wanted the whole school, village, country and world to know that he was on a date with Lily Evans.

James dragged himself back from these contemplations sharply when he realised the true source of her discomfort. Walking up the path towards them was Snape, and he was alone.

James laid his free hand on Lily's, which was resting in the crook of his other arm. He told himself he was trying to reassure her, though part of him knew he was responding to a primal instinct. He wanted Snape to see that she was his, now.

Snape also bowed his head he passed. For a moment, Lily's fingers interlocked with James' own; then, suddenly, she was pulling away, whipping around to face Snape. "Protego!"

James spun round. Sure enough, Snape's wand was in his hand. He had clearly been about to hex James from behind.

"How dare you!" spat Lily, advancing on Snape with her wand still raised. "Of all the pathetic, cowardly things to do… Who do you think you are, Snape?"

Snape winced. Even after eighteen months, it clearly still hurt him to hear Lily calling him by his last name, rather than the nickname Sev that she had always used before. His vulnerability was fleeting, however; a sneer passed over his face and he replied, "Just giving the blood traitor what he deserves, Evans."

James whipped out his own wand to hit Snape with the most unpleasant curse he was capable of performing, but Lily laid a hand on his arm and said very softly, "Ah, of course. Because touching mudblood filth like me does make James a blood traitor, doesn't it, Snivellus?"

Snape gave a non-committal shrug. James guessed that he couldn't bring himself to actually call Lily a mudblood – not after doing so the first time had cost him their friendship.

Lily's face hardened. "I see." She raised her wand in a sweeping motion, and Snape was lifted off the ground as though by his left ankle. James had of course seen this curse performed many times – usually, in fact, by himself against Snape – but now he gaped open mouthed as Snape struggled in mid-air, his robes cascading over his head to reveal that his underpants were in no better condition now than they had been during OWLs.

Lily surveyed her handiwork with defiance. "Well," she said, "I daresay someone will come and let you down eventually. Come, James." And she grabbed James' hand and began to drag him back down the path towards the village.

Finally tearing his eyes away from the fuming, suspended Slytherin, James dashed to catch up with her. "Lil, that was incredible!"

"Not really," she replied, but he was pleased to see that she flushed slightly at the compliment.

"It was. Although," he added, giving her a sly sideways glance, "Bit of a double-standard, isn't it? I mean, last time I used that against Snape, you shrieked at me for about five minutes and then…"

"Kissed you, I seem to remember," she interjected coolly.

"Well, yeah. Talk about mixed signals…"

"Can we just forget about Snape, please?"

James eyed her up and down, then came to a decision. "Come with me."

She looked curiously at him but James just tightened his grip on her hand and, instead of continuing down towards the centre of the village, pulled her up a sharp left turn towards the Shrieking Shack. "Er, James…" began Lily, but he ignored her, and she gave up, scurrying behind him in silence as she struggled to keep up.

There was no one around, but James wasn't taking any chances. He skirted round the side of the Shack towards the little outcrop of trees, where he knew they could get some privacy. Lily, however, was suddenly digging her heals in. "James, what is this?"

He supposed it did look a bit dodgy. "Just trust me," he urged, and she followed him cautiously, still looking deeply suspicious.

Once James was sure they were in no danger of being seen, he spun round to face her, letting go of her hand. "Ready?"

"Ready for what?" She looked positively terrified.

James flashed her a grin, and transformed into Prongs.

This didn't have quite the effect he'd expected. Lily didn't scream, or gasp, or start jabbering excitedly. She merely took half a step back and surveyed the immense creature before her, her brow furrowing into a small frown.

Disappointed, James changed back. "You don't look very impressed."

She was still frowning. "I… er…"

"I'm an animagus!" he exclaimed, spelling it out for her. "Isn't that, you know, cool?"

"It's… unexpected," she conceded, biting her lip as she looked him up and down. "And isn't it highly illegal?"

"Yep." James grinned again. "But what's the got to do with anything?"

Her frown just deepened. "But… how long?"

"Nearly two years."

"And why?"

"To keep Remus company at full moon," James told her cheerfully. "That's why he's not ill as much after full moon anymore. Because we look after him and he doesn't just tear furniture apart and try to rip his own legs off."

"You…" She looked up at the Shack, as they still stood in its shadow. "What, you and Remus? In there?"

"Not just me. Sirius and Peter too. And we don't stay in the Shack, how boring would that be? We explore."

"You take a werewolf on jollies round a village? Near to a school? A school full of children?" Her eyes were practically popping out of her head and far from impressed, she looked genuinely horrified. James reflected that his revelation seemed to be backfiring somewhat. "We're very careful," he said defensively.

"Oh, yeah, it sounds it," she responded sarcastically. "What can the others change into?"

"Sirius is a dog. Peter is a rat. I mean that literally, I'm not just insulting him."

She rolled her eyes, but then stopped mid-roll. "Wait." She seemed to be struggling to remember something. "Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs," she said, very slowly.

"Er, what?" How did she know their nicknames?

"It was on that map. The moving map of Hogwarts. They're the names you use as animals, aren't they? Moony the wolf, Wormtail the rat, Padfoot the dog and Prongs the… what are you, exactly? Some sort of deer?"

"I'm a stag," said James, slightly offended.

"What's the difference?"

"Er…" James realised he didn't know. "Stags are bigger?" he suggested. "Anyway," he continued, remembering what they were talking about, "How do you know about the Map?"

"Sirius showed it to me, once. When he was explaining how you knew Snape was going… Well, coming here, I suppose."

James nodded slowly, remembering the agonising few minutes he and the other Marauders had spent waiting for Lily to remerge from their dormitory and her fight with Sirius. "So," he said, trying to revive the conversation, "What do you think?"

"What do I think about what?"

"Are you impressed or not?" he asked impatiently, and hoping to inspire her, turned back into a stag again.

Lily watched him with her head on one side. Then, very carefully, she lifted a hand and stroked the side of his nose. Prongs nuzzled against her hand and a small smile began to play over her lips. "Oh, all right, it is a bit impressive I suppose," she conceded reluctantly, and Prongs, delighted, reverted to human form.

James took a step forward and wrapped his arms around her. She didn't struggle. "How impressive?" he murmured, leaning in so that their faces were only inches apart. Sweet Merlin, she smelt divine.

"I said a bit," she murmured back, leaning her face up even closer to his.

Then, for the first time in his life, James Potter decided to kiss Lily Evans.

It hardly took any effort at all. There was barely an inch between their lips, so it was a simple matter of just closing the gap and then there they were, eighteen months on, locked together in a tight embrace. Her hands were roaming over his back; he brought his in close around her waist, feeling the sway of her body as she arched into him, her mouth never leaving his.

After a few moments, James pulled away. "Lily?"

"What?" She looked annoyed that he had stopped.

"Just don't make me wait another eighteen months, will you?"

Her eyes glittered and he knew she was formulating a teasing response, but he interrupted before she could, saying earnestly, "I mean it, Lil. No more waiting. Not anymore."

She nodded, once, slowly, and James, satisfied at last, bent to kiss her again. It had taken him more than six years but he had done it. He had Lily, and he sure as hell wouldn't be letting her go.

x-x-x-x-x

James strode into his dormitory a few hours later with a huge grin plastered across his face. Sirius was lying on his bed, playing absent-mindedly with what James recognised as his own tiny, animated figurine of Ludo Bagman, the Beater for James' favourite Quidditch team. Rosa was curled up next to Sirius, reading a book written by someone called Stephen King. James had never heard of that author and assumed he must be a Muggle writer.

No one else was in the dormitory.

Sirius looked up and saw James' expression. "Ah," he said, a slow smirk spreading across his face. "Success at last, eh?"

James flopped down on his bed, ruffling his hair with one hand as he did so. "About bloody time."

Rosa snapped the book shut. "I think I might leave you to it," she said, getting up to leave.

Sirius' arm was still snaked around her waist. "You don't have to," he wheedled, but she, smiling slightly, removed his hand. "Let me rephrase. I'm going to go find Lily and see whether she considered the date as much of a success as the grinning pumpkin here."

James stuck his tongue out at her in response, and she reciprocated, giving Sirius' shoulder a squeeze as she left the room.

"Have you just given her the password now?" asked James, as soon as she'd gone.

"Nah, but with you all in Hogsmeade and Remus in the library we thought we'd take advantage of the empty dormitory…"

"Okay, okay, spare me the details."

Sirius sniggered. James was about to tell him everything that had happened (he might as well, if Lily was going to tell Rosa anyway) when they were disturbed by a tap at the window. James crossed the room and let his grey owl, Mercury, fly in.

James retrieved the letter from Mercury and went to sit cross-legged on his bed. "I've won," he told Sirius smugly, as he opened the letter. "Evans is mine."

"Might want to start calling her by her first-name, then," Sirius observed dryly, as James hook open the parchment. James wasn't listening, however.

"That's weird," he was saying instead. "That looks like Batty's handwriting."

Sirius raised an eyebrow. He had met Bathilda Bagshot himself on a number of occasions, but still couldn't quite get his head around the fact that James referred to the writer of one of their most boring textbooks as "Batty."

James was scanning the letter, and as Sirius watched, he realised that his friend was turning white. He was filled with a sudden sense of foreboding. Whatever was in that letter, it didn't seem to be good news.

"Mate?" Sirius prompted, as James, now slightly green, let the letter fall from his hands. It landed on the floor a few feet away from the bed, and Sirius, who had failed to extract a reaction from James, went to pick it up.

_Dear James,_ he read.

_I cannot tell you how sorry I am to be writing to you now, and that I have to be the one to break this news to you. I don't know how much contact you have had with your parents recently, but your mother was taken ill a few weeks ago with a bad bout of scrofungulus. As I'm sure you're aware the disease is very contagious and your father came down with it not long after._

_James, I am so sorry that you have to read this in a letter, but I am afraid that both of your parents have passed away. Their conditions worsened very suddenly, and there was no time to summon you here; besides, you mother was very insistent to the end that she didn't want you unnecessarily upset. They passed with an hour of each other, and I hope you can derive some comfort from the fact that neither was in pain for long._

_I am sure that you will want to come back for the funeral, and I am writing to Professor Dumbledore to make all the necessary arrangements._

_I am sorry that you have no family left to help you through this troubled time, but I hope you will accept my support and well-wishes, poor substitute as I am._

_Your servant, always,_

_Bathilda_

Sirius felt a lump rising in his own throat. After all that Mr and Mrs Potter had done for him, he had almost come to think of them as parents, and he was naturally devastated to read about their deaths.

Then he remembered James, sitting shivering on the bed opposite his, and he set the letter aside, lost for words. There was nothing he could say now that wouldn't sound hopelessly inadequate.

"Mate…" he began, not sure what he was going to say, but James, suddenly snapping back to his sense, leapt off his bed. "Don't," he snarled, and stormed out of the room.

Sirius, still clutching the letter, followed him. "James? James!"

He ran down the stairs after James, down into the Common Room. Remus, Lily, Rosa, Peter, Alice and Frank were all gathered around the fireplace, and Remus and Lily both stood as James burst into the room.

James ignored them all. He pushed past them and stumbled through the portrait without looking back.

"Sirius? What's going on?" Remus asked urgently, and Lily, her green eyes wide, was clearly desperate to know the same thing.

Sirius didn't think it was really his place to tell them, but on the other hand, James needed them all right now. He held out the letter and Lily snatched it from him. She read it quickly, and clapped a hand across her mouth, holding the letter out wordlessly for Remus to take.

Remus read the letter out loud. As he did so, Sirius felt Rosa's hand sliding into his. He squeezed it in return, but in truth he could hardly feel the warmth of her skin. He was too distracted, wishing that he hadn't stopped to talk to the others, that he had followed James instead of losing him somewhere in the castle.

When Remus finished, their eyes all moved as one to the portrait hole. Lily was the first to speak. "We have to find him."

"But where?" asked Peter anxiously. He was bobbing in his seat, clearly desperate for someone to give him instructions.

"Use that map!" Lily demanded, but Sirius shook his head hopelessly. "Filch confiscated it a few weeks ago. He doesn't know what it is, but he was convinced it was dangerous."

"Fine, we don't need it anyway," insisted Lily. "We'll split up and look. Sirius, Rosa, try the lakeside. Remus, Peter, library. Frank, Alice, the letter mentioned Dumbledore so go hand around outside his office."

They all stared at her for a moment. "Well?" she demanded, her eyes flashing dangerously.

Frank, Alice, Remus and Peter all hurried to leave, but Sirius hung back. "And where are you going to look?" he asked her suspiciously. He knew as well as Lily that James was unlikely to be in any of the places she had ordered them to try.

"I'll be where I know he actually is," she told him mysteriously, and followed the others out of the Common Room.

Sirius turned to Rosa, who was watching him closely. "So. Lakeside?" she said.

"He won't be there," said Sirius exhaustedly, and fell into an armchair. "I think we'd be better off waiting here. He'll have to come back sooner or later."

Rosa nodded, and sat down opposite him. "Are you okay? I know they were like family to you."

Sirius sighed. "They were. But then I inherited Uncle Alphard's money and moved into the flat… Oh, Merlin, now I feel terrible, James'll be in that house all on his own now…"

Rosa gave him a sympathetic smile. "He'll be alright," she said soothingly. "He's got you. And," she added, her eyes flickering with something approaching satisfaction, "By the sounds of it, he's got Lily, now, too."

x-x-x-x-x

James was sitting in the stands of the Quidditch Stadium, staring blankly out onto the pitch. His parents had come to watch him play once, about a year ago. His mum didn't really understand Quidditch but of course she was always proud of James, and she knew enough to see that he played well. His dad's pride had been more genuine, because his dad, a long-term supporter of the Wasps, just like James, had seen many great Chasers and had understood that James could have flown with the best of them.

Well, that was what his dad had said when he'd seen him play, anyway, and James, as ever, had taken the compliment at face value. He didn't know now, looking back, whether he was really that good, or whether his dad really believed that he was.

Had believed.

James groaned and rubbed his eyes furiously with the palms of his hands. For some reason it felt very important that he shouldn't cry. After all, Batty had said his mum hadn't wanted him to be upset.

_Well,_ thought James bitterly, _some hope of that._

He heard someone small and slight coming up behind him. His first thought was Padfoot, since the tread was so light, although that didn't make sense, for why would Sirius be in dog form?

Then Lily sat down next to him without a word and James' stomach contorted. He didn't understand what he was feeling – it was a sort of mixture of embarrassment and gratitude, along with a twist of guilt and a healthy dash of confusion.

"I guess Sirius told you," he said dully after a while.

She didn't answer; at least, not with words. But he felt her soft hand looping through the crook of his arm, and she laid her head on his shoulder, still without speaking. James rested his head on hers, and they sat like that as the pitch began to grow dark.

After some time, James found his voice again. "So that's it," he said, his voice still flat and lifeless, even to his own ears. "I'm on my own."

"Don't be ridiculous." They were the first words she had uttered in nearly half an hour of sitting.

"Why? Are you about to tell me I have a secret aunt or half-brother nestled away somewhere?"

"No," she said seriously. "I can do better than that."

"What are you on about?"

"You don't need half-brothers," she told him. "You've got three real ones already. Sirius and Remus and Peter. And you've got a wonderful sister-in-law and a whole Quidditch team of cousins, and you've got Batty and Dumbledore, and you've got me."

"Have I?" asked James softly. She knew he was questioning the last.

"Of course you have," she said, and her grip on his arm tightened. "Always."

James turned to look her in the eye. He had never begged Lily Evans for anything before. He had demanded, manipulated, wheedled, used reverse psychology and even considered slipping her a love potion, but he had never begged.

But he begged now, sincerely, desperately, hopelessly. "Please, don't ever, ever leave me," he whispered, as her glittering green eyes burned into his.

She didn't break his gaze. "I won't," she promised, and he wrapped both arms around her, pulling her as close as he possibly could.


	13. The End of an Era

The next few weeks passed in a haze for James. His parents' funeral was in the second week of November, and Bathilda, true to her word, had arranged with Dumbledore for him to return. Sirius had gone straight to McGonagall, insisting that he should be allowed to attend, since the Potters had taken him in and been like parents to him, and besides James should have someone with him, so it would really be unfair on everyone if he wasn't there. He had been expecting her to say no, and had already worked himself up into such a state of self-righteous anger before even entering her office, that it took him a while to notice that she didn't protest at all. She gave her permission at once, and when Lily, anxious about James, had asked to go too, McGonagall had again agreed, a slight smile playing around her lips as she noticed the way Lily's fingers entwined with James'.

So it was that all three were in Dumbledore's office one cold morning in November, waiting to take the Floo Network to Bathilda's sitting room. James went through first, his face set. Lily followed him as quickly as she was allowed, but Sirius hesitated, the powder clenched in his fist. Part of him wondered if he ought to be going at all, now that Lily was. James didn't really need him. Maybe he would just be getting in the way.

But then he reminded himself that he wasn't just going for James. He was going because Mr and Mrs Potter had been the kindest people he had ever known. They had taken him in and treated him as their son. It would have been wrong not to say goodbye.

Bathilda's sitting room was small, cramped, dingy, and fairly chaotic. She mumbled her apologies for the mess and offered them all cups of tea, but none of the three could bear the thought of being stuck in that house for a moment longer than they had to, so they made polite noises and excused themselves hurriedly.

James stood in Bathilda's garden and looked up at his own house. Lily crept up beside him and slipped a hand into his. He took it, but with an absent-minded air, as though he hadn't really registered that she was there. Sirius stood a little way back, remembering the night just under eighteen months before when he had appeared on that doorstep, bedraggled and desperate. None of them spoke.

The funeral was a simple, quiet ceremony on the village green. James, Sirius and Lily stood shivering in the cold November air listening to the officiator, a squat, grey-haired woman who even with her glasses on had to hold the book a few inches away from her face in order to read. Her voice was high and whiney, and Sirius could sense James' irritation. Lily's eyes stayed on James through the entire ceremony, her hand clasped in his.

As the officiator levitated the coffins, James let out a single dry sob. Sirius laid a hand on his shoulder, not looking at him, knowing James wouldn't want him to bring attention to the tears. James appreciated both the support, and the lack of fuss. He pulled Lily in to him, and she wrapped both arms around his waist, murmuring, "At Muggle funerals, the family and friends have to carry the coffin."

James thought he liked the sound of that, but then, who would have carried the coffins with him? He had no family left. Sirius. He would have helped. But who else?

James' mother's friend Amelia had put on a spread in the Potters' house, but the trio didn't hang around for long. There weren't many guests, and those who were there kept coming up to James and engaging him in long, rambling conversations and repeating how sorry they were. Sirius and Lily could both see how little he wanted to hear such speeches, so they hurried him away as soon as possible. Bathilda let them back into her house and a few minutes later they were emerging in Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore, who had been reading at his desk, looked sadly up at them all. "Good evening," he said simply, and they muttered their responses and hurried hastily out of the office.

They slunk back to the Gryffindor Common Room, which as ever was crowded and noisy. They passed through unnoticed and made their way up to the boys' dormitory, where Remus was rereading _Advanced Transfiguration_ and Peter was trying unsuccessfully to make water flow from the tip of his wand.

Peter jumped up at once, babbling and fussing. James took one look at him and turned around, disappearing as quickly as he had arrived. Sirius and Lily glanced at each other and he gestured for her to follow James. He imagined that these days, James would far rather see her than him.

Peter was looking mortified. "Why does he never want to talk to me?" he whined pathetically, and Sirius and Remus exchanged a look. James, they knew, would not want a fuss made by anyone now, wouldn't want to so much as speak to anyone – except perhaps Lily.

Sirius wasn't sure when James got back. It was certainly long after the rest had gone to bed. He woke, however, late in the night, and knew instinctively that James had returned. He wondered where he had been, but then James gave a low groan and Sirius rolled over, feeling faintly sick. He buried his head under his pillow, sure that if James was crying, he wouldn't want to be overheard, and it was a long time before he fell into an uneasy sleep.

x-x-x-x-x

Then before they knew it, it was Christmas. James, who had been understandably gloomy since the funeral, mentioned that he would probably be staying at Hogwarts for Christmas, so the rest of the Marauders, in a fit of solidarity, put their names down too. Sirius was more than happy to; he lived alone, now, and while he liked the freedom he did get lonely, though he would never have admitted it to anyone. Remus wanted to use the library, and Peter followed the others' lead.

Lily was going home. Her sister, it transpired, was now engaged, and she was going to meet Vernon, the fiancé, for the first time. Rosa, too, was going back to her parents' house. For the first time in years, the Marauders were back to being just that; four boys left to maraud unsupervised.

Except they weren't. Remus had effectively moved into the library, James moped in bed all day, Peter flitted nervously between dormitory and library, getting on the nerves of everyone he met, and Sirius, who was finally beginning to realise what it must have been like for James when he himself had first got together with Rosa, was bored.

On Christmas Eve morning, Sirius awoke to find that Remus had already departed to the library, apparently with Peter in tow. Sirius chuckled at the image of Remus, surrounded by books and trying not to wallop Peter as the latter babbled unendingly about something incredibly unimportant and uninteresting. Then James stirred and he subconsciously checked himself.

"What're you laughing at?" James asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes.

"Never mind," Sirius told him. He couldn't be bothered to explain.

James frowned as he sat up. "Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you pissed off with me?"

"What?" Sirius was genuinely thrown. So far as he was aware, he had not been anything but sensitive and understanding with James ever since the funeral.

"You hardly talk to me anymore."

Sirius looked at him, agog. "No, mate, you hardly ever talk to me anymore."

"What?"

"I thought you were, y'know, in mourning, I was just leaving you to it…"

"You think I've been sitting around being miserable ever since the funeral?"

"Well…" Sirius thought hard. Of course he had assumed that; it was, after all, what he would have been doing, if he had lost parents he cared about losing. "I guess," he said, eyeing James carefully.

James sat up, his brow furrowed in a frown. After a long moment, he said thoughtfully, "I suppose I should be, shouldn't I?" Then he looked Sirius dead in the eye. "But I'm not."

"Oh." Sirius wasn't sure what else to say. "Well, that's good."

"Is it? Or does it make me an insensitive brute?"

Sirius was busy rerunning the past few weeks in his mind. "But… you've been so quiet…"

"You've all been quiet. You've been tip-toing around me like I'm a bomb that's about to explode. But I'm fine, mate."

"Right. Good," said Sirius again. He was unsure whether or not he was being reproached.

"I told Lily I love her."

"Oh. Good."

"Will you stop saying that?" James suddenly sounded frustrated. "I'm trying to talk to you, Sirius, stop looking as if you want to run away."

Sirius was stung. "I'm not… I don't…"

"Oh, be a man and finish a sentence for once."

Sirius balled his fists under the sheets. He could never take criticism, however justified, and he was beginning to feel under attack. "Have you been thinking I was mad at you ever since the funeral?"

"Nah. I knew you weren't really. But it's felt like that, sometimes."

All at once Sirius was struck by an immense guilt. "I'm really sorry, mate," he said honestly. "We thought you wouldn't want to talk about it…"

"I didn't."

"But we thought you probably wouldn't want to talk about much else either, and you seemed to be with Lily so much…"

"Aha!" Suddenly James had a wicked glint in his eye, which Sirius hadn't seen there since before his parents had died. "I knew it! You're jealous of Lily."

"I'm not…"

"You are. Just like I was jealous of Rosa. You don't like not being the most important person in my life anymore."

"Rubbish," scoffed Sirius, though if he was honest with himself, it was completely true. It had annoyed him that Lily, who had been James' girlfriend for all of two hours before he had received Bathilda's letter, had been promoted to comforter-in-chief while he, the Potters' surrogate son, had been forced to take a back seat.

"Honestly, mate, it's ridiculous. I love you, you know that."

Sirius spluttered. "You what?!"

"Yeah, I said it. I fucking love you, Sirius Black."

Sirius snorted. "It took you what, two months to tell Lily that, and me more than six years? How's that supposed to make me feel?"

"Oh, shut up," laughed James, throwing a pillow at him. Sirius, since Frank was home for Christmas and wouldn't be coming in, transformed into Padfoot and pounced.

Remus walked in on them as they were wrestling on the bed. Padfoot gave James' face a huge, slobbering lick and James pushed him off roughly, his hair sticking up all over the place. Remus was standing in the doorway with his arms folded, eye mid-roll. "Don't let me interrupt anything," he said sarcastically, and Padfoot wagged his tail at him.

James was wiping slobber off his face. "Get off me," he said to Padfoot, who gave a whimper and turned to him, tail suddenly between his legs. "I mean it!" said James, throwing the other pillow at him. Sirius transformed before slinking off to the bathroom, as Remus shook his head incredulously. "If I was Lily or Rosa, I'd be getting worried."

James had run out of pillows to throw, so he just buried himself under the duvet again, hoping that the gesture would make his opinion on that sentiment completely clear.

x-x-x-x-x

If the Marauders had thought their first term had passed quickly, it was nothing to what was coming. They were working harder than ever before, and once again the pressure was beginning to show. Remus, Rosa and Lily rarely left the library; James was regretting the time he had spent declaring himself too grief-stricken to work; Sirius had taken to waking up in the night yelling out random spells ("I don't mind the charms, but please try to tone down the hexes," Remus had grumbled sarcastically from somewhere near the dormitory ceiling one night, after Sirius had hit him with _Levicorpus_); and Peter dashed between them all, clearly hoping that someone was going to instruct him on how to pass NEWTs, but hoping in vain.

The Easter holidays were hellish. The girls stayed on at the castle, alongside the Marauders, and the six of them would spend whole days and nights in the library, along with Frank and Alice, who had also stayed. This time it wasn't just Rosa taking accidental naps in the library; they had all fallen asleep on a pile of notes at least once.

Then there were only a few short weeks until the exams. Those weeks passed in a flurry of nerves, arguments and exhaustion, and then the NEWTs hit. Sirius was barely aware of anything going on around him. All he knew was that with all the anxiety, the only way he could sleep was when he could feel Rosa next to him. She calmed him, somehow. Mindful that his roommates might not appreciate sharing with a girl, they had taken to quite deliberately sleeping in the library, curling up in corners behind stacks of books, but it wasn't long before Madame Pince, the slightly deranged librarian (who the Marauders strongly suspected was having an affair with Filch) caught on to what they were doing. They were rudely awakened at 2am on the morning of their Transfiguration exam by a swarm of enchanted books raining down on them, and were chased out of the library by the books as Madame Pince shrieked after them. After that, they decided to use the Room of Requirement instead.

But then, just like that, it was all over. They staggered out of their final exam, Transfiguration theory, tired but triumphant. All any of them felt like doing was crawling into bed; but you didn't finish your NEWTs every day, they reminded each other, so they all set out for the Three Broomsticks instead. Somewhere along the way they lost James and Lily, but Sirius, Remus, Rosa, Peter, Frank, and Alice congregated in a corner of the noisy pub, trying to encourage Remus to flirt with Rosmerta, the very pretty barmaid who was only a few years older than they were. She confessed that she had failed her NEWTs, told a blushing Remus appreciatively that she liked a clever boy, and kept the butterbeers coming. Sirius was just mischievously suggesting that they try some firewhisky when James and Lily staggered in, laughing uncontrollably. Lily had twigs in her hair and James's knees were muddied. They had both clearly also been at the Hog's Head, the other pub in the village, for some considerable amount of time, as it was hard to say which was holding the other up.

"We're engaged," James announced triumphantly, and the others all burst out laughing.

"No, no, really," Lily protested, her arm snaking around James' waist. "We're really engaged."

The laughter died down a little.

"Are you… are you sure that's a good idea?" Rosa asked cautiously.

"He asked me before we got drunk," Lily told her, as though that fixed everything.

"But you're eighteen, Lil…"

"So? My sister's getting married."

"She's three years older."

"So?"

Rosa clearly gave up, so Sirius took up where she had left off. "You didn't tell me you were planning that, mate?" he prompted, unsure whether he ought to feel hurt, or whether James had simply decided to ask Lily on the spur of the moment and therefore hadn't shared his plans for the simple reason that he had had none.

"Sorry, mate. Thought you might try to talk me out of it." James hiccoughed loudly. "Anyway, you're the best man. Obviously."

"Cheers, mate," interrupted Remus, though he didn't look like he really minded.

"Can I do something?" Peter burst out excitedly.

"Maid of Honour," sniggered James, but Lily, who seemed a little too drunk to catch the irony, shook her head. "Don't be silly. That's Rosa."

"Er, really?" Rosa looked surprised.

"Well, who else?"

"Your sister?"

"She'll hate James." She screwed up her face and said, in a shrill voice, "He's a freak. No sister of mine is marrying a man like _that."_

"Alice, then. Or Clara."

Lily shook her head vigorously, which seemed to make her dizzy. Frank, who was nearest, held out a hand to steady her. "Thank you, Frank. No, you. And then, if I don't turn up and James doesn't turn up, it won't matter, because you and Sirius can get married instead," she finished, collapsing into a fit of giggles.

"No!" Sirius wasn't sure who had said it first, himself or Rosa. _Oh well, _he thought, _at least we know we're on the same page…_

"Why not?" Lily's brow was furrowed.

"We're eighteen," said Rosa.

"And we're got all our lives to worry about that," Sirius continued for her.

"And my parents would have a fit."

"And my parents would… oh no, wait. It would kill Mum. Let's do it."

Rosa whacked him in the stomach and he doubled over in mock pain. "And there's other stuff to worry about first. Like defeating You-Know-Who."

"Had to bring him up, didn't you?" said James gloomily, sinking into a chair and pulling Lily onto his lap.

"I'm just saying… I've got lots of things I want to do first." She turned to look at Sirius. "I'm not saying never…"

He took her hand. "I know. Neither am I. But not yet."

"Cowards," scoffed James, as Lily began to snore.

x-x-x-x-x

As they were leaving the pub, however, Sirius pulled Rosa aside. "Rosa?"

"Yes, Sirius?"

"You know about not getting married yet?"

"Yes?" There was a warning note in her voice.

"Don't worry," Sirius reassured her hastily, "I'm not changing my mind… I was just thinking."

"Thinking what?"

He summoned up all his courage. "Will you come and live with me, when we leave here?"

She examined him carefully. Then, very slowly, she nodded, once.

Sirius pulled her into a giant hug. "Thank Merlin for that."

"Well, what did you think I was going to say?"

"I wasn't sure."

They walked up to the castle some way behind the others. Frank and Alice had their arms around each other. James was half carrying Lily.

"Everyone paired off quite nicely, in the end, didn't they?" he mused, watching both couples swaying back up to the castle.

"Especially Remus and Peter," she observed wryly, and Sirius laughed. Peter, who had never been able to handle his butterbeer, had fallen asleep in the bar, and Remus, his nose wrinkling in disgust, had levitated him, and was walking along with his friend dangling in the air a few feet ahead of him.

"Well, Rosmerta did make it clear Remus was welcome to stay…"

"He wouldn't."

"I know. Always wondered why, though. He's never seemed interested in anyone."

"Many reasons. It's complicated."

Sirius gave her a sideways look. "You talked to him about it?"

"Hmm."

"So what is it? What's the problem?"

"Like I said, lots of things."

"_Is _there someone?" Sirius usually considered gossip beneath him, but it had begun to bother him that Remus was always so alone. He was sure he had seen his friend looking miserably at him and Rosa more than once, as if he envied them.

"Hmm," she said again, which Sirius was sure meant yes.

"Who?!"

"I can't say."

"Oh, go on…"

"No, Sirius, I really can't." And she sounded so firm that he knew he had to drop it.

x-x-x-x-x

If Sirius had expected James and Lily to wake up the next morning (both in James' bed, but no one complained) admitting they had made a mistake, he was to be disappointed. Both were just as convinced hungover as they had been drunk that a wedding was exactly what was needed right now, and they continued to be just as sure the next day, when they were finally completely sober.

And it turned out that when they said they were getting married, they didn't mean "someday" – they meant soon. No long engagement for them. Sirius was beginning to feel increasingly sorry for Rosa, who kept being dragged off by Lily to flick through bridal magazines, a document Sirius had never heard of before but which now seemed to be littering the Common Room. Alice had taken to perusing them absent-mindedly, a fact Frank had noticed and seemed to be treating as a hint.

It wasn't long before Frank was edging awkwardly into the dormitory, looking pleased with himself. "I asked her."

"To marry you?" Sirius asked, gobsmacked, as James greeted the news by high-fiving Frank. This, Sirius thought, rather proved his point. Anyone daft enough to go around high-fiving his friends was simply not old and mature enough to get married, in his opinion, but what was he supposed to say?

And in truth, everyone seemed to be at it. There was, after all, a tendency in the wizarding world, at least among the old families, to marry young. This perhaps explained Frank and Alice, who were both from established pure-blood families; though there was something else, Sirius suspected, that was driving people. Outside the school, Voldemort was gaining power day by day. Horrible things were happening. People were dying. He had a feeling that the sudden spate of proposals was partly inspired by a "now or never" attitude amongst his peers.

Whatever the reason, the way that half the year group seemed to be marrying themselves off did make him worry that maybe he ought to be thinking about proposing to Rosa. Most people certainly seemed to expect that he would. But the end of term came, and they packed up their belongings one final time, without either of them raising the subject again. Rosa, for her part, had taken to carrying around Sirius' old motorcycle magazines and reading them defiantly as the girls around her cooed over pictures of white dresses, which Sirius interpreted as a sign that he should keep his mouth shut.

Their last journey on the Hogwarts Express was a strange combination of familiar, since they had done the journey so many times before, and exhilarating, as they all began to realise properly for the first time that they really would never be coming back. They were all going home for the last time, and the real world lay ahead.

No one said, though they all knew, that the real world was a dangerous and unsettled place, filled with Death Eaters. It was easiest just to pretend that all that lay before them was the cluster of weddings that would be taking place over the summer.

Sirius had his own reasons to be nervous. Firstly, he and Rosa were going out to dinner with her family to explain that Rosa was to be moving into his London flat, which would inevitably be a painful conversation. And secondly, his mother would be at the station, waiting for Regulus. This was not a problem in itself, as she no longer acknowledge his existence on the very rare occasions when she clapped eyes on him, but if she caught wind of the fact that he was planning on having a Muggle-born move in with him, she might not be able to contain her wrath even now, and there was a risk of her causing an immense scene in the middle of Platform 9¾.

In the event, however, this didn't happen. Bidding their goodbyes to the others quickly (they would, after all, be seeing everyone again at the Potters' wedding in three weeks' time) they managed to get out of the station without Sirius even spotting his parents. The four of them (Naomi, Rosa's sister, was apparently still at home) made their way to Convent Garden, the location of Rosa's parents' favourite Italian restaurant. Sirius' stomach was tightening. What if Mr Glancy tried to hit him?

"So, Mum, Dad" said Rosa, with nonchalance that was obviously fake, as their main courses arrived. "There's something I… we… wanted to tell you."

"Oh?" Mr Glancy glanced suspiciously at Sirius, then back to his daughter.

"Yes." Rosa suddenly looked more nervous than Sirius could ever remember seeing her, and he gave her knee an encouraging squeeze under the table, hoping her parents wouldn't notice.

"MeandSiriushavedecidedtomoveintogether," Rosa mumbled very quickly.

Her mother blinked at her several times and her father let out a breath Sirius hadn't realised he'd been holding. "Well, at least you're not pregnant."

Sirius choked on a meatball.

"So… you're okay with it?" Rosa asked cautiously, and her father snorted. "I think it's a terrible idea, love. But I can't say I'm surprised."

"Have you thought all this through?" Mrs Glancy was asking anxiously. Sirius felt as though he ought to weigh in.

"I know this all seems a bit quick, to you," he said carefully, "But honestly, we've talked about it a lot. Very carefully." This wasn't entirely true – it had been a quick decision, and though they had spent a fair amount of time planning their lives together, they had never since questioned whether they were doing the right thing. "And we really do think…"

"No one thinks when they're eighteen," Mr Glancy was saying sternly, though he didn't look angry, only disapproving. All things considered, Sirius thought, this could be going worse.

"So, anyway," Rosa continued bravely. "Obviously I have most of my things in my trunk, so I was going to go there tonight" – it was Mr Glancy's turn to choke – "and come collect my things from you in the morning. Is that all right?"

It was very clear from Mr Glancy's face, which was turning pink, that this was very much not all right, but Mrs Glancy cut in. "Of course, dear, if you're sure…"

"You want to… spend the night with him? Tonight? Straight away?"

"Oh, Daddy," said Rosa impatiently. "Don't make such a fuss. We've been having sex for years."

x-x-x-x-x

"I genuinely thought he was going to kill me."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous," said Rosa, who was lying on the black leather sofa with her head in his lap. "He likes you, he's pleased really."

"Pity no one told his face that."

"Anyway," she went on, ignoring the insult, "he knew we were sleeping together, really. Or at least he suspected. It wasn't that much of a shock."

"I thought he was going to have a heart attack!"

"If you thought he was going to have a heart attack, you can't really have thought he was going to kill you. He couldn't have done both."

"I thought he was going to have a heart attack at first. Then I realised he'd made a full recovery and that was when I started fearing for my life."

"Oh, shut up," she said, sitting up a little so that she could kiss him. Sirius wrapped both arms around her, kissing her deeply. He couldn't quite believe, after everything they had been through, that she was here, in his living room. _Their_ living room.

"This is it," he muttered quietly, and her eyes, which had drifted shut as she kissed him, flickered open. "Hmm?"

"This is how it's going to be now. Forever."

"Forever's a very long time, you know."

"Is that a problem?"

"Not to me."

"Good."

She leaned up to kiss him again, and he, filled with a sudden need for her, swept her up, standing from the couch so that he was holding her in his arms. "I didn't carry you over the threshold. That's a Muggle tradition, isn't it?"

"That's more for when you've just got married."

"Yeah, well, I'm not bloody waiting for that," he said, and carried her through to the bedroom.

"Sorry about all the red and gold," he added, as she took in the Gryffindor hangings.

"I wouldn't have expected anything less," she snorted, and he grinned, laying her down on top of the red duvet. "We can get some green and silver in here…"

"Yeah, right."

"No, you're right. No Slytherin colours. I didn't move out of Grimmauld Place just to put pictures of snakes up everywhere here, too."

"You charmer."

"It's why you love me," he reminded her teasingly, as he sprang onto the bed, positioning himself over her.

"Ah, of course."

"And now," he murmured, leaning in so that his face hovered inches above hers, "We're going to forget all about this Gryffindor Slytherin rubbish, and I'm going to kiss you" – he did so – "And kiss you again… And again… And again… And then," he continued, his voice lowering to barely a whisper, "I am going to take off all your clothes, and do things to you that really would make your father try to kill me if he ever found out." She squirmed with pleasure as he went on. "And then when we're done, and that's not going to be for a long, long time, believe me, we're going to lie here, in _our_ bed, and fall asleep together, and I'm going to hold you all night, because we don't have dormitories or classes or exams to go to, and we don't have friends wondering where we are, and we don't have anywhere else to be but here."

As he bent down to kiss her again, she was smiling. "And what then?"

"And then," he told her, between kisses, "We'll wake up, and I might even bring you breakfast in bed, if you're lucky… and then it'll be the start of the rest of our lives."

"Well that," she said, arching her body into his as he kissed her, "Sounds like a very good plan indeed."

**AN: I wasn't going to include this chapter originally, but I felt like going straight from the end of the last chapter to the beginning of the next would be too much of a jump, so I wrote this quite quickly to fill the gap. I hope it doesn't feel too rushed, I didn't really want to drag any of these scenes out any longer than they already are here, and there was definitely no way I was going to write a wedding scene, but I know this chapter does cover a lot of time in not very much detail**.


	14. Hallowe'en

"James! They're here!"

James had been running round the garden after Harry, who in turn was whizzing around on the toy broomstick Sirius and Rosa had given him for his first birthday. At Lily's words, he caught up with his son and swept the little boy up into his arms. Harry chortled as he watched his broom speed out of control and crash into the garden shed. The cat, which had been asleep on the roof of the shed, bolted, startled, and Harry clapped his pudgy hands in delight.

James shook his head at the boy in mock severity. "You little terror."

James carried Harry through the house and out onto the front doorstep. Lily was standing in the drive, surveying with some distaste the shiny black motorbike parked there.

"What were you thinking?" she asked Rosa, who was clambering off the back of the bike looking faintly sick.

"Search me," Rosa grumbled, as Sirius bounced lightly to the floor behind her. "I don't know why you hate it so much," he said impishly. "You never minded broomsticks."

"I'm in control of a broomstick. You drive like a maniac."

"Oh, stop complaining." Sirius wrapped his arm around Rosa's waist and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "And it was the best birthday present ever."

Rosa rolled her eyes at Lily, then came forward to take Harry from James. "And how's my favourite godson?"

Harry burbled happily as the red-head cuddled him close. Sirius stepped forward as though to inspect the child. "Where'd he get those bruises?"

"Falling off that flipping broomstick you gave him," said Lily testily.

"He loves it. You admitted it. I still have the photo."

"And let's be honest, he's more steady on a broom than on his feet anyway," added James.

Lily was clearly still trying to look severe, but as always her lips betrayed her, curling into a reluctant grin. "We'll make a Quidditch player out him yet," said Rosa confidently, tickling Harry under the chin as the child gave a satisfied gurgle.

"Tea?" suggested Lily brightly, and Rosa followed her in with Harry, leaving Sirius and James alone outside.

James' eyes flitted over to the bike. He could tell Sirius was dying to show it off, so he walked over and began to examine it. "Just a regular Muggle bike?"

"Nah," said Sirius, leaning on the handle and looking very pleased with himself. "It flies."

"Of course it does," said James, not surprised at all. He ran his hand across the black leather seat. In truth he wasn't sure what he was supposed to be looking at, knowing nothing about these strange Muggle contraptions.

He glanced up at Sirius, and saw that this friend wasn't paying him any attention anyway. Instead, he was staring intently through the living room window. James followed his gaze, to where Rosa was sitting on the floor, Harry toddling around beside her. He could walk pretty much without incident, these days, but every now and then he would topple over, and Rosa would have to catch him, as both laughed.

"All right, mate?" James prompted Sirius, who seemed to be deep in thought.

Sirius gave himself a little shake. "Sorry. Yeah."

"Have you thought any more about…?"

"Marrying her? All the time, mate."

"So why don't you just ask her?"

"Well, you know, she's from a Muggle family… They don't get married as early as we do."

"Lily did."

Sirius sighed. "It's different. Lily's sister had already married, and she was quite young too. Rosa's sister's still at – what do they call it? – university. Her parents think it's weird that she moved in with me already, I don't think they'd like it."

"So?"

"So, I'm scared she'd say no. She always said she didn't want to rush things."

"Who's rushing? You've been in love with her since you were sixteen, for Merlin's sake. You've been waiting five years, grow a pair."

"I know, I just…" Sirius sighed. "She does look happy with Harry, though, doesn't she?"

Frowning, James peered back at Rosa, who was closely examining something that Harry was proudly holding out for her. The boy did have a strange knack for finding small objects around the house, retrieving them and bringing them to his parents to show to them, beaming as if he had just caught the Snitch in the Quidditch world cup. Then he looked at Sirius and was surprised to see a wistful look in his friend's eyes.

"Sirius?"

Once again, Sirius shook himself, and grinned at James. "Sorry. Miles away."

x-x-x-x-x

Inside, Lily was grilling Rosa. "When are you going to let poor Sirius propose to you?" she demanded, setting Rosa's tea down on the coffee table.

Rosa, who had been tickling Harry, groaned and leaned across to take the mug. "Don't start this again, Lil."

"Well honestly, it's ridiculous! You've been together five years, you clearly love each other, it's driving him mad that you don't seem to want to…"

"It's not that I don't want to," snapped Rosa, who had discovered the hard way that the tea was too hot to drink just yet and was fanning her mouth as Harry sniggered at her.

"What, then?"

Rosa sighed. "Lily, you know as well as I do that in the Muggle world getting married at twenty-one isn't normal."

"But we're not in the Muggle world."

"My parents are. They think things are moving too fast as it is, already living together…"

"As you have for the last three years."

"Yes, and they hated that, believe me."

"So you're going to let your parents tell you what to do?"

"No! It's just…" Rosa sighed, her eyes drifting momentarily out the window to where Sirius was leaning on the motorbike, talking to James. "I don't want to do something I wouldn't have done otherwise just because…"

"Because what?"

"Okay, you want to know what's really bothering me?"

"What?"

"People are getting married left right and centre because they're scared if they don't do it now, they'll be dead tomorrow and they'll never get the chance. I don't want You-Know-Who to scare me into getting married. That's like letting him win."

Lily made a scathing noise. "You think I married James just so we could get it done quickly before someone left a Dark Mark hovering over one of our heads? Charming."

"That's not what I mean," Rosa protested quickly. "But I… When we get married I want it to be on our terms."

Lily came to sit on the floor beside Rosa, and hugged her son to her as she did so. "Rosa, do you think I married James and had Harry because I was scared that if I didn't do it quickly I'd never get the chance? Because I didn't. I married James because I loved him, and because I knew I would always love him, and I had Harry because a child was the only thing that could have made our lives any more perfect."

"Yes, and that's wonderful…"

"Do you love Sirius?"

"Yes," said Rosa, without hesitation.

"Do you want to marry him?"

"Yes." The speed of her own response seemed to surprise her.

"Well, then. Put the poor man out of his misery, and yourself out of yours, and just let him propose. Hang your parents and hang You-Know-Who. After all," Lily added, her eyes twinkling wickedly. "You said having him rush you into doing something you wouldn't otherwise is letting him win. But I think he'd be much more pleased to think he's putting the little Muggle-born off marrying into one of the wizarding world's oldest families, don't you?"

Rosa frowned. "I suppose I hadn't thought of it like that."

"Well, think about it. And," Lily added, her eyes glinting with yet more mischief, "Think on this. I've seen the way you follow my son around like an overprotective mother hen. The sooner you say yes, the sooner you can have one of your own. And leave my poor boy to the already overwhelming attentions of his doting mother and father."

Rosa was about to protest when Harry toddled over to her and, with timing so perfect Rosa wondered if Lily had somehow orchestrated it, fell into her lap. Rosa caught him and pulled him close, feeling his tiny warmth nestled against her chest. "All right," she conceded, reluctant not because she was unhappy about her epiphany but because Lily was always so smug when she won an argument. "You've got me there."

Lily looked delighted, but at that moment they were interrupted as James and Sirius, who had apparently had their fill of the motorbike, came into the room, so Lily was limited to flashing Rosa a knowing look before turning to her husband. "How's the throttle?"

"The… er… what?" asked James, looking nonplussed, and Lily sniggered. "I can see you've been learning loads about motorbikes."

Sirius laughed. "I know he's not interested, but he pretends to be so that's the next best thing," he said, sitting himself in the armchair behind Rosa. Harry looked up, delighted, and attempted to run to his godfather. He stumbled halfway, but Sirius flicked his wand lazily and the little boy levitated before he hit the floor, gurgling happily as he floated in mid-air. Sirius reached out and grabbed him roughly, pulling him onto his lap. "And how's my boy?"

Harry waved a chubby fist in his godfather's face. "Knut!"

Sirius prised his hand open and retrieved a large gold coin. "Actually that's a galleon," he corrected the boy. "Although I suppose with so much in the family vaults you don't really need to understand the value of money…"

James made a derisive noise as Sirius tossed the coin to him. "You can talk."

"Ah, but I, my friend, am not getting a single knut more after what Uncle Alphard gave me."

"Knut!" repeated Harry, looking very pleased with himself.

"You want your pocket money? Is that it?" Sirius asked him teasingly, but Harry just cackled joyfully, pushed himself off Sirius' lap and ran to Rosa, squealing, "Rose! Rose!"

"Oh, sure, he knows _your_ name," grumbled Sirius, as his godson wrapped his podgy arms around Rosa's neck.

"Well, sort of. And anyway, Rosa is easier than Sirius," said Rosa fairly, and she pulled Harry round to look at Sirius. "Can you say Sirius' name, Harry? Si-ree-us. Go on!"

Harry screwed up his face in concentration. "See-rus!" he managed eventually, and Sirius grinned broadly. "Close enough!"

Harry clapped his hands together and Rosa pulled him closer to her, kissing him softly on the top of the head. James glanced at Sirius, and saw once again the far-away, pensive look that had bothered him earlier plastered across his friend's face. Then his eyes moved to Lily, who had also noticed Sirius' expression – and for some reason was looking immensely pleased with herself.

x-x-x-x-x

"We'd better be going," said Sirius, some time later. "We were going to check up on Peter before we go back to London."

"Oh yes, do," said Lily, looking anxious. "I feel terrible putting him in danger like this, what if they find out and…"

"And yet you'd have been fine with the Death Eaters coming after me," Sirius teased her, as Rosa reluctantly handed Harry, who had fallen asleep on her lap, over to James.

"That's not what I mean," Lily scolded him. "But honestly, Sirius, you can look after yourself… If they go after Peter, I dread to think."

"I'm not going to let anything happen to Peter," Sirius reassured her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. He went over to James, ruffled Harry's hair, and patted his friend on the shoulder. "See you soon, mate."

"Yep," said James, who was rocking Harry to him, as the boy snuggled into his chest. "Take care, both of you."

"Especially on that bike," warned Lily. Sirius laughed and left, Rosa following.

Sirius settled himself on the bike and Rosa climbed on behind, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. He paused for a moment, enjoying the closeness, before kick-starting the engine.

They drove a little way down the lane before Sirius coaxed the bike up off the ground. They accelerated quickly, so as to take advantage of the low cloud cover before they got anywhere Muggles might be likely to look up, and then levelled out. As they lifted off, Rosa gripped tighter and Sirius could feel her burrowing her face in his back.

Once they were above the clouds, the journey became more sedate. The bike was much quieter in the air than on the ground, but Sirius was happy just to fly along without trying to start up a conversation regardless.

Rosa, however, had other ideas.

"Harry's lovely, isn't he?" she said after a while.

Sirius, nodded, then remembered that she wouldn't be able to see, so he simply said, "Yes."

"Would you want one?" she asked, with clearly false nonchalance.

Sirius hesitated for a moment, trying to work out how he was supposed to respond, when he decided to go to hell with it and just tell the truth. "Yes. More than one. A whole house full."

"Start with one, though?"

"That would probably be best."

They flew in silence for a while.

"Rosa?" Sirius asked eventually.

"Yes?"

"Did you mean… you know… soon?"

"Well. Soonish."

"How soonish?"

"After we're married?"

Sirius felt a jolt in his stomach that was nothing to do with the bike. "And will that be soonish?" he asked, cautiously.

"Well, it's up to you to ask me, isn't it?"

Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. "But when I ask, you'll say yes?"

"Oh no you don't. That's such a cop out. You'll have to ask me and find out."

"Fine." Sirius rode on, not sure if he was supposed to ask her now or wait until… when, exactly?

"Will you marry me, then?" he asked, after a moment's deep soul searching.

There was a long pause.

"Well," she said eventually. "It's not as if I'm ever going to marry anyone else."

"So does that mean…" asked Sirius, hardly daring to celebrate yet in case he'd gravely misunderstood.

"Of course I'll marry you, you idiot."

Sirius grinned as her hold on his waist grew even tighter. "Of course, the disadvantage of proposing on a motorbike is that I can't kiss you right now. Or even look at you," he mused after a moment.

"Yes, well," she said, laying her head against his back. "We'll have time, later."

x-x-x-x-x

It was dusk before they were landing on the lawn outside the house that Peter lived in alone, a tiny solitary bungalow on the outskirts of Tinworth. Almost immediately Sirius sensed that something was wrong, and from the way she stiffened he could tell that Rosa had noticed it too. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something wasn't right. Indicating for Rosa to stay on the bike, he alighted and stepped cautiously towards the house. He was exasperated but unsurprised when his new fiancée, instead of doing as she was told, followed him.

The door to the bungalow was slightly ajar. Sirius, bracing himself for the worst, pushed it open, aware that Rosa, just behind him, was drawing her wand. He followed suit and they crept together into the house.

The house was clearly deserted. Nothing anywhere was making a sound, and all the lights were off. _He knew we were coming,_ thought Sirius, _he wouldn't have just gone out._ But then there were no signs of a struggle.

They crept through to the bedroom, just in case Peter was there after all, asleep, though they knew he wouldn't be. The bed was neatly made. Sirius threw open the wardrobe to find that some of the clothes were missing. Wherever Peter had gone, he had had time to pack a suitcase; which suggested he had gone voluntarily.

"You don't think…" began Rosa, but Sirius was shaking his head. "No. He wouldn't. No way. He wouldn't have the nerve. Too scared Voldemort would kill him soon as listen, too scared you or I or Remus would catch him up…"

She didn't look convinced, but Sirius was sure that Peter could not have betrayed James and Lily. He had never thought of Peter particularly highly, but he couldn't believe that for a moment. After all, if the possibility had seemed remotely feasible, he would never have suggested the Potters make him their secret keeper.

They left the bedroom and checked the living room. There was nothing here, just Peter's things, neatly arranged if somewhat sparse. The man had never been much of a hoarder.

Finally they tried the kitchen, just in case there was some clue there. Sirius went to stare out of the back window, as if Peter might have left some sort of trail behind him as he left, a great arrow hovering above the house, pointing in his general direction…

"Sirius," said Rosa, urgently.

"What?"

She pointed with a trembling hand at the kitchen table. Sirius turned to look and his heart stood still.

Lying on the table was a scrap of parchment, with a single line scrawled upon it. _Don't think any the less of me, Sirius._

Sirius froze as reality came crashing down around him. He had been wrong. Not to say that Voldemort wouldn't go after Peter, Sirius was still confident he would never have done so. But wrong to believe that Peter would be as unwavering in his loyalty to James as he had always been. _Don't think any the less of me._ What had the little rodent been expecting? Sirius' hands balled into fists as he pictured it, Peter calmly packing up some things as if going to Voldemort was just some stupid little holiday. Tidying the house, leaving the note, sniggering as he wrote it, imagining Sirius' face as he realised what had happened, James and Lily's screams as Voldemort raised his wand, Harry's crying…

_No,_ thought Sirius, _Not that. There's still time._

"We have to get back to Godric's Hollow, now," he said, but Rosa had already disappeared back through the house. He followed her, brandishing his wand as he walked, shattering Peter's belongings and blasting holes in the walls. It would have been more satisfying to knock chunks out of the rodent's face, but that could come later.

Rosa was already seated on the bike as Sirius clambered on, starting the engine up immediately. They didn't speak, but Rosa wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, more for stability than anything, since Sirius had no intention of driving so sedately as he had before.

Nevertheless, the journey back to James and Lily's seemed to take twice as long as it had to get to Tinworth. By the time they arrived over the village, night had truly fallen and the October air was bitterly cold.

Sirius crashed down onto the green and he and Rosa leapt off the bike, running in the direction of the Potters' house. Sirius was telling himself that there was still time, there had to be. His best friends and his godson, there was no way he would fail to save them, he would never be able to live with himself if he did.

As they wheeled round the bend in the road, however, they realised that they were too late.

The Potters' house was a ruin. Most of the top floor had caved in, and the parts of the house that were still standing were groaning in the wintery wind. Sirius and Rosa knew that there was nothing they could do, but they sped up nonetheless, storming into the garden at full pelt, both with their wands outstretched. They hardly knew what they were planning on doing. One thing gave them hope; there was no Dark Mark. Had the Potters somehow escaped? Would they find them, injured, perhaps, unconscious, maybe, but alive, somewhere in the rubble?

Someone or something was indeed moving in the shadows. Sirius padded forward cautiously, wand held high. "James? Lily?" he pleaded, hardly daring to hope.

It was neither. As Sirius approached, Rubeus Hagrid, the Hogwarts gamekeeper who had taken them across the lake on their first day at school so many years before, shuffled into sight.

"Hagrid?" For a moment Sirius was about to ask the gigantic man what he was doing there, but there were more important questions. "Where are James and Lily?"

Hagrid looked at him, and Sirius' heart sank. _No, no, no,_ he begged, _Don't say it, don't say it, if you don't say it and I don't hear it then it won't have to be true…_

"They're dead, Sirius," said Hagrid, his voice full of sadness.

For a moment Sirius thought his knees were going to give way, but then he felt Rosa's hand on his arm, steadying him. "And Harry?" she was asking, and Sirius, horrified with himself for forgetting to ask after his godson, turned his face away. He couldn't hear what was surely coming next.

Then he heard Rosa gasp, and looked back. Hagrid was holding up a tiny bundle, and Sirius peered closely at it, unable to believe what he was seeing. Harry was lying asleep in Hagrid's arms, his eyes tight shut, a tiny frown on his face, and…

"What the hell is that?" barked Sirius, as he eyed the angry, jagged cut splayed across Harry's forehead.

Harry stirred slightly at the sudden noise and Hagrid rocked him awkwardly. Harry's hands balled into fists, but a moment later they relaxed again as he fell back into his deep sleep.

"It's a scar. From the killin' curse, I reckon," said Hagrid, and Sirius looked from baby to giant, thoroughly confused. "A killing curse? But how did he… how is he…"

"I don' know," Hagrid admitted. "He shoul' be dead, poor little mite."

"But… but… where's Voldemort?" Sirius found himself looking around as though Voldemort might appear at any moment from behind a hedge. "He can't have just left Harry… not alive. And where's the Dark Mark?"

Hagrid was shaking his head. "I don' understand any better'n you do, Sirius," he said honestly. "Looks now like 'e's been done in, but tha' just don' make sense. None o' it does. I'm waitin' ter hear wha' Dumbledore 'as ter say."

"Done in?" Rosa repeated, sounded every bit as thunderstruck as Sirius felt. "You mean he's dead?"

"No one knows, not yet, but tha's what there's sayin'," Hagrid told her. "Don' ask me nuttin', I don' understand it, I'm just 'ere for Harry."

"What do you mean, you're here for Harry?" snarled Sirius, taking a step towards Hagrid and reaching out for the sleeping child. "I'm his godfather! _We're_ his godparents. He comes with us, Hagrid, give him to me."

Hagrid looked deeply uncomfortable. "Dumbledore said he were to go ter 'is family, Sirius. I can't jus' give him ter yer."

"I am his family! Or as close to it as anyone, he has no family left now!"

"There's Lily's sister. He's to go ter them."

"What?" spluttered Sirius. "But they're Muggles! And vile ones, too, you should have heard Lily taking about them…" All Lily's horror stories about her bitch of a magic-hating sister were flooding back to him, and the idea of Harry living with those people filled him with fury.

"I'm sorry, Sirius, Dumbledore's orders…"

"Fuck Dumbledore! I'm his guardian now… I mean _we_ are his guardians," he added, as Rosa gave his arm a pinch. "That's what they wanted, and that's what's happening. James and Lily are gone, you're not taking Harry away from me too!"

Rosa's arm was twisting around his waist, but Sirius shook her off angrily. He didn't want comforting now, not yet, he just wanted Harry, safe in his arms, safe with him.

But Hagrid was shaking his head. "Nothin' I can do, Sirius, I'm sorry."

Sirius deflated as quickly as he had angered. He could see the hopelessness of the situation; he knew Hagrid would never, ever disobey an order from Dumbledore. Sirius and Rosa would just have to take the matter up with the man himself.

"Take the bike, then," he said exhaustedly, and Hagrid looked taken aback by the sudden change in tack. "It's on the green. We won't be needing it. Get him there, safely, but tell Dumbledore this isn't over."

He could feel Rosa's gaze penetrating the back of his skull and knew she was trying to size him up, work out his plan, but right now he had none. He felt tired, so tired, and he wanted to curl up in the rubble where his friends had died and go to sleep, perhaps forever, and never have to face a world without them, a world where Harry had no family and was even denied a home with the two people who, of all others living, loved him most.

He heard Hagrid moving away but didn't bother to look up. His head felt too heavy to lift.

This was his fault, he was slowly realising. If he hadn't renegaded on his responsibility, persuaded James and Lily to put their faith in Peter instead of him, they would still be alive. Yes Voldemort would have come after him one day, and would probably have killed him for the secret, but at least Sirius would have died to keep it. James and Lily would still be alive; Harry would still have his parents; and Rosa… Rosa would be a widow, yes (assuming they'd have had time to marry, before Voldemort came for him), but that would be better than being engaged to a hopeless, cowardly failure who had pretty much signed the death warrants of his best friends.

Rosa, who had been watching him intently, suddenly spoke. "Snap out of it, Sirius."

He spun round to face her. "How the hell am I supposed to do that? I killed them, Rosa, or I might as well have done, so just how am I supposed to snap out of it and live with myself…"

"You didn't kill them," she told him firmly. "We know who did that. And he's out there somewhere, Sirius. Only you and I know he was their secret keeper. Everyone else thinks it was you. No one will be looking for him, he could escape so easily. Are you going to let that happen, Sirius?"

Sirius gazed into her eyes, which were glittering with hot, angry tears despite the steadiness of her voice. And he knew she was right. The rage that had temporarily subsided into desperation came back stronger than ever. He was filled with it, a great roaring anger that drowned out the hammering in his head, that gave him the strength to hold out his hand to take Rosa's. She was ready. The Slytherin, as brave as any Gryffindor, and probably even braver than most of them, squeezed his hand once and together they disapparated.


	15. Murderer

Sirius and Rosa appeared together in Peter's living room. It they were going to find Peter, they had to know where he had gone, and if there were any clues anywhere, they would be here.

Wordlessly they separated to search the house. Rosa swept back to the kitchen, and Sirius tried the bedroom. It was too much to hope that there might be a diary… but perhaps there would be letters? _From whom?_ he admonished himself. _Dear Peter, very glad you can tell me the whereabouts of the Potters, meet me at my secret headquarters, here's the address, love Voldemort._ Some hope.

"Sirius?"

Sirius re-emerged from the bedroom, where he found Rosa standing over the note on the kitchen table. "How good's your nose, as Padfoot?"

Sirius looked from her to the letter, and understood, but he shook his head. "Not good enough," he said. "He must be miles away by now, I wouldn't be able to trace him without some idea which direction to head in. And besides, everything in this house would smell of him, it would be too distracting."

She nodded once, and went back to searching the cupboards. Sirius wasn't sure what she thought she would find there, but then he wasn't sure what they would find in the whole bungalow, if anything at all.

"We could go to his mother," he said dully. "Maybe she'll know…"

"Even that coward wouldn't embroil his frail old mother in this," Rosa replied scornfully. "No, we need to find a Death Eater."

Sirius looked up, shocked. "What?"

"Wormtail will only have gone to You-Know-Who if he was sure he'd be protected. So someone's looking after him, and it won't be You-Know-Who himself. We need to find out who."

"And how do you propose we do that?" asked Sirius sarcastically. "Hey, Death Eaters, who wants to betray their old master and tell us where the rodent is…"

"Can you really not think of a Death Eater who would want to get revenge on the guy who killed Lily Evans?"

Sirius turned to stare at her. "You mean…"

x-x-x-x-x

Sirius had never been to Spinner's End before. Walking down the narrow, poorly lit street now he thought it was probably the most depressing place he had ever been in his life, except perhaps for 12 Grimmauld Place. For a moment he was on the verge of pitying Snape, being brought up here, but then he remembered that this was Snape, Severus Snape, and snapped out of it.

Rosa was marching up the steps of Snape's house. Sirius followed her, his heart beating wildly. He couldn't believe, after everything that had happened, that they were turning to Snape for help.

"Snape?" Rosa was calling, hammering on the door. "Snape!"

The door opened, although only by a couple of inches. "Who is it?"

Sirius could tell at once that this was the voice of a broken man. For the second time in a matter of minutes, he felt a pang of pity. Then he remembered that Snape had followed the man who had killed Lily, and he couldn't feel sorry for him, not really. _You made your choice a long time ago,_ he told Snape silently.

As soon as the door had opened, Rosa had begun forcing her way in. Sirius followed her, and within moments they were both standing, wands raised, in a dingy hallway. Snape was standing in front of them, and hadn't bothered to raise his wand.

"Go on, then," he said miserably. "Do it."

"Do what?" snarled Sirius, brandishing his wand inches from the other man's face.

"Kill me."

"We're not going to kill you," Rosa told him evenly. "Killing's too good for you. We'd rather let you live in the hell you've created for yourself."

Snape's eyes flickered from Sirius to her and back again. "Mercy is a cruel virtue."

"Enough small talk!" snapped Sirius, his hand shaking. "Tell us where he is."

"The Dark Lord? If I knew that, do you not think I would have gone after him myself?"

Sirius shook his head impatiently. "Not him. Pettigrew."

"_Pettigrew?_" Snape sounded genuinely confused. "Why… how on earth should I know where that pointless little waste of space is? Who even cares?"

Sirius and Rosa realised in the same moment. Snape didn't know that Peter had been the secret keeper. Although he didn't seem to know either that it was supposed to have been Sirius, or presumably he would have cursed them as soon as they stepped through the door. Sirius glanced at Rosa and saw her staring at him, waiting for his lead.

Sirius lowered his wand. "Never mind." Explaining would waste precious time; and this scum didn't deserve it anyway. Gesturing to Rosa with a jerk of his head, he turned his back on Snape and stormed out of the house.

"Black!"

Sirius spun on the spot, scarcely able to believe that he was wasting any more time on the snake. "What?"

Snape looked as though he was on the verge of tears. "I… I am truly sorry," he managed.

Sirius didn't waste words. Keeping eye-contact with Snape, he spat on the ground at his feet. "Tell that to Harry," he snarled, and followed Rosa out of the house.

"I just thought," she was saying. "You-Know-Who would have ordered someone to keep an eye on Wormtail, yes? But then when he fell, if he really has fallen – I mean, who's to say they'd have obeyed? The Death Eaters must be in chaos. He's probably out there on his own somewhere."

"But where?"

"Well, he'll have gone somewhere he feels safe. Somewhere he thinks people won't hurt him."

"Get there faster," growled Sirius, aware that she was trying to walk him to an epiphany and rapidly losing patience.

"I think you were right the first time. I think we should try his mother."

"But you said…"

"I know what I said. But think about it. He's running from you, not the Death Eaters. He knows you won't hurt an innocent woman. So he'll go hide behind his mummy, knowing you're too decent to blast her out of the way," she concluded bitterly.

"So what are you saying? We prove him wrong and go and blast her out of the way anyway?"

"Obviously not. But it's surely worth seeing if he's there?"

x-x-x-x-x

Mrs Pettigrew lived alone in a small house in Tinworth, not far from Peter's own bungalow. Mr Pettigrew had disappeared not long after Peter had been born, and she had raised her only son in that house until he had left school and moved a little way out of the village. Sirius and Rosa appeared in the driveway of her house and Sirius strode up the path, Rosa right behind him.

"I didn't realise he lived so near to her," Rosa was panting as she struggled to keep up. "He probably won't be here, he wouldn't feel safe so near to his own house…"

"Well, we're here now, we may as well check," said Sirius, and rapped on the door.

A window opened above them and Mrs Pettigrew, a tiny, mousey-haired woman, leaned out. "Who is it?"

"Sirius Black," Sirius called up to her. "Where's Peter?"

"Oh now really, this is ridiculous," said Mrs Pettigrew crossly. "It's the middle of the night! I don't know what you're up to, boy, but you can leave Peter out of it. He's too old to still be following you and that Potter boy about like an abandoned puppy."

"Is he here?" Sirius insisted, ignoring the rest.

"Please, Mrs Pettigrew, it's very important that we find him," piped up Rosa.

"I don't know where he is! Is he not at his bungalow?" she snapped down at them. "I've really had enough of this, Black! Peter's a good boy, you shouldn't keep dragging him into trouble. I don't care what mess you and your little girlfriend have got yourselves into, he's not bailing you out. After all the years you bullied him at school!"

And with that, she slammed the window shut.

Sirius turned to Rosa, frowning. "Did I bully him?"

She rolled her eyes. "Hardly. Although you probably weren't a very good friend either. You took advantage a bit. Anyway, that's not important now! The important thing is, he's not here."

"So where is he?"

"There's only one thing I can think of."

"Which is?"

"Well, think about it. Who knows he was their secret keeper, apart from you and me?"

"No one."

"Exactly. Everyone thinks it was you. Which means everyone will think it was you who betrayed them." She paused. "Does that bother you?"

Sirius made a deep growling noise in the back of his throat. "They'll all find out the truth soon enough."

She nodded, and then went on urgently. "_But, _since the Death Eaters won't protect him, he'll be going to people on our side. Because they'll think you're the enemy, and he'll be asking them for protection until he can work out how to get rid of you. Well. Us."

"So who will he have gone to?"

"Who else knew that you were supposed to be their secret keeper? Who will be sitting at home right now thinking that you killed them?"

Sirius' heart sank. "Remus."

x-x-x-x-x

Remus, Sirius knew, had been having a hard time since school. He was unable to find a job because of his lycanthropy, and his parents didn't have the funds to support him. James and Sirius had both been trying to help him, James especially, but Remus was too proud to accept much. He had been living in a tiny one-roomed flat in central London, surrounded by Muggles and locking himself in his room during his transformations.

Sirius and Rosa apparated to an alleyway just off the street running adjacent to Remus' own. It was getting light, and Muggles were beginning to emerge, presumably on their way to work. Sirius and Rosa ignored them, charging instead in the direction of Remus' flat.

They never made it, however.

"I thought you'd come here, eventually."

They skidded to a halt. Peter was standing in the middle of the road, apparently unarmed and shivering slightly.

Sirius didn't hesitate. He advanced on the smaller man, feeling in his pocket for his wand. "_You_."

"Me." For the first time in his life, Peter didn't look scared. "Have you come to kill me, Sirius?"

"No." Sirius hadn't actually thought, before, about what he was going to do with Peter when he found him, but as soon as the question had been asked he knew the answer, and he told him, in a menacing whisper. "Killing really would be too good for you, sewer scum. I'm going to take you in myself, and you can face the Dementors. A fate worse than death, I'm told, their kiss…"

"No one will listen to you. They all think you're the murderer." Peter was backing away onto the pavement as though intimidated but – strangely – he still didn't actually look frightened. Clusters of Muggles were congregating on the pavements around them, watching curiously. Sirius could sense Rosa, just behind him.

"For now, they do," he hissed, through gritted teeth. "But once I tell them what really happened…"

"But Sirius…" Peter swallowed hard, a flash of his cowardly self suddenly shining through. "What was I supposed to do, Sirius?"

"What were you supposed to do?!" snarled Sirius, raising his wand. The Muggles on the pavement started sniggering. He supposed his wand just looked like a mere fragile stick to them – hardly very threatening. "You make it sound as if he chased you down, Wormtail, tortured you – but he didn't! Even if he had it would have been no excuse, but you packed up and went looking for him!" Then, suddenly, everything began to sink into place. "It's more than that, isn't it?" he said, suddenly realising what had been staring him in the face alright. "It's been you spying on them all this time? And I thought maybe..." He couldn't bring himself to admit aloud that he had suspected Remus.

"He would have found me sooner or later, Sirius, I had to go to him first… I knew then he would be merciful to me…"

"You were willing to coldly and deliberately sacrifice your best friends and their son just to save your own skin!" spat Rosa, who had been silent throughout the encounter so far. "And the hat put you in _Gryffindor_!"

"It wasn't just that," said Sirius, surveying his old friend with unconcealed disgust. "He always stuck to the biggest bully in the playground, didn't you, Wormtail? Once upon a time it was me and James. Now it's Voldemort."

"NO!" Peter yelled suddenly, and Sirius took half a step back, surprised. Until now their conversation had been carried out very quietly, since they were standing barely a foot apart, and the sudden volume had him taken aback. "You killed them, Sirius!"

"What?" Sirius glanced at Rosa, whose eyes were widening in comprehension, but Sirius was still confused. Peter had just admitted that it was him, what was he doing?

"Lily and James, Sirius, how could you!" Peter howled at the top of his lungs.

"What?" repeated Sirius, raising his wand. He would just body-bind him, that was it, and keep him quiet until the aurors got here…

But before the thought had even finished crossing his mind, a mighty explosion knocked him backwards off his feet, and Peter disappeared in a cloud of smoke and dust.

"Wormtail!" bellowed Sirius, his eyes searching for traces of the rat on the ground, but there was nothing. He scrambled to his feet and turned to face Rosa. "Hurry, we have to…"

The words died in his throat. Like him, Rosa had been knocked back by the blast – but she had landed on the ground several yards behind him, and she was completely still.

Sirius looked around him. About a dozen Muggles were in the same state, lying sprawled across the pavements. At once he understood. He had been close enough to Peter at the epicentre to escape the full force of the blast, but the onlookers had not been so lucky.

And Rosa… Rosa.

Sirius threw himself to the ground next to her limp form, and listed her up into his arms. _Please be all right, please be all right…_ His hand scrabbled for her wrist, searching for a pulse.

Nothing.

He shook her, but of course it did no good. Her whole body was heavy and there was no pulse anywhere, not at her wrist, not at her throat, not in her temples, nothing. She wasn't breathing. She must have been killed instantly.

He looked up, hardly seeing, at the crowds gathering around. Enough Muggles had been spared to tell the Aurors what they had heard before their memories were wiped. What Peter had accused Sirius of.

Rosa had understood what was happening, what Peter was trying to do. That must be why she had stepped back, trying to escape the danger zone. If only she had been as stupid as Sirius, stayed at his side, maybe she would have still been close enough to Peter to be safe.

He knew he wouldn't have long to wait before the Aurors arrived and arrested him. Putting the thought out of his mind, he looked down at the body of the girl he had just asked to marry him and realised that he had never even kissed her since doing so.

He did it now, pressing his lips to hers. They were still warm. Sirius pulled her up to him, pressing her body against his chest as though the thundering of his heart could kick-start hers. He buried his face in the red hair, unable to think of anything except for what he had lost. What did it matter that the Aurors would arrest him soon? What did it matter that no one would believe his innocence, that he had nothing to show to prove it? He had no need to be free, anymore, no reason. What could the Dementors do to him, now?

He had a nagging feeling that he ought to be crying. In one night, he had lost his two best friends, and his fiancée. Remus, too – Remus would believe that Sirius had killed James and Lily and Peter. There was no one left on his side, no one to believe him when he said he hadn't done it.

So what did it matter if they locked him up? What did it matter if the Dementors sucked out his soul? He was already completely empty. Maybe that was why he couldn't cry. Maybe his ability to feel anything had died with Rosa.

He began to laugh, bitterly.

"Freeze, Black!"

Sirius recognised that voice. Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody was one of the Ministry's most experienced Aurors, and a member of the Order of the Phoenix. Sirius turned, very slowly, to face him.

"All right, Alastor," he said heavily. "I won't put up a fight."

As Mad-Eye approached, his normal eye stayed fixed on Sirius, but the blue, free-roaming one which gave him his name took in Rosa's limp form. He shook his head. "Got what she deserved, then, your little accomplice?"

Sirius felt a sudden surge of anger. "She did nothing," he spat. "Believe what you want of me, but don't think that of her. She's not responsible for any of this."

Mad-Eye didn't respond. He waved his wand and Sirius felt ropes entwining around his wrists and ankles. He didn't bother to struggle. If nothing else, he knew that these bonds would be enchanted, making escape impossible. The ropes pulled his legs together and he toppled and fell.

Mad-Eye stepped forward and picked up Sirius' wand from where it lay on the floor. Pocketing it, he leaned forwards, grabbed Sirius roughly by the shoulder and disapparated, taking Sirius with him. Sirius, who had always hated side-along apparition, had to fight a growing nausea in the pit of his stomach. He wasn't sure if it was the travelling, or the thought of Rosa's body lying undisposed of on the pavement, that was having this effect on him.

They emerged in a large, circular office. Sirius assumed they were somewhere inside the Ministry, although he had no way of being sure, since he had never been before.

Then a door opened and a figure Sirius recognised from the _Prophet_ swept in.

Bartemius Crouch was surprisingly short in real life, and impeccably neat. His stature and tidiness only served to exacerbate the fact that when his eyes burst out of his skull, as they were doing now, he looked thoroughly deranged.

"This is the traitor?" he spat at Mad-Eye, who nodded. "Arrested at the scene, sir. We're questioning the Muggle witnesses right now. What's left of them," he added, eyeing Sirius nastily.

"Dumbledore said you were the Potters' secret keeper?" Crouch threw at Sirius. Sirius didn't reply. No one was ever going to believe he was innocent, and in truth he didn't blame them, not really. He wouldn't have believed it himself.

Crouch surveyed him for a full minute, his expression thunderous, then gave a derisive snort. "Sirius Black, I am sentencing you to life in Azkaban for the murders of James and Lily Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Rosa Glancy and eleven as yet unidentified Muggles."

Sirius didn't respond. "No trial, sir?" grunted Mad-Eye, his good eye flitting to Crouch. _Good old Mad-Eye_, Sirius thought hopelessly, _always looking to do what's fair…_

"No need," snarled Crouch. "Look at him. Can't even be bothered to protest his own innocence." He turned and went to sweep out of the room, before throwing back over his shoulder. "Have the girl buried in Azkaban graveyard," he barked at Mad-Eye. "She'd be there for life if he hadn't finished her off already. No one'll be too sad to see her gone, I shouldn't wonder."

Sirius looked up sharply, a fact which didn't escape Mad-Eye's notice. "Yeah, yeah, Black, she was innocent. Except, funny thing, she's not around to defend herself, and apparently today we're not even interested in hearing from those who are." He waved aside Sirius' muttered protest. "Give it up, boy! She's dead, and if she wasn't she'd be in Azkaban with you. She's probably better off as she is, you did her a favour."

At that moment, a young Auror apparated into the room. Mad-Eye turned to face him. "Ah, Kingsley, any news?"

"All the Muggles have been memory wiped, sir," the younger man told him, eyeing Sirius with disgust. "Pettigrew was pleading with him, they said. Begging him not to kill them, like he did the Potters."

Sirius felt sick again, but he didn't see anything.

"He's going to Azkaban. For life. No trial." Mad-Eye still didn't look happy about this.

The other man nodded once. "I know it's unorthodox, Alastor, but really…"

"Yeah, well," Mad-Eye interrupted. "I've got a job for you. Go back, get the girl's body, bury her at Azkaban. Crouch's orders."

"I want to be there," Sirius insisted, finding his voice at last. Both Aurors turned to look incredulously at him.

"Fat chance," said Mad-Eye, as Kingsley disapparated without saying anything. "I'll be putting you in your cell myself, and you won't ever be coming out of it."

He grabbed Sirius roughly by the shoulder, and once again, apparated.

They emerged in a very small, white room. Two youngish men were waiting for them, and on Mad-Eye's signal they lifted Sirius, who was still bound, between them. Without a word, Mad-Eye gestured to the door and they obediently carried Sirius out.

Outside the room was a long, dark corridor. The temperature dropped several degrees and a cold, dark despair wrapped itself around Sirius' heart.

"That's the Dementors, lad," grunted Mad-Eye, noticing Sirius' face. "Be ready to feel like this for a long, long time."

The two young men marched Sirius, still tied up, down the hall. One was digging his fingernails very deliberately into Sirius' skin. Sirius didn't say anything, but Mad-Eye noticed anyway and cuffed the man smartly around the ear. "Oi! None of that."

All things considered, thought Sirius, it was lucky that it was Mad-Eye who was accompanying him. He was probably the only wizard in the world who was so convinced that everyone was guilty of something all of the time, that he wouldn't instantly turn against someone whose guilt was being publically presumed. The thought didn't give him much consolation. He didn't think anything would ever give him much consolation again.

Mad-Eye wrenched a door open and gestured for the two men to leave Sirius inside. They did so, and as one of them locked the barred door, Mad-Eye waved them away. "That's enough from you two, now hop it."

They scuttled off, back to their little white room. Sirius wondered bleakly how they managed a job like this. Just being in the prison for a few minutes had stripped him of all hope or happiness. But then, he supposed that wasn't really the prison. All human feeling, anything good that had ever been part of his life, had been slowly corroded away throughout the course of the night. Rosa. James. Lily. Remus. Harry. Even Peter, although that particular loss made him feel more angry than mournful.

Mad-Eye was surveying him through the bars on the door. "The Dementors don't patrol when we're bringing someone in," he said, gruffly but almost conversationally. "Know your boys there wouldn't cope. It's bad enough now, isn't it, Black? Though not nearly as bad as what's going on inside your head, I daresay."

Sirius didn't look at him. He lay on the cold floor, the ropes biting into his wrists.

Mad-Eye waved his wand, and the ropes binding him fell away. "But they'll be out as soon as I've gone," he continued, "And then things'll really get bad, boy."

Sirius didn't bother to tell him that things really couldn't get any worse.

Mad-Eye was examining him - with both eyes, somewhat unusually - head to one side. "You know, Black, I suspect everyone of everything, all of the time. But this… this surprised even me." He sighed. "You and the little snake bitch."

He turned to leave and Sirius, filled with an immense anger, threw himself after him. "ROSA WAS INNOCENT!" he bellowed after Mad-Eye's retreating form, rattling the bars on the door of his cell, but the Auror just made a gesture with his hand that indicated he wasn't listening, and didn't look back.

A door slammed at the end of the corridor. Sirius fell back onto the floor, his back against the cold stone wall. The room contained a bucket, which he assumed he was supposed to treat as a toilet, and nothing else at all. He groaned, and buried his head in his hands.

_They really didn't need to send me to the Dementors,_ he thought bitterly. _Suck all the happiness out, will they? Good luck to them. They won't find any here._

Even as he thought it, he heard a door creaking open, at the opposite end of the corridor from that Mad-Eye had disappeared through.

Instantly, the temperature dropped still further. Sirius closed his eyes. He had read, at school, about what was about to happen, and he knew it was going to be hellish. But he didn't even have the energy to dread it.

Horrible pictures began to flash through his mind. Not just pictures, either. Memories. His very worst memories. Grimmauld Place, his mother, his father, his brother, featured heavily. He was reliving a childhood he had tried so hard to forget, and yet, he thought, this couldn't be it. This couldn't be the worst the Dementors would throw at him. He was too exhausted to think, to work out what was coming, but a nagging voice told him that things would only get worse.

The voice was right.

His parents, ordering him to leave their house forever. Mr and Mrs Potter's funeral. Arriving at Peter's house and finding it empty. Rounding the corner to see the James and Lily's house, destroyed. Hagrid, tucking Harry away inside his coat, telling Sirius he couldn't take him. And Rosa, splayed on the ground in front of him, her hand thrown out at an odd angle, her hair fanning out over the pavement…

Rosa. Beautiful, sarcastic, clever, loving, passionate, and dead.

_And innocent._

The thought penetrated his despair and he opened his eyes. Whatever else the world might be thinking, she had been innocent. And so was he.

"Criminals go mad in here, love," he whispered, imagining for a moment that she was sitting beside him. He focused very hard on the vision he had conjured up, alive and serious, listening to him intently. "But we won't, will we? Because we're not criminals."

"You're already going mad," she said dryly. "I'm dead, you moron. You're imagining me. How could I go mad in this place when I'm not here?"

The words broke his heart, but he forced a snigger. "You're right," he said. "You are dead. But you're innocent. And so am I. So we won't go mad, will we?"

She rolled her eyes. "No," she said, although he could tell she was only humouring him, that she was convinced he was already losing his sanity. He didn't care. He reached out to take her hand, but his arm drifted right through hers. The illusion shattered and she was gone. He knew that he wouldn't be able to bring her back.

He looked up as a dark, hooded figure drifted past his cell. A fresh wave of despair hit him, her broken body flashed before his eyes again and he began to shake. _I won't go mad,_ he told himself. _I won't go mad._

Sleeping on the floor as a human would be uncomfortable, he thought. Luckily he had a way round it that none of the other prisoners had.

"Help me, Snuffles," he murmured, and as a dog, he curled up in the corner of his cell, trying to shut out the misery that continued to wash over him. Any hope he may have had that he would be impervious to the Dementors in dog form had been in vain; even now, his mind was filled with human fears and heartbreak.

But it was also filled with one important fact, which he focused on as hard as he could, trying to drown out the sounds of all the other thoughts and memories. _I'm innocent. We're innocent._

**AN: First of all, apologies that the ending's so miserable. I'll be posting a VERY short epilogue tomorrow which may make it better, or worse, depending on how you look at it.**

**Secondly, I want to say a massive thank you to everyone who's read, reviewed, followed and favourited; it's meant a lot. I've really enjoyed writing this and I hope you have reading it.**

**Thirdly, if you ****_have_**** enjoyed reading this, then check out ****_Mostly Human: The Full Confessions of Remus Lupin_****, my next fic, which will be filling in the gaps in Remus's life from Hallowe'en 1981 onwards, and is up now! (If you do, then Rosa and Sirius' conversation in Chapter 13 may start to make sense...)**

**But for now, thanks again for reading and I'll see you tomorrow in the Department of Mysteries...**


	16. Epilogue: Through the Veil

Sirius had not come to the Department of Mysteries ready to die. In fact, he had arrived feeling more alive than he had for years and years.

So when Bellatrix's curse hit him, his first instinct had been rage, insurmountable rage. He wasn't ready to go yet. He couldn't go. They needed him here. Harry needed him. For the first time in nearly fifteen years, he had a reason to want to stay.

The anger never registered on his face. His eyes widened a little, in shock and perhaps fear, but it was only momentary. His body arched backwards, and he just had time to glance over to Harry before he fell through the veil.

Someone was waiting to catch him on the other side.

He fell bodily into Rosa, and she gasped as she grabbed him with both hands to steady him. "All right," she said, "It's all right. I've got you."

Sirius stared up into her amber eyes. "Rosa? You're alive?"

"No."

And then it sunk in. "Oh. I'm dead?"

"Yes."

"But…" he scrambled up out of her arms, staring at the archway he had just fallen through. "But Harry…"

"Will be fine," she finished for him, soothingly.

"Will he?"

"Eventually. He's one tough kid, that boy."

"Just like his father."

"And his godfather."

He turned to her, understanding without needing to ask that even though it may look as though he could just step back through the veil to re-join Harry, it would be impossible. She gazed at him, and Sirius found himself stepping forward, wrapping both arms around her. She still fit perfectly within them, as though she'd never been away.

"We never even got married," he murmured, burying his face in her hair.

"Well, it only lasts 'til death do us part anyway," she reminded him, and he smiled, with more warmth than he had done for years. "So what happens now?"

"We go on," she said, quietly.

"On where?"

"To what follows," she told him mysteriously. She pulled out of his embrace and glanced up, in the opposite direction from the veil.

For the first time, Sirius took in his surroundings. He hadn't realised before, but they seemed to be outside, and it was night time. They were standing on the bank of a lake, sheltered by trees. Sirius looked to his left and saw a familiar looking tree stump. A pathway led up, away from the lake, but Sirius knew instinctively that wherever it led, it wasn't to his old school.

Halfway up the path stood two figures, silhouettes in the moonlight. One, a messy-haired young man about a head shorter than Sirius, had his arm around the other, a small, slim woman with, as Sirius knew although he couldn't see, red hair and glittering green eyes.

"They've been waiting for you," said Rosa quietly.

Sirius looked at the figures a little while longer, then back to her. "Let them wait," he murmured, and bent his head down towards her, pressing his lips against hers.

As they pulled apart, she took his hand.

"Are you ready now?"

"Yes," he replied, simply.

He hadn't come to the Department of Mysteries ready to die. But now that he had, and all the concerns of the living were falling away from him, he realised that it really wasn't so terrifying after all.

In fact, it was just like coming home.


End file.
